Never, Ever Give Up Hope

Real Life Resilience

“You have to work at hoping for the positive,” says Carol Graham, host of the bi-weekly podcast Never Ever Give up Hope. She has survived the challenges of major illnesses, devastating personal losses and financial ruin more than once, yet has refused to become a victim. Her goal is to share hope with others and lessons on how to survive and thrive.

Don’t Give Up Hope…Choose to Forgive

Carol is an excellent example of how necessary it is to keep a positive mindset during some of the toughest of trials. After realizing that she was in control of her future, Carol decided to dedicate her life to helping others.

Being a motivational speaker is just one of the many ways that Carol positively impacts the lives of others. She hosts a bi-weekly podcast, and recently released her memoir. Carol is a successful business woman owns and operates two jewelry stores. She has been a certified life coach for 35 years, and touched numerous lives. In addition to helping other humans, Carol has rescued over 30 dogs with her husband.

Overcoming Trials and Traumas

“People get so overwhelmed by 1 or 2 traumas in their life that they have difficulty imagining someone going through them back to back.” There was a point in Carol’s life that she avoided answering the phone, fearing that it would just be more bad news. Carol was born very ill, and after consulting seventeen experts she encountered a specialist who told her that she needed to get a hysterectomy.

“Lady… Go home, suffer, and die,” is what Carol was told after she refused to get a hysterectomy. Determined, she told the expert that she would walk back in there one day – pregnant. 14 years later, she walked back in there to prove him wrong. However, it was not an easy road to get to that point.

Carol is the victim of sexual violence. One day, she was gang raped and left for dead on the street. Rape is one of the most traumatizing events someone can suffer through, but Carol chose not to let it impact her negatively for the rest of her life. She says that she decided to forgive those who wronged her, in order to move on from the experience.

Not only once, but twice was Carol robbed by her business partners. Even then, she actively decided to forgive people who she trusted that went corrupt. While her previous partners profited and became successful, she and her husband were left with virtually nothing.

After a year of having an adopted son, his biological mother decided she wanted custody of him. Carol suffered greatly when she lost her son, then had to endure the same suffering years later. Thirty years into their relationship, Carol lost another adopted son due to estrangement.

Carol reached a point in her life where her traumas were too much for her, and once tried to commit suicide. She lost both of her parents at a young age, and did not seek out friendships. She believed that people would not want to be friends with her due to her struggles, so she did not have a healthy support group.

She relied on her faith, and believed that she would be guided through whatever situation. Carol attributes her faith as her largest source of hope at some points during her life. In hindsight, Carol believes that it is very important to have a support group that you can rely on.

The Key to Remaining Positive?

Carol thinks the most important thing to overcoming your traumas and trials is to have a sense of humor. There have been many times in her life where Carol chose to laugh, because if she did not laugh she would end up crying. She and her husband have rescued over 30 dogs, and she says that animals can bring humor into your life when you need it most.

It can be hard to always have a positive mindset, but Carol believes that you can choose how you view what has happened to you. Her advice? Move on. She says that she has moved past all of her traumas, because she decided to remain positive throughout them.

Take Home Message

• You choose how you are influenced by what has happened to you

• Sometimes, you need to laugh to keep yourself from crying

• With positivity, you can overcome anything

Listen to the episode for the full story.

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Carol mentioned humor as one of her key resilience factors. Humor is as well-known resilience strategy. In their book, The Resilient Self, Dr. Steven and Sybil Wolin state that humor can turn nothing into something and something into nothing.”

A blog post on This Emotional Life, goes further to explain that when we can see the humor in our situation, we are playing an observant role. We are standing beside our painful situation when we can laugh at it. It gives us a chance to stick a pin in negative emotions and choose actions that are coping and positive. It’s hard to wallow or ruminate in negative emotions when you’re seeing the absurdity in your situation.

It does take a bit of psychological distance to see humor in our situations. Psychiatrist Victor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning that it is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human makeup, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds. So may you find some measure of humor in your tough situations.

That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luis Congdon talked about being homeless at age 5 and how poetry saved him – so if you have had a tough childhood, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Antoinette Martin who was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She explains why we should Hug everyone we know.

I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.

100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years

This week’s memoir is: The Hiding Place

The Hiding Place was written in 1971 by Corrie ten Boom. This Dutch watchmaker became a heroine of the Resistance, a survivor of Hitler’s concentration camps, and one of the most remarkable evangelists of the 20th century. She and her family risked their lives to help Jews and underground workers escape the Nazi’s. For their work, they were sent to Nazi death camps. Only Corrie among her whole family survived to tell the story of how faith ultimately triumphs over evil. Check out The Hiding Place and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.

Click here to learn more about this memoir and all of the most important memoirs of the past 200 years…

About: Carol Graham

Carol Graham is the author of a fast-paced award-winning memoir, Battered Hope, the blog Never Ever Give Up Hope, and a regular contributor to numerous magazines. She has a monthly column entitled Matters of the Heart and has been published in several anthologies including a best-seller. In 2015, Carol received the Woman of Impact Award from Focus on Women Magazine and Author of the Year for her memoir, Battered Hope.
Carol Graham is a charismatic speaker whose stories bring hope. She inspires transformation and healing by using her own compelling life experiences to engage and connect on a deep emotional level. Through laughter and tears her audience learns how to move forward without denying the past.

Carol hosts a bi-weekly talk show Never Ever Give Up Hope in which she interviews people with remarkable and heart-warming stories of how they conquered overwhelming obstacles and achieved success. Never Ever Give Up Hope has an international audience in over 140 countries.

In addition to motivational speaking, hosting a talk show and writing, Carol owns and operates two jewelry stores, has been a certified health coach for 35 years, is a wife, mother, grandmother and together with her husband have rescued over 30 dogs.

Links:

LIFE STYLE BLOG: http://batteredhope.blogspot.com
PODCAST BLOG: http://neverevergiveuphopenet.blogspot.com
AMAZON: MEMOIR – http://amzn.to/1wEwEsN
BOOK TRAILER: https://youtu.be/1DHgrrLDpa4
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/BatteredHope
FACEBOOK : http://www.facebook.com/carol.graham.90834776
PINTEREST: http://www.pinterest.com/batteredhope/
GOOGLE +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+CarolGraham/posts
LINKEDIN: www.linkedin.com/pub/carol-graham/71/b2/446
GOODREADS: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/444146.Carol_Graham