EP 25 Why Boundaries will Save your Life- Crucial to Success- Visiting the Grand Canyon- Revelation What God has for Busy Moms, Daughters- Family Chat

Wholly Made Life™- ReClaim your Whole Life, Tap into God-Sized Fulfillment for the Success Driven Woman, Mama, Wife, Sister

EP 25 Why Boundaries are Crucial to Your Success Visiting the Grand Canyon Revelation about What God Has for Busy Moms Daughters Family Chat

Hey, welcome back to this special episode. And this is an episode where I'm going to do a little chat with my sister and my mom. And I just reflect on the fact that those boundaries are meant for our good, and you know, if you want to bring that into your inner life and what kind of got asks of us or the rules and regulations that we can sometime feel constricted by, we can think to ourselves, these are for our good, so good. These boundaries are for our good. So when we stray outside of that, we're really going outside of that safety net, that protection that God wants for us. And I mean, I had a visceral reaction to seeing people creeping along that edge, even when I was holding tightly onto a fence post kind of peering over my legs were jelly. And I didn't even want my nephew kind of like leaning against the thing. It was terrifying and I think to myself, why would I then, you know, if, if that's what I feel in the temporal world with my temporal life, why would I put my eternity on at, to put it at risk by stepping outside of the boundaries that God has, has put for me?

Podcast: http://bit.ly/whollymadelifepodcast

IG: @angietoninirogers

Community: http://bit.ly/whollymadelifefbgroup

Angie’s Coaching Menu: Email: [e-mail]

Wholly Made Life™ Short Assessment: http://bit.ly/shortassessment

Podcast Episode Updates: https://angie.gr8.com/

Interested in learning how to start your own podcast? Take a look at this course to learn everything you need to know! Ppu.atrogers.com

We took a trip to Arizona this week and we've been here to visit my oldest Clayton. It was about time for mama bear to lay eyes on her Cub. So that's what we did. And it was awesome. We surprised him. He was really, really surprised, but I just wanted to take a little time to have a little chat about some of our experiences and go from there. So Chrissy is my sister. So Chrissy, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Well, hello. I am Chrissy and I am 41. I'm a stay at home, mom of five kiddos. My oldest is 18 and my youngest is eight. I have four girls and one young man, boy.

So you're a girl mom with one boy.
I'm A girl with one boy and I am a formal homeschooling mom. I stopped homeschooling about four years ago, but I had homeschooled for probably about 10 years. All including maybe a little longer with some stragglers that I kept home for a little while after my oldest went to school, I, like I said, stayed home with my kids and support my husband, who is, who runs a tech company. So he's extremely busy all the time and outside of COVID doesn't or is not home super often because he is all over the world. So it's important for me to stay home and kind of keep things grounded. Yeah. All right, cool. Yeah, that's my SIF.

Y'all okay, mom,

This is mom. Hi, my name's Debbie and I am retired. I've been retired about, I guess since 19 or 20 and since 2014. Oh yeah, it's been that long. Yeah, it's been that long and I retired to actually take care of my mom and for about four years. So she was about 90 when I retired which was a great experience and maybe another podcast, but let's see. Before I retired, I was an office manager for an assisted on national, well actually international assisted living company. So I've got the two girls. Do, you know, Andrea and Chrissy and are their younger brother is a Molly son. So that's about it. That's about me. Yeah.

And you're right now, you're living the boating life.

My husband and I have had boats and we've taken some really good trip. We bought a boat up in the Chesapeake Bay and traveled down the intercoastal all the way down to Florida and stayed there for a winter. And then we took it on around to a little place called Demopolis, Alabama. And we've stayed there for several years now. We finally sold the boat and bought another one because my husband couldn't stand it. He had to, he had to have another boat. So now we're going to have a new adventure up in Lake Michigan for awhile.

That's really cool. Yeah. Yeah. So

My, my children think I'm a little bit crazy, but other than that, yeah,

That's not true. It's just a different lifestyle living the boating lifestyle or sail building and that kind of thing. It's just a whole nother lifestyle, so right. But it's been an interesting winter for you because before now you guys have been gone to warmer climates and instead of having to live through ice storms and snow and all that. So this was your first winter. So coming out to Arizona during this week was awesome. I don't know if you guys have ever visited or if you live in Arizona, I want to come visit you. So email me and we can split the visit, but I love Arizona. This is my second time here. I love it. What did you guys think about Arizona? We're in Phoenix, by the way.

It's wonderful. It's it's just glorious is Andrea said, yeah.

Chrissy said that a million times is glorious. It has been glorious.

Yeah. It's great to get out of the great white North was my home for her is my home. And this winter has not been super kind as far as snow and weather is concerned. So the warm, glorious sunshine was very welcome.

Yeah. And I think it too especially after the season that we've had, where we've been so isolated and separated, that's a whole nother issue, but being able to spend this time with just us, the, you know, my sister and my mom and spending time together and beautiful, just beautiful, trained to look at beauty or beautiful landscaping such a different thing that we can get to see. And then I think that just goes into, you've got to do things to take care of yourself and spend that time with family. I mean, for me, I'm in that season where family time has been so important and I'm trying to really maximize the opportunities I have since I'm not working full time right now. It's been the first time in really in my life since I'm able to take this time. So I, you know, had I been working full time, I wouldn't have been able to take this opportunity. So it's been really cool.

It's also been cool being here with our, with my oldest grand child and just loving on him for three days just by itself. It's you, that's a whole nother thing because he's learned so much about being around three women.

Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. The whole time he was like, you guys have deep talks about everything. Like there's nothing that came up that you guys didn't turn into a deep talk. I'm like, yeah, welcome to, you know, womanhood. Okay.

It's nice for me because I live far away from my family of origin. And so yeah, it was nice to spend time with my sister-in-law, who I do not get to spend time with very often. Maybe the last time I saw them as June. So

Yeah. Very good. Yeah.

All right. So we went to the grand Canyon which was just breathtaking. Amazing. Okay. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about, because for me every time, like this is my second time going. Cause I went when we dropped Clayton off the first time for college, but the first time I went, I was just taken aback by how vast and majestic and just breathtaking it was. And I just also in relation to how small I am in this world and how big God is. And even though God is so big and the world is so big and I feel so small that it's, you're still meant in purpose to make a big, huge world changing impact, even as small as we are. So that was one of my revelations that I had when I first went. So you guys talk about what you guys thought about that grand Canyon Chrissy. Wow.

So aside from walking up and just, you, you kind of walk up sort of an incline and you don't really know exactly what to expect, except what you've seen, you know, in pictures or whatever, and you walk up and all of a sudden it's there and it almost makes you weak in the knees, just the vast majesty of it. But one thing that I just kind of came to my mind was the value of boundaries. So when you're walking along the rim of the grand Canyon, there are many places that are fenced along the walkway, and there are many places that are not, and you saw people creeping out along the edges to get a better view or, you know, scrambling down essentially the face of a cliff to try to get, you know, that cool picture or whatever. And we came to know that there have been many, many deaths of people doing that just slipping.

And I just reflect on the fact that those boundaries are meant for our good, and you know, if you want to bring that into your inner life and what kind of got asks of us or the rules and regulations that we can sometime feel constricted by, we can think to ourselves, these are for our good, so good. These boundaries are for our good. So when we stray outside of that, we're really going outside of that safety net, that protection that God wants for us. And I mean, I had a visceral reaction to seeing people creeping along that edge, even when I was holding tightly onto a fence post kind of peering over my legs were jelly. And I didn't even want my nephew kind of like leaning against the thing. It was terrifying and I think to myself, why would I then, you know, if, if that's what I feel in the temporal world with my temporal life, why would I put my eternity on at, to put it at risk by stepping outside of the boundaries that God has, has put for me?

I'm going to tell you right now, I had a lot more joy in my life, stepping away from that fence. I could still see the absolute gorgeous beauty, and it was still extremely moving. There's a verse in Psalms that says, leave me to a rock that is higher than I, and that is the verse that kept going into my mind. And that kept grounding my spirit. And I just was so grateful Lord that you lead me there, that you set my feet firmly on a rock that is higher than I, it gives you vision. It gives you visibility. It lets you see clearer, you know, see things from afar. It's just great. So all of that was a little muddled, but that's my thoughts.

That's that was beautiful. That was amazing. So good. I mean that to think about boundaries being something that keeps us safe and you know, I've talked about building those boundaries and keeping those boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable or even when it feels a little constricting or even when it feels like you might hurt somebody else's feelings, but those boundaries are there for us to thrive and to succeed and wow. What a good, what a good revelation. That was awesome.

Well, you all pretty much said it all. I mean, and what I would like to say is that my daughters are amazing. [inaudible] We get it from our mama? Oh, well they just teach me, they teach me things all the time. Each, each one of them in their own way. And my son is teaching me as well. So it's,

It's just from my standpoint of being a, you know, an older parent of older children, you can relax in the older part [inaudible] retiree. Yes, yes. What I'm trying to say is I learn from them every day and that was beauty. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Well I think it's just, it's a good thing to just, first of all, always reflect on everything going on in your life, but when you have an opportunity to reflect on something as vast, and if you haven't been to the grand Canyon, I know that you've seen pictures. It does nothing to the justice of what it is that you will experience in person. I mean, I've been now twice and I would go again and again and again, it just is such a great reminder of how big our God is. And I love that what you said, Chrissy. That was really good. So it's cool

All to, to think of the grand Canyon and think, you know, you've seen it and sometimes we have a tendency to be like, okay, check. You know, for me, this is a bucket list item for me, this is something that I have just dreamed about doing. Now. I will say, I did not want to do this, or I do want to do this with my children and my family. I do. And I always have, you know, for a long time, I will say, I'm very hesitant to do that at the moment because it's somewhat terrifying seeing the absolute sheer drop-offs right. So, so we'll see how it went and where that happens or when that happens. But I will say like when I was thinking about the grand Canyon, like since I've been there, it's like, there was so many things I wanted to explore.

There were so, so much that was untapped. You know, I wanted to go down in there to kind of see what it was like from all the different perspectives I wanted to, you know, take a Jeep tour down and like, just get like the guides experience and understand, you know, more about it. I wanted to see the river and the bottom of the Canyon. I went to hike in there. I'm wanting to do all those things. And I just, there were so many avenues you could take to explore the same thing. Right. And it was very different. You know, my sister-in-law before I left, asked me, are you going to get on, you're going to take him donkey ride down into the Canyon at two, which I answered a hard pass. No, I'm not doing that. So that's not necessarily one of the things I wanted to try, but I don't know. I think there's kind of an interesting thing to reflect on there. Like, you know, you can do something, but there's always more depths. You can plumb, I guess there's always more avenues you can take to explore it from a different angle to, to see new beauty, to see, you know, with fresh eyes. So I'm excited to come back and to do those things and spend some time there if I can. Yeah.

Well, and you brought up fear kind of. Well, that was what, just what I was thinking about when you're thinking about cause it's, I mean, your brain tries to protect you. And so when you're on that edge, even if there's a fence there, your brain can't, it's like it can't take in everything that you're seeing and it can't figure out what to tell your body to do. So your stomach is in the pit and your legs are jelly. You know, and you're, you're being a lot more careful in you're walking a lot more carefully, obviously, hopefully, I mean, we were, but it's at the same time, it's understanding what those boundaries are and living fully within those boundaries and not allowing fear to stop you from taking those steps and taking those actions and enjoying and taking in all of the wonder of what's happening around you.

So making sure that you are keeping the fear in perspective to the opportunity you have to experience what it is that you're experiencing and for the grand Canyon, it's, you know, yes, you're going to have jelly legs. Yes. You have a little bit of that pit in your stomach of all those what ifs, but you are still enjoying that, that experience within the boundaries that are safe for you to do so. So you know, God is a very good God and he gives a lot of grace in mercy. And we know that fear is not of him. Now that doesn't mean that he wants us to make stupid choices or do things that are

Risky. There's a type of fear that God put in us. And it's that sort of it's like that fear where you snatch your child back from a road that he's going to cross without looking that rear, when you say you need to come away from that edge right now, because that's like an innate thing that is a healthy thing that God gives us that like response so that we can remain, you know, in that safe environment. Right.

Wisdom and discernment are the words that I think of when you're talking about that. So yeah,

There's something else just popped into my head is it gives, I found myself covering other people, strangers with some prayers like gods, you know, it's like, they're walking to the edge and you can just tell they're not respecting their boundaries basically. And you know, it gives you a chance to send out some prayers

For people that may need them for whatever purpose.

Yeah, that's right.

I definitely found myself doing that as well. Yes. That and turning away and hiding my eyes when I thought people were being ex or especially risky. Yeah. It was hard.

Yeah. Well, and I think sometimes we forget that we need God and we need his direction. We need the Holy spirit to guide us and lead us. And you know, when we are, it's kinda, it reminds me of ego a little bit. Like we are thinking that we are more in strength or more powerful than we are. We're bigger than we are and we still need to be reverent. And we still need to succumb to the fact that we still are choosing to walk this path for God, for his glory. And you know, just the need to still walk within those boundaries. And within the structure of everything is for his glory, not our own gratification, not our own pushing the boundaries to see how far we can go to the edge or how low, you know I'm having trouble putting that into words I think. But

I think it gives you a pause to ask yourself, you know, if you find yourself wanting that next thrill, that next thing that may or may, may be outside of what God is asking of you or those boundaries. I think it gives you pause to think, you know, let me explore that. Why am I thinking that, what am I after two to really explore the purity of your heart and the purity of your intentions, and then ask, you know, invite God into that and just say, you know, I'm feeling this way, or I don't understand why you ask this of me. You know, if you're in a particular season in life where something that you know is one of his statutes or what he asks of you is harder. You have to sometimes invite him there to say, okay, Lord kind of lead me here, ask me, or, you know, speak to me here.

But ultimately if you want to live in the Lord, I have found personally that sometimes you just have to acquiesce and say, you know, I don't understand this, but your thoughts are above my thoughts and your ways are above my way. So I'm going to surrender my knowledge. And I think that's kind of what you were pointing to, which is like your own yeah. Thought processes, your own knowledge, your own knowledge. You have to surrender that sometimes. And so that's kind of when you were saying that, that's what I was thinking like yeah. Sometimes we have to just say, okay, I don't know this, so Lord, I invite you here to help me, but for now I'm going to surrender that so I can continue to walk in your ways and walk with you. Right.

Yeah. That's good. So what else, anything else that you guys can think of that would be important to share about this experience with the grand Canyon?

Well, I don't know if this has any value to this particular podcast, but there has my sister-in-law, I have a Bible study at my house and my sister-in-law encouraged everyone last year during 2020 to make a list of 10 things that you wanted to be bold and sort of ask God for you wanted not like to test him, but just to say, you know, Lord, I'm really praying into these dreams maybe, or these 10 things. One of mine was kind of funny, but one of mine, so two times in my life, I have seen the sky at night in such brilliance that my mom used the word. It was just an absolute blanket of stars. Right. so that's happened two times in my life and you have to be in a very, very dark and pretty rural place for it and a clear sky for it to really just be as brilliant as it is.

Right. Do we get that? It can be kind of encourage you if you've never seen it to actually pray for this because it is mind blowing. So one of the things on my list last year was I wanted to see the sky like that. Again, stars have always spoken to me. It's just been something that kind of feeds my soul nature in general. Always does. I always meet God, very intently in nature. He speaks to me loudly there. So this was one of my things. So as we're driving back from the grand Canyon, it's really, really dark during some of those roads. There are no streetlights. It is dark, dark. So I saw the star and the skies were clear. I saw the star starting to peak out and I started getting excited and I'm like real, like just every time, minute, I'm like pressing my face to the windshield with my hands, like cupped around my eyeballs so that I can block out the light of the dashboard and everything else.

And as it comes, it's just magnificent the whole star, the whole sky breaks out in these in these brilliant, brilliant, like blanket of stars. And so my soul is just kind of soaring at this point. And I'm like praying to Lord. I'm like, you know, I, I just, I kept saying, I gotta pull over. Like, but there just was no safe place to pull over. You can't do that. It's like 75 miles an hour on that road, you know, I'm minimum. And so I'm, I'm, I'm praying. I'm like, Lord, thank you. This is just, it's beautiful. Like even though I can't stop and like just lay there and just soak it in. I know. And so in my heart, I heard like this isn't the last time you're going to see this. Like I just wanted you to know that I heard your prayer.

And I was like, it was like, he was just smiling watching me look at this because he could see my heart storing. And I just, the word that kept coming is abundance. Like, Lord, you love me and abundance. Like this was for me, like I wanted this so much. And it was something I asked you specifically for a silly little thing, you know, in reality, but you gave it and you're like, that's not all it's not over. You'll you'll, you know, this will happen again. Basically. I don't know. That was my, that was my little extra. That's all

Awesome. I mean, I love that. And that's so important for this conversation because it is about, you know, making your dreams plain, by writing them down, you write the vision, make it plain. And you did that. You, you, you talked about asking boldly for what it is that you want and dream. I mean, God's put those desires and those dreams in our heart and whatever he's put into our heart is going to be something that he's going to give us an abundance and he's going to give us opportunities, but we have to stop to look for them. We have to trust that he's going to give those to us, but we also have to do our part. It's not just about sitting around and waiting for God. You know, you could have driven in that car the whole way home and not ever even asked about we've got something happening outside of our window here, but so sorry for the extra noise, but you could have just driven and not even sought out an opportunity to make that dream become a reality. Now he made it become a reality and he was speaking to you through that, but you had to be open and intentional about looking for it. Yeah. So that's, that's so good. We have to do our part in that. So,

And I will say I had to look a little foolish doing it, like my whole face with like plus pressed the windshield. It was doing the same thing.

Yeah. But that's a good point because sometimes we, you know, that reminds me of the huge thing I've done recently where I'm, I'm, you know, leaving a six figure salary to follow what the Holy spirit told me to do, which was to give it up to him as an offering. And he would show me what's next. And I had no idea what's next, but, so that looks foolish to a lot of people. I mean, it looked foolish to me, but as God's speaking to me and telling me to do that, then you have to be bold and courageous and, and take that step. And whether it's something like wanting to see a blanket of stars and the pitch black again which that speaks to, you know, you're in a dark rule, rural cold place, but there's still light for, to be seen. That was, that's so good to that preaches, you know, on its own as well, but we still have to do our part. We have to take those steps and that's, you know, you would not have had that experience. Had you not been intentional about taking that step? And that's the other thing too about writing things down is that it, it, it does something to us to be more intentional about taking those steps, to make those things on paper or make those things that we've prayed for a reality in partnership with God.

That's important. It's funny because I'm not a dreamer by nature. I don't. In fact, a lot of the times we'll be doing a Bible study or you'll be talking with friends or you'll be kind of listening maybe to a podcast, you know, someone will say, you know, what are your dreams? What are your dreams? And I'm always like, none. I don't know. I don't have dreams. I'm just not that type of person. I know people that they could tell me, you know, take off 10 things that they big, old, big ideas that they have, that they have dreams about. You know, I'm just not one of them. And my friend and I were having this conversation last Friday and she said, you know, what are your dreams? And I was like, and I told her what I just said, like, I don't dream, but I've been intentionally like, thinking about that over the last week because of that conversation. And, you know, I guess I just wanted to encourage for those of you that are like me, that don't, you know, quote unquote dream, you know, maybe it starts little like that, that blanket of stars, like that is something that was just a deep desire on my part. So anyway, yeah, if you're not, if you're not a dream or that you're not alone.

And I think too, that it's just speaks to each of us are so different that it, he speaks to us and puts those desires and dreams in our heart and in our thoughts and our mind in our experiences in different ways, just like he speaks to us in different ways. You know, you might hear for him as a small whisper or you feel it in your heart, you might hear it in a worship song. You might have it have a dream. I am not, I don't have, he doesn't really speak to me in dreams, but I feel a small whisper sometimes. I, I think most of the time it happens in my mind, I think about something. And then I feel it in my heart, I get kind of this reaction. So he just speaks to us in different ways and all of us have been designed and perfectly made in the way he needs us to be made so that you walk out those dreams and those desires offered his worry. So, yeah. That's important to talk about that. Yeah.

You know, one thing I noticed was when we were talking about with Clayton, you know, he said he never went on hikes. He never, you know, I don't think that he would have naturally just sat there and looked up at the stars, but when you and I were doing it, he leaned over and he started looking and I could tell that he was in all of it himself, you know? And then when we took that height to that park that he had been to, but it never explored, it was like he hit his, all of seeing what he was seeing and now he wants to go hike it. He wants to explore nature more and, and, you know, so the effect that this trip had on him, just to see, I guess God's beauty. I, you know, well, and that's something new. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that's good. Yeah. I think that's good because too, the other thing is that sometimes our dreams aren't for us, they're for other people. So just like, you know, we came to visit him and to kind of lay eyes on him and, and you prepare him for the next couple of months before he gets to come home. And that was a satisfying my own mama bear needs. And but it, some of the things that we talked about, some of the things that we did to experience, he then benefited from that. So it's just important to remember that those desires and dreams that he has given us are not always for us. They're not, it impacts others. Yeah. Yeah. It, you know, we might benefit from it, but it's the, it's those that those dreams and desires and actions and bold, those bold courageous actions that we take based on our desires and dreams are meant for others, sometimes they're meant to impact others. So I'm voicing them too. Yeah. So that's good.

Anything else? This was an awesome little chat. I loved it. I hope that you guys also loved it and, you know, I think it's just to close out. I there's so many things that I reflected upon these last three days, it was packed with a lot of action in a lot of schedules, but it also was just so refreshing to spend time with family and to think about all the things that God has for us. And I just think it's such a good thing to take time and be intentional about the time. So yeah, this noise that we've got going on is distracting. So sorry about that guys. I know, right. They had to start right here on this corner where we're staying, we're staying in this little apartment, so

Yeah. But yeah. Thank you for inviting us to have a conversation and reflect more deeply about our week. It was fantastic. And thanks for inviting me. Yeah. Thank you guys. Thanks to my husband for a whole number four.

I know mine too. All right, guys. So tune in for the next episode and you know, we want to say a quick hello since I've got Chrissy and Mimi on

We want to say a quick hello to Mary grace because Mary grace is Christie's youngest,

Man. She's a big fan of this show. It's the cutest. Yeah.

Ever Mary grace. I love you, baby. So shout out to you now you're on the podcast. Okay. It's so cute. Yes. But anyways, thank you guys for listening and don't forget to hop on over. If you haven't already leave a review, I'd love to hear what you guys thought about this episode of me talking to my sister and my mom about our experiences. So if you liked it, go ahead and put a review in and give us some, give us those five stars and maybe we'll do some more episodes like this. Okay. Thank you guys. Have an awesome day.