Transitions

Journey to Inner Wisdom

When we embark on a journey, any journey and specifically with the journey to inner wisdom, we often find ourselves in a transition in some form. So, before we explore the ABCs of the Journey to Inner Wisdom, I am going to have a look at Transitions…mainly because I love working with people in transition and because I have just gone through a major transition myself.

Transition - a change from one state or condition to another Webster-Merriman Dictionary

The prefix Trans comes from the Latin meaning: across, beyond, through, on the other side of, to go beyond.

I want you to think about your own transitions and the language that you use when describing those transitions…

I have been through many transitions in my life as you have…some I’ve handled gracefully and some with less grace and other transitions seemed to handle me.

Let’s begin by looking at the different types of transitions that make up our lives.

There are natural transitions like the seasons, daily transition of day to night, light to dark, waking to sleeping.

Birth and death are also natural transitions for all life on this planet and these transitions will vary but are inevitable.

Then there are the social transitions which vary according to culture and expectations. Things like birthdays, graduations, weddings, engagements, milestones in business and work, anniversaries…we are always marking transitions…sometimes with a grand celebration and sometimes with a note in our calendars.

We also go through relationship transitions, business/work/jobs, economic transitions.

Our lives are full of beginnings, middles and ends…some are easy, some we take for granted and some we have to work our way through to the other side.

Some catch us by surprise, unexpectantly changing the course of our lives. Some are welcomed, some are not welcomed and some we may just want to ignore.

Some will occasionally blindside us and leave us in shock…

I think you get the idea…we are always either beginning, in the middle of or coming out of a transition…

Let me tell you about some of my transition – first, you need to know that I love to mark transitions, a party or celebration…sometimes taken to the absurd! A celebration can raise our awareness that life is transforming…like graduation from university or college…life is not longer ruled by assignments and exams rather it is transitioning to application of the accomplished studies.

Being aware of transitions can lead to a deeper knowing about what is actually happening in our lives and may give us a bigger perspective on how we are making the transition.

Let me tell you some of my transition stories…

All transitions, as I said have a beginning, a middle and an end.

The beginnings of any transition are generally recognizable. We are entering into something new…

The endings are generally recognizable as well…

In both cases depending on the transition we will experience a variety of emotions and thoughts. Transitions also impact our health and wellbeing.

Okay, some stories…

My husband and I spend time working in Africa. At the end of 6 years we were returning to Canada. I was sad about the transition as we had made many friends while there. Our two children were born there. WE had made wonderful memories and had had visits from family members over the years. WE had returned to Canada several times over the 6 years so felt connected there as well. As we were saying our goodbyes, I would say…something like…we will meet again…this isn’t really goodbye! I was really avoiding saying goodbye. One of the teachers that had worked with us took me aside one day and gave me an article about grieving and saying goodbye…this new awareness that I was bargaining and not facing the endings of this era in my life woke me up and I begian to say goodbye for good to everyone. I realized then that I was closing this time or chapter of my life and if and when I meet some of theses people again it would be a gift. I cried my way through the next two weeks but when I got on the plane and left, I was ready for my next adventure. I had made a graceful transition in the end!

This learning has helped me be aware of the many times I have left people, places, jobs behind…I always say goodbye and close the chapter.

I have had many visits with the people from that chapter of my life and each time it is so exciting to connect without any baggage.

My family has often given me a hard time because I like to create celebrations to mark transitions and here is a story about a bizarre celebration! Our dear friend Lubinda came from Africa to live with us for a year. After a few months she was not feeling well and found out that she had a serious amoeba in her gut. It was terrifying and we were all worried, especially Lubinda. This was a transition in her health situation that was not great but we all needed to work together to get her healthy. Well we had an amoeba party and we posted amoebas on her bedroom door. We celebrated that the doctors had been able to discover what was ailing her…the celebration marked our support of her wellness journey and she picked herself up and was more hopeful about the journey to wellness…

A more traditional and not so traditional celebration was for my mom’s 90th birthday. She did not want a party, but how many people get to be 90! So rather than put all the focus on her, we had a zero celebration. There were 8 people celebrating a ‘Zero” birthday as well as two new babies coming before the end of the year! Do We had a Zero party to mark the transition from one decade to the next for all of these people? It was a rip-roaring success and my mother was thrilled, even thought we did manage to make it mostly about her.

After 14 years of marriage, I left our relationship. This was probably one of the most painful transitions I have made. As part of the transition out of the marriage, we went to marriage therapy to learn why our relationship ended and how not to make the same mistake again. I wanted to be fully aware of my part in the breakup and I wanted to be fully aware as I entered another relationship. The transition was interesting as we ended up back together and to mark the transition back into the relationship, we had an intimate celebration with a few people who had supported us during this painful and then joyful time.

Over the last, almost two years, I think transitions have been particularly difficult because In some ways we have been forced into being in transition in so many ways. Our lives as we have known them shifted and changed many times. Our work may have changed, our finances, our contact with friends and family, our wellbeing has shifted and all of these things continue to be in transition…there was a beginning and we are all hoping there will soon be an ending and a transition to something more familiar with a bit more certainty. Every aspect of our lives ws turned on end…even getting groceries and we all remember the toilet paper shortage!

During this time, the chaos, I don’t think that is too strong a work…Chaos – a state of disorder and confusion…I think we can all agree that this is what it seemed like many times over the last 22 mo...