Episode 343 Melanie's VBAC With a Big Baby + Ways to Avoid PROM

The VBAC Link

“Inhale peace, exhale tension.”

Did you know that the cascade of interventions can not only contribute to a Cesarean but may cause one?

Melanie believes that was the case with her first birth. Her difficult recovery included going to EMDR therapy to help with her PTSD. Her OB/GYN did mention that she would be a great VBAC candidate. Not knowing VBAC was a thing, Melanie’s research began. Cue The VBAC Link!

Melanie vigorously dove into VBAC prep before she was pregnant again. Her journey is one that shows just how powerful intuition and manifestation can be.

Melanie went from having PROM with her first to arriving at the birth center at 7 centimeters and even being able to reach down to feel her bulging bag of waters as her baby began to emerge en caul!

Other talking points in this episode include:

Achieving a VBAC without a doula

Husband support

Birth affirmations

Recommended podcasts and books

Specific ways to avoid PROM

Hypnobirthing by Siobhan Miller

The VBAC Link Blog: 9 VBAC Books We Recommend

The Birth Hour

Down to Birth

Needed Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details

Meagan: Hello, everybody. Happy VBAC Link Podcast day, whatever day it is that you are listening. We are so happy that you are here. We have our friend, Melanie, from Texas. Texas, is that where you are? That’s where my mind is thinking.

Melanie: Yep. Yep. Wiley, Texas just outside Dallas.

Meagan: Perfect and did you have your VBAC in Texas?

Melanie: Yes. In Dallas.

Meagan: In Dallas, okay. We have her sharing her stories with us today you guys. At the end, we’re going to be talking about PROM. Right before we got recording, I was talking about how important I think talking about PROM is which if you haven’t heard lately what PROM means, there are all of these acronyms all over the place when it comes to VBAC birth, but it’s premature rupture of membranes. We are both PROM moms here and so we are very passionate about the topic. If you have had your water break before labor really started and got going in the past, definitely hang on in the end because we are going to be talking more about that and maybe some ways that could or maybe not, we are hoping these are the ways that helped us avoid premature rupture of membranes.

We are going to be talking about that and of course, her beautiful VBAC story. I do have a Review of the Week and this is by milka. It says, “VBAC Podcast Review.” It says, “Hi. I love listening to your podcast. I had an unplanned C-section with my first birth and am preparing for my second birth now. I didn’t know what to do to make sure I didn’t end up with the same situation. Hearing so many women’s stories and experiences validated mine but most importantly, I learned so many tips and ideas to help my VBAC. I had a successful VBAC and now recommend this podcast to all expecting moms. Just such a great no-pressure and enjoyable way to learn.”

I love that she talked about no pressure because that is what this podcast is about. This is a place where people share their stories, where they share information both on VBAC and CBAC, and all topics when it comes to birth. We want you to just be here, be in this space, and have it connect with you how it connects with you and take these women’s stories and these providers who are coming on and the information given and apply it however, it looks for your journey.

Melanie and I were just talking a little bit before the episode about how it just feels so full circle. So many of these Women of Strength who have come on before Melanie here and have shared their experiences and people listening, it really is so impactful. Right, Melanie? You were saying that I was in your ear. We were in your ear and these people’s stories were in your ear doing what? Empowering you.

Melanie: Mhmm. Oh yeah, it’s incredible. It feels very full circle to be here.

Meagan: Yes. We are very excited that you are and you guys, we are going to jump right into her story in just a second.

Okay. The table is yours.

Melanie: Okay, so happy to be here. Meagan, like you said, you guys have been in my ear for over a year so it just feels incredible to be here. As I was listening to these stories, I was always hoping to find that birth story that was like mine just to find out what went wrong with mine and also on the flip side, what did people do? What were people seeing in things that went right and how they were able to get a successful VBAC? I was very motivated and inspired by the podcast. I listened to every episode so hopefully, my two stories out there can hit home with anyone.

But yeah. I’ll start with, of course, the C-section just briefly. I got pregnant in March 2021 so everybody remembers it was COVID times still.

Meagan: Wild times.

Melanie: Wild times. Actually, at the beginning of my pregnancy, my husband wasn’t able to come to the appointments. But thankfully, it being 2021, by halfway he was able to come. That pregnancy, I was really healthy. I ran. I’m a big runner so I ran every day. I had no morning sickness. I was very active. I never even until the very end– I ran the day my water broke and I never had that feeling like I didn’t want to be pregnant.

Not the case the second time as we’ll hear, but the first time—

Meagan: And you do that competitively, right? Did you compete during pregnancy at all?

Melanie: I’ve ran my whole life so I ran cross country and track division one in college. Now, I do more marathons. Yeah. I ran both pregnancies. Not anything too crazy. During the second pregnancy, I did run a half marathon. I was 16 weeks but then it went downhill after that. But yeah. I run pretty competitively. I take it really seriously and it’s a passion of mine.

Yeah, the only thing I got the first time and the second, but I did. I’ve heard it before on the podcast is SPD, symphysis pubic dysfunction. The first pregnancy, so the one I’m talking about, a prenatal chiropractor literally cured it. I had to go back a couple of times because it would get out of alignment again, but for anyone who is suffering from SPD like I was both times, it’s amazing. I would just call them witches because they would literally cure it and it would get me back to running. It was amazing.

So my birth education the first time around, I thought I was educated like so many women here. I read the typical What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I did a podcast but it was more so of what size is your baby? What’s going on in utero? I didn’t listen to many birth stories and I became so obsessed with that the second time. And truly, I feel like you get the best birth education through birth stories because you just get the whole shebang.

We did take a hospital birth class and now I know that a hospital birth class is really just the hospital policies. I remember there was a section that they had mentioned very quickly in passing, “If you’re going to have a C-section, you should take this class. Okay, the next thing.” I thought like so many women, That’s not going to be me. I’m not going to have a C-section. I’m healthy. I feel great.

Most C-sections are not planned so I feel like it really did a disservice to not even mention anything about a C-section in that class, but anyway, I just assumed that you have a baby in the hospital. You get an epidural. You take a nap and then you wake up and you push out a baby. I was not against hospitals or anything. I was not against the epidural or anything like that.

I mentioned that I ran the day my water broke. This was past 40 weeks. 40 weeks came and went. A couple of cervical checks I got I was not dilated at all. They had scheduled a 41-week induction date. When I was checking out at the front desk at the time, I just remember it feeling really, really wrong scheduling that date.

Meagan: Your intuition was speaking right there.

Melanie: 100%, yeah. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time. It was my first baby and everything but when I look back, that just felt so wrong. 41 weeks came and I was supposed to go in at 9:00 PM that night but the interesting thing is that my water broke actually 4 hours before I was supposed to go in. It was 5:00 PM and I was supposed to go in at 9:00. Like you mentioned Meagan, it was PROM so it was a trickle.

I was like, Wait. Am I peeing? What is happening here? No contractions at all. And with the little education I did, I knew that just because your water breaks, it doesn’t mean that you have to go in and you should labor at home as long as possible. However, because I was set to go in and I guess because I was 41 weeks, I called them and I just remember they were like, “No. You’re in labor. Come in.”

I was like, “Okay.”

Meagan: This is labor?

Melanie: Yeah, I was like, “Oh, okay.” So I got to the hospital literally not dilated at all. I was maybe half a centimeter and they inserted the Cervadil at 9:00 PM which hurt really bad because it turns out if you are not dilated, it really hurts to get Cervadil inserted.

Meagan: And if your cervix is posterior, it’s hard for them to get it into your cervix so that can also cause a lot of discomfort.

Melanie: That’s exactly what it was too because I think they had a hard time. I didn’t even think about that. It was probably posterior. Man. Yeah, see? My body just wasn’t ready for that. But contractions did come eventually. I don’t know if Cervadil can cause it or if it was just time. I was going into labor but that was around 1:00 AM. The contractions started to get uncomfortable. I had not practiced coping with contractions at all because I was planning to get an epidural. I never had any inkling of going unmedicated or anything so this is where I think everything went south.

This is where I just think it was the cascade of interventions. First I had fentanyl which I don’t know why because I think I was trying to delay the epidural for whatever reason. I don’t know why. I had fentanyl first. It was awful. It felt like I was so drunk. The room spun and it was terrible.

Then an epidural, which has fentanyl in the epidural. That was fine. After the epidural, of course, you feel amazing, but you are stuck on your back forever. I just think this cascade of interventions, being stuck on my back, not moving, I never ever take medicine as it is. I think my body and my baby just hated all of this. So then eventually, terbutaline was given around 6:00 AM.

Meagan: To stop the contractions.

Melanie: Yep. I think that’s when some decels started happening then they did pull the Cervadil to stop the contractions. There were some decels then yeah, eventually it’s all a little bit fuzzy but at 6:45 AM the decision was made for a C-section. At 8:01, he was born. They called it an emergency C-section and now I look back and I’m like, yes. I do believe that it was needed. However, I’ll never really know but I really think it was caused and also, if it’s an emergency, I understand that they don’t wait hours like they did for me and they usually put you under.

I think it was more unplanned and I look back and I really think it was caused.

Meagan: That is the hard thing to know. A lot of these Cesareans, I would agree with you that they are caused by the cascade of interventions and things like that and then a lot of providers will say “emergent” so there are emergent Cesareans where we need to get this baby out quick and then there is a crash where they do put people under with crash Cesareans. But if they are waiting for hours, it’s almost like they gave the emergency title to make themselves feel better or make it look valid to justify that Cesarean.

Melanie: Yeah, I definitely agree with that. That experience was really awful for me. I think for some women, I think it’s awful for a lot of women and then I think for some, it’s not that awful. For me, no skin-to-skin. I know that’s not very common at all. It felt like it was forever for them to bring him to me. No one was talking to you in this moment and I just don’t think these doctors realize in the moment that you’re being robbed of something that you envisioned and a really important experience.

It just felt like forever for them to give him to me. It was 30 minutes or so. He was fine. He came out completely fine with great APGARS. I was fine. It just ended up in the way I didn’t want it to. I did have PTSD from that experience because I was having a lot of flashbacks to it. I went through some EMDR therapy. I had a great therapist and of course, I talked to her about it. She was there for my VBAC as well.

But yes. That postpartum was just– the healing sucked. I just felt really awful and I think mentally, it took a really big toll on me. Breastfeeding was really hard. A lot of that I attributed to my C-section. It was not desired. It was just not great.

So that was the first birth. I never knew VBAC was a thing or a big deal at all. I don’t even think I knew the term VBAC. I went to the 6-week post-doctor’s visit and I remember she was like, “Yeah, you’d be a great candidate for a VBAC. However, you have to go into spontaneous labor by 39 weeks.” I’m sitting here like, okay. He was just a 41-week baby. My mom has a history of going late. I don’t think that’s very likely that I’ll go into spontaneous labor by 39 weeks so I already made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go with her.

I learned later that that is a very common thing that hospitals and OB/GYNs will say to you.

Yeah, that was the first one. So then cue The VBAC Link. I started listening to The VBAC Link Podcast before I was pregnant. Maybe my son was a year old and I binged every episode. You and Julie were in my ear a ton. The thing that I heard from The VBAC Link was that the likelihood of a successful VBAC for many of these women did happen out of the hospital and like you yourself, Meagan.

That’s not to say that of course, you can be in the hospital. You can have an epidural and get induced and have a successful VBAC, but when I just heard the overwhelming thing was how much of a better chance you have.

I should also mention that my husband works in medicine too. He’s a physician assistant. I will talk about that. He had a little bit of a hard time just with the safety aspect of it. But once I let my mind go toward the possibility of an out-of-hospital birth– because I wanted a VBAC so badly. I was so motivated. Then I realized that it was something that I actually really desired, a physiologic birth and unmedicated.

When I look back, I think that’s why I had such a hard time mentally with my first birth because I think I didn’t know that I cared how my babies come into the world and I wanted to experience that. I don’t know and in some weird way too, it felt like doing an unmedicated out-of-hospital birth made me almost feel connected to my ancestors. It seems really weird, but I was like, this is what they did. I just think it’s something really cool that our bodies do. I wanted to experience that.

But I do. I recognize that it was a trauma response for me for sure to become obsessed with research. I binged all of the episodes. I would look for anything related to VBAC. I read so many books and I actually toured. I had a neighbor and a friend who was pregnant at the time and she was going with the birth center that I ended up going with. We would go on walks and she would talk about her experience and how amazing and wonderful it was. I was just like, man. I want that, especially knowing that we were planning to most likely have just one more child.

I hated to have that thinking of, this is my last chance, but I did.

Meagan: I understand that so much because my husband told me that too and I was like, “I really want this VBAC. I really want this VBAC.”

Melanie: Yeah and that’s okay. We’re okay. It’s okay if we have these desires and these wishes. You only get one life. It’s okay to want what we want.

I’ll never forget. I toured the same birth center that my friend was at and again, I was not pregnant yet. It was an education class. I was like, let me just see what these midwives are all about and what birth centers are like. It just immediately– again, it’s that intuition. It immediately felt so right. I remember I walked in and just before even finishing the class, before we even really heard them out, I just knew that this was where I wanted to give birth in my next pregnancy. It felt so right.

And also, I’ll never forget. I had asked questions about VBAC because unfortunately, not all birth centers support VBACs which I don’t understand, but I had asked a lot of my questions related to VBACs and I remember the midwife saying, “Well, unfortunately and fortunately, we do a lot of VBACs.” I’m thinking, why would I not want to be with a provider who does the most VBACs? Hospitals don’t do a lot of VBACs comparatively. A lot of people are like me. They go to a birth center because they really want a VBAC.

That just was really calming to me. I felt like I was with experienced hands. I was safe and there also was not really anything different about a VBAC. I’m with people who understand and trust birth.

I brought this up to my husband and I mentioned that he had his reservations because he’s a physician assistant and he works in orthopedic trauma but he was in PA school, he had to do OB/GYN rotations. He unfortunately saw some bad birth outcomes so to him, the hospital was a safety net but I was so, so grateful that he was supportive of my desire to go out-of-hospital even though it seemed kind of crazy to him.

He came to– we had one meeting with the midwife so he could ask questions and everything. She was so great and answered all of his questions and I actually was unknowingly pregnant at the time. I didn’t know it.

Meagan: No way.

Melanie: It’s really weird. I toured the birth center first by myself and it’s almost like my body needed that to be like, boom. You found the place where you are going to give birth and then I got pregnant. It was really weird. We were trying but also, it takes my body after coming off birth control some time so it still was a shock. I was like, oh wow.

So anyway, the second pregnancy was much harder as I mentioned. I was not able to be nearly as active. I ran that half marathon like I mentioned and then– it was the Dallas half– then my body just went downhill. It was much, much harder. My sleep was horrible. I have an Aura ring and it tracks your sleep and everything then at the end of the year, it will give you a summary of every month’s sleep.

I will never forget because I got pregnant in September and it’s like, January, February, March, April everything is fine and you look at the bar graph time series and it plummets in September. It stayed that way. It was my deep sleep. My deep sleep really, really decreased a ton. Maybe that’s normal and I just didn’t know that the first time, but I did not tell many people I was going with a birth center. I lied about my due date which I learned from this podcast which is very smart to do.

I highly recommend it just because I didn’t want to let in any of that negative energy or anything. The couple people I did tell, I did get a couple of people who would be like, “Oh, they’re going to let you do that,” like the “let you” language.

Meagan: We both did the same thing at the same time with the air quotes. The “let you”.

Melanie: Yeah, exactly. I don’t blame them. I just think that a lot of people don’t have that birth education. And in hospitals, it’s very normal to do a repeat C-section even though we all know it’s not evidence-based.

So very briefly, I want to talk about the prep that I did in this pregnancy that made such a huge difference for me. Number one, all of the podcasts like I mentioned. This one, of course. The VBAC Link, I binged it. I found the Down to Birth podcast at the end and that’s a really, really good one. I know everybody does The Birth Hour as well which is good but that one has everything. I loved the more VBAC-specific ones. Then also, they haven’t produced any episodes in a while but the Home Birth After Cesarean Podcast was really good too because they were all unmedicated. I was hoping to do that and they were all VBACs.

Then books– I read a lot but these were my favorites. Of course, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Emily Oscar’s Expecting Better is really good. Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way is a little outdated but that one I really loved. It really taught me what productive contractions looked like because I didn’t really experience labor the first time. I never made it past a 3 the first time. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t have coping mechanisms. They really focused on breathing.

The best book I read and I hadn’t heard this one on it. Maybe you know of it but I had never heard about it but it was Hypnobirthing by Siobhan Miller. There are a lot of books on Hypnobirthing but Hypnobirthing by Siobhan Miller. I was just thinking of Hypnobirthing as a possible way to cope. That book was the best book because I really like the science, the physiology, and what is actually happening in your body when you’re getting contractions and how do you work with your body. It just had such a great way of explaining all of that.

That was the last book I found. I was 3 weeks away from my guess date. That one was great. She also creates the Freya app if you’ve heard of that. The Freya app times contractions and it helps you with breathing. They give you a lot of mantras. Yeah. That book was amazing. I did get the Freya app too. I did not know I was going to rely on it so much in labor. Also, in that book, it was really big on affirmation cards. I would make affirmation cards then I would read them in the bath and sometimes practice my breathing through the app.

I did some pelvic PT and then, of course, the prenatal chiropractor like I mentioned, I continued to do that. Like I mentioned, the care with the midwives was great. Very positive language. I noticed what was really important to me was not, “I hope I can do this,” because of course, I hope that. But my midwives were amazing because every time, they would just speak it. They would say, “You are going to have a beautiful, redemptive VBAC.” They would just say that.

Of course, I know I am 50% of the birth story. The baby is the other 50%. Of course, I know that but it was so important for me to have that positive language. I really worked on my mindset this time around. I only followed accounts that served me. I unfollowed news accounts. I had to be very careful about what I watched and things like that. I don’t think women realize how important our mental state is. I get very sensitive.

Meagan: Yes. So talking about that, protecting your space, our bubble, or whatever it may be. Protecting our space is so important because mentally, like you were saying, I don’t know if people really understand how precious our mental space is but mentally, if we are thrown off, it is sometimes really difficult to get back onto that rail.

I had a situation on Facebook in a VBAC-supportive group. I’ve talked about it in the past. I was so excited to announce that I was going to birth outside of the hospital. I also wasn’t telling people that I was birthing out of the hospital. I didn’t really tell people my plan I thought I could in that group and I wasn’t supported. I had to leave that.

Sometimes it means leaving groups. Sometimes it means staying off social media. Sometimes it means muting people who may be sharing their opinions or telling people flat-out, “I appreciate you so much but unfortunately, I can’t have you in my space,” because mentally, they are not serving you well.

Melanie: 100%, yeah. I hate that that happened to you and I know that happens to so many women. It’s just so unfortunate and I hate that there is such a stigma with VBAC because if you do the research which people who have really “easy” births don’t have a reason to really do the research but if you are like us where we are all very motivated to have a VBAC because we already have this stigma going against us, it’s all unwarranted. It’s not evidence-based to not be supportive of a VBAC and if you really research and do the stats, you realize that it’s not a big deal. The craziest thing that I heard on the Down to Birth Podcast was, “You have a chance of uterine rupture even as a first-time mom.”

Meagan: Yes, you do.

Melanie: It’s not that much higher as a VBAC and first-time moms go their entire pregnancy never once hearing about uterine rupture but yet if you are a VBAC mom, that’s all you hear about. So it’s so crazy to me.

Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. So mentally, you were unfollowing. You protected your space there. Is there anything else that you would give tip-wise to protect your mental space?

Melanie: I think just believing in your body and believing that we are made to give birth. I think that’s a really big one. Of course, like you said, unfollowing and maybe not talking about it with people, unfollowing accounts that do not serve you. I think the most important thing, I know we’ve heard it a million times on this podcast, but where you give birth and who you give birth with is the single most important thing because you want to be with a provider who believes that you can do it, whoever that is.

Yeah, believing in yourself. I think that’s going to look different for everybody of what they need. For me, I am a data person so I needed the stats. I needed to read the books and also listen to lots of women who have done it before me.

Meagan: Mhmm, love that.

Melanie: So okay, here we are. I was 40+5 so again, not 39 weeks with spontaneous labor but 40+5. I woke up at 5:00 AM to what I thought was contractions. I had some Braxton Hicks at the very end which I never experienced before. I didn’t know if maybe it was prodromal labor but it didn’t feel like Braxton Hicks because it was waking me up. I just tried to move through them a little bit. They were coming very, very sporadically. I would get a short contraction one time an hour and this went on for most of the day and they were not long at all, like 30 seconds.

In my mind, I’m thinking, I’m a hopeful first-time vaginal birther. So I’m like, okay. This could be 24 hours. It could be 48 hours. Who knows? But I did not want to waste any energy timing the contractions so I was just guessing the whole day. It was a Sunday. I stayed home with my toddler. Yeah, I should mention that he is 2.5 so I waited about 2.5 years between the two births.

So yeah. I just labored at home with my toddler and my husband. We are big track fans so it worked out perfectly. There was a Diamond League track meet on so I did the Miles Circuit while I was watching that. I texted my midwives and kept everybody updated but I think again, we all thought I still had a ton of time.

Then I would say around 4:00 PM that day, I started to notice them a little bit more. They were still pretty inconsistent. I would say maybe 8-10 minutes apart and still only 30-45 seconds long. That was something I learned from again, that Bradley Method book I read is that productive contractions for most women– I will say not for me. We will get into that. But for most women, they are a minute plus. Those are the most productive contractions.

I texted my midwife then that I felt like it would likely be that night. I felt pretty confident that they were coming but I was like, it could be the middle of the night. It could be tomorrow morning. Who knows. She texted back and she advised that I take some magnesium, take an Epsom salt bath and then go to bed and try to reserve my energy for when they are 4-1-1.

We had a birth photographer this time so I texted the birth photographer. I texted our friends who I’m so grateful for. We had a neighbor and a friend who was going to come to our house and be with my toddler. So, so sweet.

Yeah. I took the magnesium and then my husband, Brandon, drew me a bath and then disappeared with our toddler. I sat in the bath and I was reading my affirmation cards. This makes me so emotional but I discovered that my husband had snuck in his own affirmation cards into my pile and that’s when I found them. Oh, it was so sweet.

Meagan: That’s adorable.

Melanie: I know. It still makes me cry when I think about it because it just meant so much. It makes me so emotional. It was super sweet and one of the best things he’s ever done for me. I found those and was reading through them in the bath and just trying to relax and really work with the contractions.

I know from my research that you need to relax. To get them to be productive contractions, you have to relax. You have to get your body out of the way and it will go faster that way.

They really started to ramp up when my husband was putting our toddler to bed around 7:30. I got in the bed and I put the pregnancy pillow in between my legs. I lay there and was trying to establish a pattern. Yeah. I know manifestation sounds pretty woo-woo but I want to say and this is where I’ll start sprinkling these in because there were 10 things that I had manifested or really, really prayed would happen and I was very intentional that I really, really hoped that this happened.

This was the first one. I don’t know why I had envisioned laboring with my dog. You have a dog. You understand. My dog is my firstborn. She is my baby. I love her. You know, birth is so primal so I was just like, She’s going to know. She’s going to know when I’m in labor and she’s going to know what to do. She did. She followed me. I didn’t even realize it at the time. She followed me in my bed and I took a picture with her at 8:19. She was lying next to me on the bed as I was going through these contractions and it’s a very, very special memory for me.

I was already starting to get the labor shakes at this point. It’s 7:30 and laying down in bed did really help to establish more of a pattern but they still were not a minute long. They were 40-50 seconds long. Then I moved to the toilet as many women do at this point, backward on the toilet.

I lost more of my mucus plug because I had lost it sometime earlier in the day then at some point, I looked down and realized that I was having my bloody show. Again, none of this I had ever experienced before with my first.

My husband was an absolute rockstar in this moment. He was so cute. He was running back and forth between the toilet and then packing up the car because I think he realized it was starting to get pretty serious. He brought me water and he put on the back of the toilet, cleaned it, gummy worms and things. That was not what I wanted at that moment but it was super cute.

Oh, and I should mention that I did not have a doula so he was kind of like my doula. I was trying to prepare him as best as I could beforehand but he didn’t need it. He did really well. I know the hip squeezes are great and I learned that from this show of course. As they were coming, I would scream at him, “Hip squeezes! Hip squeezes!” He would come over and do it and he did awesome. He was saying that I left my body in this moment and I was possessed because when I was having a contraction, again, I was trying to do the deep moans and really trying to relax but it’s just funny. He was telling me about it after and he was like, “Yeah, it was like if you were looking at it from the outside, it’s like you were possessed then you would scream at me and just moan.”

Then by 9:24, they were coming. I mentioned they were not a minute long, but they were coming on top of each other. So every 2.5-3.5 minutes apart, but still not quite a minute long so my husband was calling the midwives and she still was like, “Well, they’re not quite a minute. Just have her keep laboring at home until they are a minute.” Eventually, he called her back and I think he put it on speaker so she could hear me and that’s what did it.

Meagan: Uh-huh. She’s like, “Load her up.”

Melanie: Yes. Because we live outside of Dallas. The birth center was in downtown Dallas so it’s pretty far. It’s usually a 45-minute drive for us so I think my husband was just like, “I don’t want to have a car baby.”

Meagan: Sure.

Melanie: Yeah. It was ramping up. So yeah. She called back. I mentioned the Freya app. I really relied heavily on the Freya app because when you are timing the contractions, it helps you with the breathing, in for 4, out for 8, and then one of the mantras I learned from that Hypnobirthing book that I did not know I was going to rely on so much– and I think you never really know when you’re going into it and when you’re in labor. You never know what’s going to stick.

My mantra that I must have repeated to myself 500 times was, Inhale peace, exhale tension. Every single contraction, I just repeated that over and over and over. I was trying to make it until 10:30 PM when we called them again, but that’s when we got in the car and started heading there.

He made it to the birth center in 33 minutes. The car ride was not fun like many women talk about. I think I hardly opened my eyes and I was just timing them, repeating my mantra, Inhale peace, exhale tension.

I arrived at the birth center at 11:00 PM. I had a contraction on the step right there as I was trying to get out of the car and trying to make it. I eventually made it inside and I had my first cervical check of the whole pregnancy. I again, something I had manifested was that my two favorite midwives would be there and they were. One of them, she wasn’t even on call but she came anyway. So many sweet things happened.

I got on my back. She asked if she could check me and I was like, “Yes. I really want to know.” One thing again, I manifested that I really wanted to be at least a 6 when I showed up. The first thing she said was, “You are much farther along than you ever were with Rhett.” You are a 7 and you are very stretchy. I can feel your bulgy back of waters and the baby’s head is right behind it.

That’s the other thing. We mentioned PROM. Here I am and my water still had not burst and it was amazing. Being on my back felt awful by the way. That’s why I just don’t understand. Being unmedicated in a hospital must be so, so hard because I know a lot of the times they want you to be on your back and I just can’t imagine because that was the worst position ever.

She started filling up the tub right away. Like many women, I was like, “I have to poop.” I get on the toilet and I was like, “I swear I do.” But no, I don’t. Nothing was happening but it feels like I do.

I got in the tub right away. I did a couple of contractions. They were still coming on top of each other. I was sitting down and eventually, I moved to hands and knees. Very shortly after, that was very fast. That was only about 5 minutes after getting checked. Very shortly after, my body was starting to push and I was like, “This can’t.” I mentioned something. I don’t really remember this but I mentioned something to my midwife about how it seemed to soon to push.

I was like, “You just checked me and I was a 7-8. Why is my body pushing right now?” I was really wary of a cervical lip or a swollen lip which I learned from this podcast. I can’t remember exactly but she said something to the nature of, “If your body is ready to push, let it push. This is your body getting ready to birth your baby,” which is again, something else I had really, really envisioned. I would have loved my body to do the pushing and it did which was amazing.

My water had not broken still at this point and the really cool moment was that the baby was en caul for a while. I remember her saying something on the phone about baby being en caul. I was birthing the sac before I birthed the baby. It felt like a water balloon. She kept telling me, “Feel down. Feel the sac.” It felt like a water balloon coming out of you. It was so weird.

Yeah, my midwife stayed behind me so quietly the whole time. I never knew she was there. My husband set up my birth playlist and music and he just was such a rockstar in this moment. He was getting a cold rag and putting it over my shoulders which felt amazing, getting water and electrolytes and continuing to help me with that.

Yeah. My body pushed for about 30 minutes and I don’t want to scare anybody, but truly, that was the worst part. I remember– I guess maybe it’s the ring of fire, but I just remember feeling like my body was ripping in half. But then it goes away.

Meagan: Yeah. It’s intense. It’s intense.

Melanie: It’s so intense. I don’t think anything can really prepare you for that. I follow that account, Pain-Free Birth. I don’t understand and I would watch videos of women who were smiling and they look great. I’m like, oh my gosh. That part was so, so painful. Handling and dealing with the contractions is one thing and I felt like I was really strong. I felt like I did a good job with that, but that pushing part is something else.

His head was out. It was a boy. His head was out for a little while but nobody panicked and my husband was ready to catch him. His hand was right there. At some point, I remember my midwife was like, because again, my body was doing all of the pushing. I didn’t do any of it. I guess after the head was out of a little bit, she was like, “You can try to push.” My husband told me because his hand was right there that my pushes were nothing. They were baby, tiny little pushes compared to the ones my body was doing.

Then at some point, my midwife asked if she could help or something and I was like, “Yes, please.” I don’t know what she did. My baby was kind of big which I’ll say in a second, but I think maybe his shoulder was stuck or something. She did something that was pretty painful but then within a second–

Meagan: A sweep.

Melanie: Yeah, like a maneuver because I definitely felt more stretching then a second later, he shot out. He did have the cord wrapped around his neck one time but nobody freaked out and they just literally took it off then he pinked up right away, cried, and he ended up being 9 pounds, 5 ounces. My first was 6 pounds and 14 ounces. I’m like, “No wonder running felt awful. He was pretty big.”

I look back and I just feel very proud. I was never once scared for myself. I never once thought about uterine rupture and I never was scared for my baby. I do have some memories of– they did the intermittent checking and I have this memory of the decels. That is why I ended up having the C-section so I was always very curious to see how he was doing during the check.

He was always fine and I was never scared. Yeah. We got out of the tub quickly. They waited for me to deliver the placenta on the bed. It was about 30 minutes and yeah. My baby latched right away which was such a relief because I mentioned we had some struggles the first time. The crazy thing was– we sat there. We ate. We chatted for a little bit then once they did all of the newborn tests right there, we were home by 3:45 AM.

My toddler went to bed as an only child and then he woke up to a little brother. And that’s his story.

The postpartum has been so different and it’s been so much better. I can’t help but think that a lot of that is because of such a smoother birth and the recovery has been so much better than a C-section. Different, but still so much better.

Meagan: Yeah.

Melanie: Yeah. I just thank this community so much. I also was on the Facebook page and I just got so much strength from all of the women before me.

Meagan: Yes. Oh my gosh. Such an incredible story. I love– okay, a couple of things. One, we talk about it on the podcast. I love when people go and look for providers before they are pregnant. I absolutely love it. I think it’s very powerful. But two, you were actually pregnant and you didn’t know it.

Melanie: I know.

Meagan: That’s so cool that you were doing that and it felt so right and not only was your intuition before pregnancy kicking in but you were actually pregnant and it felt right. You were like, this is the place. This is the place. Then you showed. You went past that 39-week date. You never had gone past 3 centimeters before. So much strength and power happened through all of this and then you pushed out a 9-pound baby.

All of these things that a lot of the world doubts. Did you look at your op report?

Melanie: I did and everything was normal. Then the main thing was the decels and that’s why they said was the reason.

Meagan: Decels. I just wondered if they said anything like CPD or failure to progress.

Melanie: Yeah, no they didn’t. I was looking for that specifically. I just barely made it. I was 2-3 centimeters before the decels started happening and then they called it.

Meagan: Yeah. A lot of the time we are told and the world doubts us in so many ways so if you told a lot of people who are uneducated about VBAC the things that happened with the first and then the stats of your second, I bet people are like, “You did that?” But you guys, this is normal. This is beautiful. This is what you deserve. You deserve these experiences and these joyous moments. I’m just so proud of you. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of your husband. He sounds absolutely adorable. Shoutout to him.

Melanie: He’s so sweet.

Meagan: Your midwives and everybody. You did it.

Melanie: Aw, thank you.

Meagan: I’m so happy for you.

Melanie: Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m glad I didn’t know how big he was before but also with my midwives, there was no pressure at all to even see how big he was.

Meagan: Mhmm, yeah.

Melanie: The second baby, I always say that he healed me because he really did. My first birth was really traumatic for me but then my friends all laugh because they say, “You’re the only person who would say a 9-pound baby would heal you.”

Meagan: Seriously, though. But how amazing. It’s so amazing. Our bodies are incredible.

Okay, we talked about PROM. This time, total opposite. Encaul for a little bit. I did some things. You did some things. Let’s talk about if you’ve had PROM, premature rupture of membranes, there are things you could do to try to encourage no PROM next time.

I am PROM, PROM, then with my third, I was contracting. My water did break way earlier than pushing but it still waited a little longer. I still feel like my efforts in a lot of ways helped.

So anyway, tell us what you did.

Melanie: Yes. So mainly two things. Again, being with providers who are more holistic, they are more likely to mention nutrition. We talked about nutrition a ton during the whole pregnancy. I think two main things. The first thing was collagen. They got me on collagen from the get-go. I know research shows that upping your collagen helps a strong sac. Then the second thing was Vitamin C. I didn’t take any Vitamin C supplements or anything, but again, your body is amazing. I was craving oranges in my pregnancy so I think that’s part of it. My body was craving oranges. I ate a lot of oranges so I think the combination of collagen and oranges really made my sac strong. And it was. It literally did not break until he came out. It was so different.

Meagan: So incredible. I would echo that. Vitamin C and you can supplement with Vitamin C 100mg a day starting anywhere between 18-20 weeks. Some providers even say to do it from the very beginning as the placenta is forming and things like that. Collagen absolutely and protein. Protein and collagen. I know you guys have heard about Needed but I absolutely love their protein collagen. As pregnant women, we don’t get enough collagen and we don’t get enough protein in our daily eating habits so supplementing with that and getting more collagen really, really can create a healthier, thicker sac.

Something that was interesting that I found out after my second– so back story. I had kidney stones. I don’t know if you had any infections or anything like that with your first that made you be on antibiotics but antibiotics is what an OB told me can also weaken membrane sacs. I got UTIs and kidney stones and was put on antibiotics. The OB described to me that my OB was fighting in other areas so the nutrients that my body was getting was going to fighting and healing versus creating a stronger sac which is interesting. I’ve never seen any research about it but he was pretty adamant about avoiding antibiotics during pregnancy with my next one and I did. I didn’t have what I had before.

Melanie: That’s interesting. I never heard that.

Meagan: I know. I know. This is a doctor who doesn’t even practice anymore. This was years ago but I was like, it kind of makes sense. It kind of makes sense. I haven’t researched it.

Melanie: Yeah. I can see that.

Meagan: Antibiotics wipe our gut flora and things like that anyway so I can understand that but protein, collagen, Vitamin C, and possibly avoiding antibiotics. Nutrition is so huge with our bag of water.

Then big babies. You guys, big babies come out of vaginas. I just have to say that. It happens. 9 pounds is a healthy, beautiful baby.

Melanie: Yeah. When he came out, everybody was very shocked even before weighing him. He’s thinned out now but he was swollen. Everybody was taking bets on how big he actually was.

Meagan: I love it. I love it. I’ve seen so many babies when they come out and their cheeks are so squishy and you’re like, that’s a big baby. You can tell just by their face.

Melanie: Yes. That’s exactly it.

Meagan: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you again so much for completing the circle, for helping other Women of Strength out there. I too believe that women listen to these podcasts and they want to find stories that are similar with theirs in so many ways. You didn’t dilate past 3. An induction that didn’t turn out to be a vaginal birth so an “unsuccessful” induction that turned VBAC. A lot of people, I think, do doubt their body in that way. They are like, “Well, I was induced. Not even medicine could get me there,” but there is a lot that goes into that. Sometimes our body is just not ready or our babies aren’t ready or something is going on. It doesn’t mean that’s your fate for all future births.

Melanie: 100%. Yeah. So well said.

Meagan: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much and huge congrats.

Melanie: Thank you so much, Meagan, and thank you to everybody. Everybody who has told their story, the community, and everything was so helpful for me.

Closing

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