Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them
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They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another woman. They are committed to each other, but this unforeseen transformation of their family has many unexpected consequences that invol…
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The Arc of Love - Happily Divorced
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They're amicably divorced divorce lawyers, carving out a new kind of relationship after the end of their marriage. Esther reframes their situation and proposes a radical solution. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and agg…
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The Arc of Love - All The Things We Never Said
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Often when a relationship ends, we're left with regrets, questions, and conversations we wish we could have had. Esther helps a woman process the things she left unsaid including the sexual grief and loss she feels after her husband unexpectedly died. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a…
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The Arc of Love - A Romantic Revival
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This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. The suicide of his first wife left four traumatized children in its wake; she's spent six years putting the pieces back together. They're both ready to experience joy in their marriage, but can't quite figure out how. Esther coaches them through the difference betw…
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The Arc of Love - The Other Woman
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53:29
Ten years and two kids later, a wife comes to Esther looking for answers: does she want to explore her attraction to women because she's bisexual, or because she no longer wants to be married to her husband? What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trus…
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The Arc of Love - The Poly Dinner Party
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Join Esther for a dinner table conversation on the topic of polyamory. The dinner was held to mark the anniversary of a panel discussion Esther was part of on the same topic ten years earlier. Together the original panel and a few new friends explore what has changed in the last decade as consensual non-monogamy has become more mainstream, why some…
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The Arc of Love - A Small Town Affair
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It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression,…
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The Arc of Love - Young Love
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They met in college; he's a U.S. citizen and she's trapped in a cross-border limbo. Their young love complicated by immigration status and politics, Esther helps them appreciate each other's sacrifices as they contemplate marriage. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whe…
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The Arc of Love - I Don't Think I Want Kids? But My Partner Might?
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The Arc of Love is my gift to you as your summer beach listen of 2024. A curated collection of stories about trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, attraction and disgust, rupture and repair. As the stories mirror and amplify our own experiences, they help us grapple with the parts of ourselves that hold the same emotions,…
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Impotent is No Way To Define a Man
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A husband hasn’t had an erection in 12 years and struggles with acknowledging it openly. His wife, in despair over her feelings of hopelessness in the bedroom, seeks relief from her sexual frustration and feelings of resentment. Esther reinforces to both of them that definin…
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You Keep Planning A Future Without Me
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They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friendships. After about a year, something shifted for her and she began to develop feelings for him, sending her seemingly solid identity into a tailspin. After 15 years of identifying as a lesbian, she was…
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Esther Calling - Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?
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Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a life partner, she questions her ability to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. Esther seeks to uncover the root of these issues and help her forge a new path forward as she embarks on what she hope…
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Trauma Doesn't Like to Be Touched
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A newly married couple comes to Esther for guidance on how to create a space of safety and physical intimacy while also giving voice to past trauma. One partner is working to overcome an aversion to physical touch due to abuse from his past while the other is learning to ask…
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Esther Calling - What If I Break Up With My Dad?
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Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the part of her father has ruptured the family- and leaves her questioning whether or not her father should continue to have a role in her life. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional…
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Esther Calling - It Feels Like My Siblings Abandoned Me
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In this Esther Calling, Esther speaks to a young woman grappling with the burden of caring for her ailing parents and the feelings of resentment she feels towards her older siblings. But the true cause of this family conflict goes much deeper than who is showing up and who is not. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone ca…
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Does Growing Up Mean Growing Apart?
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They grew up together and now run a production company. They are contending with the growing pains of transitioning from best friends to coworkers and the challenges of running, essentially, a family business. Esther helps them find the complementarity in their roles and see their story as growing and developing even in the face of challenges. Lear…
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Esther Calling - My Mom Should Have Set a Different Example
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42:57
Esther speaks to a woman who is experiencing a kind of a double story. She resents her mother for the choices she made and the example she set, while also wondering if she keeps choosing the safe person as a way to combat those childhood feelings of abandonment. Esther helps her untangle these complicated feelings. Learn more about your ad choices.…
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There's You, There's Me, There's US
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A middle-aged couple, together for seventeen years, best friends and partners who, despite their loving and positive relationship, go months without connecting sexually. He transitioned 10 years ago, and they’re both experiencing the physical changes of aging. Esther guides …
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Esther Calling - Love is a Trap
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He gets to a certain point in relationships before he starts fantasizing about his ex-boyfriends or other future partners. Esther talks him through what he might be holding onto from his childhood that makes his otherwise healthy relationships feel stifling. Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They ar…
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I Think I Married the Wrong Person
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54:49
She gets angry when she feels devalued and put down. He intellectualizes and rationalizes instead of sympathizing. Esther helps them to see each other and work towards dissolving the patterns they developed to protect themselves. For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light …
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Esther Calling - My Exes Exes Keep Ruining My Relationships
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50:58
A woman whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her with his ex girlfriend ends a perfectly good relationship because she can't trust how close her current partner is with his own ex. She wonders if two people can meet each other's needs without having to sacrifice a part of themselves and if she can ever move past her fears and let love into her life. Esthe…
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Esther Perel on New AI - Artificial Intimacy
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1:07:17
This week we're airing a very special episode of Brené Brown's Unlocking Us where Esther and Brené discuss how we manage the paradox of exploring the world of social media and emerging technologies while staying tethered to our humanness. How do we create IRL relationships where we see and value others and feel seen and valued in the context of con…
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Esther Calling - My Husband, His Other Wife, and Me
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They were aid workers who met abroad, fell in love, and came to the States to get married. After two years, her partner returned to his home country to fulfill his familial duty and marry his brother's widow. Esther talks her through what comes next. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited…
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Sex, Comedy and Context: A Live Conversation with Trevor Noah
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Not all conversations with Esther have to happen behind closed doors. Last week, Esther sat down with Trevor Noah, live from the Vox Media Podcast Stage at SXSW in Austin, for a candid look at the state of comedy in the world we live in. The two of them uncovered some surprising similarities between being a comic and being a therapist. Esther showe…
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A woman realizes she doesn’t want to have children and comes to Esther for help expressing this to her husband, who passionately wishes to be a father. Not wanting to deny her husband this opportunity, she comes up with a solution, but Esther encourages them to talk more hon…
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