EP 41 Why Am I so Burnt Out, Stressed, Overwhelmed, Restless? Let's Talk About the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

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EP 41 Why Am I so Burnt Out Stressed Overwhelmed Restless Let's Talk About the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Get the Book: Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

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For my yoke is easy. And my burden is light. Jesus said that in Matthew 11, verses 28 through 30 today, we're going to talk about how to make our burdens more lights from the teachings of what Jesus said. Let's get into it. Hey ladies, before we get into this episode to talk about how his yoke is easy and his burden is light and why we get so stuck about living that out. I wanted to let you know about a new free gift that I have for you. It's called the BIG IIDEAA journal. It is a 26 page journal that you can download and use and go through the Wholly made life, short assessment, and start to go through some journaling prompts and things that will help you start on your journey to going through your identity, identifying areas in your life that you might need to change, defining it, embracing where you are, where you're going and activating, coming up with an action plan and then assessing, okay.

Thinking about, okay, what is it that's going well and what needs to change? So I've got a journal for you that I created. You can go to https://bit.ly/IIDEAAjournal And that will get you your free copy of this journal that I created for you guys. And this is just for my Holy made life ladies. So I wanted to let you know, also that link will be in the show notes and you'll be able to grab that. But I wanted to let you know about that free gift for you. I just released it. And I wanted to make sure that you guys were the first to get a copy because after all you guys are my girls, you're the ones that made it for all right. All right, let's get into it.

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Hey, what's up successful mama, listen, I know you are a success driven woman, so I know you're successful in your job or your career, your business. But I also know that there's something going on in your heart or your mind where you're feeling a little Unbound or a little off as a mom or as a wife, or maybe in another area of your life. Are you unsure of what this thing is? You've been feeling, but you know, there's something missing. You're wanting something more. Do you wish there was a way for you to feel balanced in all areas of your life? Since what if you could go from feeling restless or burnt out overwhelmed or stressed out all the time to actually restoring the joy and feeling balanced in all areas of your life? Well, let me tell you, I have felt this way. We've all felt this way sometimes where we've just been off or felt unbalanced, but it's when you're stuck and you can't really get past it when you might need to reach out for some help.

And that's where I'm here for you. Listen, I believe you're not created to do one thing well in your life, you're not just your job or your title or your salary. You're not, not just a mom, a wife or a sister. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you're made to lead in all areas of your whole life. God has a specific intention for you in all areas of your life. You deserve to have joy and feel completely balanced in all parts of your life. You can actually feel successful as a man and a wife and a friend and at work. So are you ready to reclaim it your whole life? And it's happened to God-sized fulfillment in all areas of your life. Well, friend, I have something for you. I can help you find that balance again and help you rediscover. God's big idea for you and your life.

We're going to go through an hour session where we are going to get you balanced. We're going to fix the foundation of your Wholly Made Life. And we're going to go through my framework of idea, which is identity, identify, define, embrace, and activate. We're going to go through that entire framework to get you back to where you feel equipped to lead a balanced life in all areas of your life. Okay, we are going to do this thing together. So I encourage you today to get over to my email [e-mail] so that we can talk about scheduling a coaching session for you, where I can help you find that balance again. Okay. All right, guys, I will see you on the inside of the episode. Let's go, come to me all year, who are weary and burdened, and I will give you, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for, I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy. And my burden is light. Jesus said that in Matthew 11, verses 28 through 30 today, we're going to talk about how to make our burdens more lights from the teachings of what Jesus said. Let's get into it. Hey ladies, before we get into this episode to talk about how his yoke is easy and his burden is light and why we get so stuck about living that out. I wanted to let you know about a new free gift that I have for you. It's called the BIG IIDEAA journal. It is a 26 page journal that you can download and use and go through the Wholly made life, short assessment, and start to go through some journaling prompts and things that will help you start on your journey to going through your identity, identifying areas in your life that you might need to change, defining it, embracing where you are, where you're going and activating, coming up with an action plan and then assessing, okay.

Thinking about, okay, what is it that's going well and what needs to change? So I've got a journal for you that I created. You can go to https://bit.ly/IIDEAAjournal And that will get you your free copy of this journal that I created for you guys. And this is just for my Holy made life ladies. So I wanted to let you know, also that link will be in the show notes and you'll be able to grab that. But I wanted to let you know about that free gift for you. I just released it. And I wanted to make sure that you guys were the first to get a copy because after all you guys are my girls, you're the ones that made it for all right. All right, let's get into it.

Welcome back to this episode of Wholly Made Life. And I am excited to share with you today about a book that I recently read. It is so amazing. Okay. So the title of this book is called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and it's by John Mark Comer. So the first quote that he has in the book is it is a scripture and it is come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for, I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. This is what Jesus says in Matthew 11 verses 28 through 30. So this book is all about hurry, the hurriedness and the busy-ness of our lives. And I just want to read a little bit more and I will put a link in the show notes to this book.

You can find it anywhere on Amazon. It's an audio book. I've listened to it a couple of times on audible. So I will put a link to this book because I think if you are anything, like I am the busy-ness is such a distraction in our lives. And I want to talk and I want to talk about it because it's about time that we get okay with eliminating the hurry in our life. So he says this on page two of his book. My life is so fast and I like fast I'm type a I'm driven. I get it done type of guy, but we're all past that night. Now I work six days a week early to late, and it's still not enough time to get it all done worse. I feel hurried like I'm tearing through each day. So busy with life that I'm missing out on one more on the moment and what is life, but a series of moments.

So he talks about hurry and busy-ness and talks about, is this the way of Jesus is this who I'm actually becoming? He talks about all of the focus on being busy and hurried and out on the actual moments of our day, he talks about always being in a hurry, rushing to become somebody that he doesn't even like. He doesn't want this in his life. And I don't think that you do either. And so this book is all about eliminating hurry. So he talks about an inventory that we can take. And I'm telling you, this book was life-changing. I'm going to have to read it again. I've listened to it twice. And I'm about to go through the written part of the book. But here are 10 symptoms that John Mark Homer says that might indicate that you are a victim or a participator you're in the life of being hurried.

All right. Number one is irritability. Number two is yeah. Hypersensitivity. Number three is restlessness. Number four is workaholism. I know none of you have ever heard of that one before. Right? number five is emotional numbness. That's a really good one. Number six is out of order priorities. Number seven is lack of care for your body. Number eight is escapist behaviors. Number nine is slippage of spiritual disciplines. And number 10 is isolation. I don't know about you, but I feel like we just hit on every area of our Holy made life pie. If you are in a place where you are feeling irritable or hypersensitive or restless, or you're working way too much, or you are nonstop activity, like you're go, go, go. You can't stop. You feel like you are having to keep a pack schedule. And even when you don't have something to do you feel like you should be doing something emotional numbness is like, when you are numb to the things going on around you, like example.

When is the last time that you remember laughing did seriously? When you think about your day, do you recall laughing and feeling joyful today out of border priorities? Yes. That is their lack of care for your body. Oh my goodness. How many of us are in such a hurry that we grab a quick bite to eat on the way home from the fast food restaurant? We don't remember the last time we had a healthy home cooked meal. You know, we are living on coffee and diet sodas with caffeine, maybe we're drinking bangs or some other type of energy drink. What about the fact that escapist behaviors? I can raise hand on this one that I used my workaholism to escape the places or the things that I felt less competent in. Maybe you're just so tired that you don't choose to do things that would impact others positively, or maybe create that quality time that your husband is looking for. So you, you turn to whatever your distraction of choices like Netflix or social media,

I don't know about you, but it was,

It would be a really neat experiment. I think if you wrote down every single time you picked up your phone to check an email or check to check a social media site, literally that's an assignment, okay. For the next day, the next 24 hours, when you get up, I want you to make it tick in a notebook or however you keep track, but make a little tick of how many times you pick up your phone in idle times where you check social media, where you check an email, where you go back and see how many likes you got on your story, or how many viewers you got. I guarantee you it's much more time than you probably even realize is going to that. Okay. Number nine, talking about the slippage of spiritual disciplines. I don't know about you, but when you're in a hurry, when you get over busy, the things that are truly life-giving like prayer, like reminding yourself of what God says about you using biblical principles.

And the only way you do that is by opening up the BI B L E. Those things tend to fall off. What about those Wednesday nights? At least for me, where it's church night and you are just so swamped or so busy that you're like, ah, maybe I'll just watch online instead of getting yourself to the church building where you'll be surrounded by other people who you love and love you. And you can gather together in a praise and worship. Those are the things that tend to slip. He goes into an entire chapter and maybe it's more than that on the Sabbath. That's a whole 'nother section that I won't go into, but, and then finally, isolation, isolation, w you know, when we are feeling hurried and busy, it is like a domino effect. We start to feel disconnected from God, which makes us feel disconnected from others, which makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and who we are and who we're becoming.

And then we forget to talk to God. It's like this vicious cycle. So if you were to think about these things and score yourself in irritability, hypersensitivity, restlessness, workaholism, emotional numbness, out of order priorities, lack of care for your body, escape, his behavior, slippage of spiritual disciplines or isolation, that's 10 items. How many of those would you raise your hand and say, yep, that's me. Yep. I'm guilty of that one. Yep. I fallen into this other one. How many? Five, seven, eight, ten one. I'm telling you right now that when things feel a little out of control or a little unbalanced, a little overwhelming, I can raise my hand for all 10 of these. If you can raise your hand for at least half of these, then you may be in that may be an indicator that you may be living a hurried busy. So as far as this book, first thing as we always talk about ladies is awareness, personal awareness.

You gotta be aware of what's going on. You got to stop long enough to recognize where a problem might be. You know, when you're feeling that restlessness or that overwhelm or that stress, or you're just not finding the joy and things that you used to anymore, or maybe you're thinking back on your day or maybe a week and thinking, man, have I even laughed about anything? If you're in a place where you're feeling that way, number one, get this book, it will change your life. Number two, grab a coaching session with me. This is exactly what I worked through with my clients. So grab a session@[e-mail]. These are the things that we are identifying and defining. We're embracing where we are. We're coming up with an action plan to activate to make a difference in these areas. And then we are assessing to make sure that we are staying on the right track and evaluating to make changes as we need to.

Okay. So I just want to remind you of that, but this book I'm telling you is absolutely amazing. So let me give you a quick cliff notes of what some of the solutions are that John Mark Comer, the author of the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry recommends. So the first solution is to discuss time. We all have the same amount of time every single day. So what he talks about is to slow down and manage your time effectively. The greatest thing that in the world that we can do is to become aware of what we're doing every single day, so that we can manage our time in a way that is beneficial to really work towards who it is we are intended to become. You know, we did all throughout my time, working in mental health and in social worker arenas, we did what we called time studies.

And I can remember the groans now when it was time to do our time studies. So this is where for a certain block of time, let's say you work an eight hour shift and it is every five minutes or every 15 minutes. You have to label what you did during that block of time. And you have to do that for your whole shift. And usually we would do it for an entire week. So if you work a five day work week in an eight hour shift, then you would have to every 15 minutes label what it was you were doing. And I will tell you those people that were being honest in their times, it was eye opening because there were so many times where you would look at those results and you would see that, wow, you're spending so much time on emails. You're not getting to any of the actual day-to-day operations that you should be participating in.

Or there were so many different times where let's say you had a 15 minute block and you would have several different labels during that 15 minutes, it showed a lot of distractibility or you were not managing your time. Well, so you would start an email and then get interrupted with a phone call and then somebody would be at your door and then you would go get a glass of water, and then you would come back and eat a snack. And then you would answer the phone. And then you would answer an email. And, you know, by the end of an eight hour shift, it's like my goodness, what did I do all day? So if you have never done a time study of sorts, I would take as many, much as it feels kind of annoying. It is so eye opening to take a look at what you're actually doing in a day.

So from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, I would say one of the first things that you should do is just do a time study. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but just keep a little record of what you're doing. And maybe you do it an hour blocks. So it's a little bit easier to manage, but that will at least give you an idea of what you're doing throughout the day. Okay. The second thing he talks about is the secret, the easy yoke, and, Oh my goodness, this was so good. You guys, this is on, this starts on page 75 of his book. I'm telling you, you guys have to get this book. Okay. He talks about the easy yoke and he talks about Jesus saying that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. So really what does that mean?

It talks about the way that Jesus shouldered the weight of life, living as a human being, walking this earth and experiencing thing that we have experienced. So when we think about ourselves, it's the way that we shoulder the weight of our lives through marriage, through to force through prayer, through money, through sex, through conflict, conflict, through government, through a law, all of those things that we are all shouldering as a weight. And if you think about what we've had to shoulder through the weight of life, this past year in 2020, and halfway into this year, it's the way in which we carry that. It's the way in which we shoulder that weight.

Yeah. Two oxygen that's yoke together to pull a cart, to plow a field. The yoke on the oxygen is how they shoulder that load. What made Jesus unique wasn't that he had, it was that he had an easy yoke think about it. And I have never thought about this scripture in this way before, but yes, I know that, you know, he's got an easy yoke and his burdens are light. I never really attributed to it's because of the way he shoulders that weight. And he's calling us to shoulder the weight, but to give him the weight that we're carrying in our lives so that he can shoulder it for us, shoulder it in a way that will make it light. I just, I was, I was blown away by the way that he talked about the easy yoke and the light Brown that Jesus carries.

So let me read this again to you. The scripture come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for, I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy. And my burden is light. This is from Matthew 11. And I'm paraphrasing a little bit. Think about that. This is like an invitation from Jesus to live, how Jesus is calling us to live. It's like saying, are you tired? Are you burnt out? Are you overwhelmed? Are you stressed out? Are you restless? Come to me, daughter, come to me, get away with me and I'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. I'll show you how to rest. Walk with me and work with me. Watch how I do it.

Jesus is saying to us and inviting us, learn from him, learn the rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me. Stay with me, learn from me. Talk with me, walk with me, be at peace with me. And you will learn to live freely and lightly too. That's what God's saying. That is what this author is reminding us. It's an invitation for us. We're tired. We're burnt out. We're stressed. Yes. We're stuck. We're going through our to-do lists. We are on caffeine just to make it through the day. What if we didn't have to live like that? What if we were able to give ourselves permission? Not to be hurried, not to have to check off that last thing before bed. I mean, what if we accepted this invitation to allow him to show us how to shoulder the weight of life so that it is a light burden?

My goodness, that's good right there. You can't tell me that's not good, but here's the thing we want that life. We want that easy life. We want that easy yoke. We want that burden to be light. We want to be able to shoulder that weight of light so that it is light, but Jesus didn't just live that life. He wasn't just about that life. He lived and walked and talked a lifestyle. It's like, we want that life, but not willing to adopt the lifestyle behind it. That's what this author says. And yes, that might give you a little spiritual spanking or a little personal awareness. But that's the truth. Sometimes we make things so much more difficult because we're not really working intentionally to adopt the lifestyle that he modeled for us. And not only that, he modeled this lifestyle, but he gave us equipment that we are to use to help us create this lifestyle.

The equipment is the yoke. A yoke is a work instrument. It's a thing that helps us bear the responsibilities that we have in life. It's a way that he can help us use a piece of equipment. Metaphorically called a yoke that helps us shoulder, the weight of life in a bearable way. You guys, the ticket is not to think about an easier life because he never said that we'd have an easy life. He says, when the trials and tribulation comes, when the struggle comes, we will be prepared, right? He will give us what we need while he has said to us, yes, that he has an easy yoke. He has an easy and a light burden. He is not saying that we're going to have an easy life. He's saying that he's given us the equipment to shoulder the responsibilities and bear the responsibilities that we have in our life.

That can be hard sometimes. Yeah. Revelation. That's what this is. Okay. So he does say that there are four solutions and I'm not going to give you all the details around these, because I know that this book for my listeners, you ladies, that are sitting here listening to the Wholly made life. I know this book is for you. So I just want you to go get it. And I don't get a daggone thing for you going to get this book, other than knowing that this book is going to be a gift to you and your life. Okay. All right. So the four solutions that he mentioned, and you're going to have to go get the book to dive in, to see what these mean. All right. Number one, silence and solitude. Number two, the Sabbath number three, simplicity. And number four is I lost it slowing.

Okay, ladies, I hope this was helpful. And yes, I just dropped the mic and like slam the book shut because this book is like a mic drop moment. Okay, ladies, I urge you go out and get this book. It will be such a gift to your life. And like I said before, if you are working through these kinds of things and you're feeling stuck, jump over to [e-mail], let me know that you're ready for a coaching session and we will walk through this thing together. All right, ladies, I will see you on the next episode of Wholly made life, where we can live it out together and live whole wholly.

Hey, before you go, I'd love for you to hop over to my podcast and give me a review. And you know, I'd love five stars. That's how we can share this thing with other women, just like us, your five stars and written review really helps me get the word out. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your Insta and Facebook stories. And I'll give you a shout out right back, leaving a review and sharing this episode is the best way you can show me some luck. Thanks so much. And I'll see him the next episode. And remember your smile is like a boomerang, throw one at somebody and it'll come right back.