Episode 25: Being More of a Parent Than Bio Mum or Dad

Stepmum Space

For stepmum support, tools, workshops and coaching, visit: https://stepmumspace.com
If you’re doing most of the parenting but still feel like you have the least say, this episode will feel painfully familiar — and deeply validating. Sam* shares the emotional, practical, and relational strain of stepping into a role where she is responsible for everything… except the decisions.

In this episode, Katie talks to Sam, stepmum to an 8-year-old girl. Despite the presence of both biological parents, Sam finds herself doing the majority of the childcare, emotional labour and “mumming” work in the household.

Sam opens up about:

• The shock of realising her partner’s parenting story wasn’t entirely accurate
• The conflict that came from her and her partner having very different ideas about childcare
• The pressure to “treat her stepdaughter as her own” while having almost no authority
• Feeling responsible but powerless — a painful combination so many stepmums recognise
• Why, after a 3-year engagement, she still isn’t rushing to get married

Sam speaks with honesty about the love she has for her stepdaughter, the resentment that crept in over time, and the complex role of being the one who does the most while being recognised the least.

A huge thank you to Sam for sharing her story so openly.

Not her real name.

In This Episode We Explore:

• What it’s like to do most of the parenting without the title or authority
• The emotional load stepmums carry when bio parents step back
• The frustration of “treat her like your own” — but “don’t make decisions”
• How misaligned parenting expectations strain stepfamily relationships
• The resentment that builds when responsibility isn’t shared
• Why Sam is pausing before marriage — and what she’s learned
• How stepmums can protect their energy, voice and wellbeing

If You Need Support
Book a free introductory coaching call: https://www.stepmumspace.com/booking
Learn more about Katie’s work: https://www.stepmumspace.com
Keywords:
stepmum doing everything, majority-parenting stepmum, stepmum resentment, no authority as a stepmum, stepmum emotional labour, blended family conflict, stepmum boundaries, overwhelmed stepmum, struggling stepmum, stepmum podcast

Helpful Links:
Stepmum Space website: https://stepmumspace.com
Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 Coaching & Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com
You deserve support, fairness and a voice — especially when you’re the one holding so much together.

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