STONEWALLED - What Comes Next When Nothing is Working?

Secrets of a Conflict Coach

Stonewalling is what happens when someone mentally checks out of a relationship, any type of relationship -- they're refusing to resolve issues, have conversations, or react and respond to other people's attempts at connection or resolution.

With stonewalling, there's no immediate step forward. You can eventually get to the forward point you want to be at, but you can't walk through a stone wall. Once that wall is built, if you want to get to the other side, you either have to break it down or try a different route.

I will usually advocate for breaking it down, but sometimes you need help. And that's normal. No, I'm not lying. It's actually normal.

Here's the options:

Mental Health Professionals (e.g. therapists, psychiatrists)

Relationship Professionals (e.g. counselors, marriage/family therapists)

Legal Professionals (e.g. judiciaries, litigation teams, arbitrators)

Peacemaking Professionals (e.g. mediators, conflict coaches)

But here's what I'll say about leaving the stonewalled relationship/conflict as it is, and trying a different route-- if the other person or people involved are refusing to help you break down that wall, leave them there to either figure it out or keep doing nothing, and move forward with the people who would have helped you break down a wall that was damaging your relationship with them.

And if you don't know which people in your life would help you break down that wall, or if you're consistently being stonewalled, then you're not learning enough from your conflicts.

You can't control them. You can only control you, and your goal should always be to move forward. And if they can't keep up, leave them there.

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