219. Jeff Bezos's Butthole Guy

Topic Lords

Lords:

• Jay
• Jenni
  • https://youtube.com/@kiwami-japan?si=z03WRlRnur883JkN

Topics:

• The dying art of learning a skill on a message board, such as pixel art or having long hair
• The Baldur's Gate 3 butthole chart
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/comments/16dlml1/behold_the_chart_ever_made/
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGhcSupkNs8
• Is giving people ideas helpful?
  • https://itch.io/jam/picostevemo
• James asks "Why is configuring the thing more enjoyable than using the thing?"
• I read one time that the way you know if you live urbanly or rurally is if you live in the city you know a place and if you live in the country you have a guy

Microtopics:

• Three people with social anxiety.
• Your left ear not working at the post office.
• 80 people in a post office screaming at each other.
• Keeping your broken item and just buying another because you don't want to go to the post office.
• Naming your band after a way to transmit audio.
• I'm good that they're exist.
• Getting your New Year's Resolution off of the Mastodon Tooter.
• Finding a kid at Applebee's to sit next to.
• Forming a seal on your face when there's hair.
• A hip burger or hot dog joint hanging a sign saying "Take it to Squirts-Town" over their condiment counter.
• An app to track how much emotional load you've dumped on each friend recently.
• Preparing to hold space for your feelings.
• Going outside and banging on pots and pans at midnight.
• Getting really into Casey Kasem's Rockin' New Year.
• Getting twelve grapes and trying to eat a grape on every bong of the clock.
• How far apart are the bongs?
• Whack it for a huge dong!
• The second message board you signed up for. (After The Sims.)
• Entirely abandoning the idea of drawing with your hands.
• The Three Tile Rule.
• New Year, New Wife!
• Being approached in a Trader Joe's by a guy who runs a message board for men with long hair.
• How to find people to follow on Cohost.
• Searching for a technical issue on the internet and finding a post on a message board asking your question and the answer is to "google it."
• Message boards about tying knots.
• A ghost giving you a hug.
• Shadebobs and searching on Youtube for shadebobs.
• Shadebob Squarepixels.
• Turn-based speed runs.
• Oxygenarian runs.
• Starting with meat. Ending with meat.
• Whether it's okay to do a Butthole Chart for people who are still alive.
• The Shade of the Butthole.
• Special people with hairy buttholes.
• When God asks you to bring him 50 buttholes, what body parts he'll accept as the butthole.
• Butthole purism.
• Personality traits that correspond with butthole traits in popular culture.
• What to do if you don't like the shade or the smell of your butthole.
• Going on T because you want a hairier butthole.
• Whether billionaires are real people.
• The Butthole of Dorian Gray.
• Hiring a person to take care of your butthole situation.
• Making eye contact with the guy who cleans Jeff Bezos's butthole but you can't stop and help, you have to catch your train.
• PiCoSteveMo outcomes.
• Self-driving taxis paving the entire planet.
• Suggesting ideas as a way to make sure nobody will implement those ideas.
• Receiving a new CD for Christmas in the post-Napster era.
• What we can still use as stocking stuffers now that CDs and DVDs don't make sense any more.
• Your life partner going through a Brandon Sanderson phase and giving you a huge Brandon Sanderson book to read.
• What you call the plug that goes into a plug.
• Getting paid to learn to solder.
• Deliberately introducing mpeg artifacts into a video stream.
• How to troubleshoot a motherboard now that they don't beep any more.
• How many Intels they're up to now.
• A memory of fun that you can't go back to.
• Awful Fantasy.
• Putting a foul-mouthed rom hack on your SNES Classic and then forgetting that happened when you give it away to your friends' kids.
• Imagining how great a product is going to be while you're buying the product.
• Asking for a toy for Christmas even though you know you'll never make time for it.
• Going to a friend's house and seeing a bajillion guitar pedals that you can't afford.
• Giving your guitar pedals away to someone who'll actually use them rather than just reselling them.
• Hanging out with the kind of person who's playing Rock Band in 2023.
• The only generation that learned how to use computers.
• Worrying that the five year old computer geniuses are going to hack your foot so you can't walk.
• Living in New Holstein Wisconsin and needing psychic healing.
• Living in the city and having a place you go to for hot dogs vs. living in the country and having a guy you call for hot dogs and he comes to your house with a suitcase full of hot dogs and a USB-C grill.
• Moving to the country so you can hang out of the hot dog guy.
• A place that's not even really a place because you can't catch Pokemon there.
• Two Guys and a Place.
• Bringing independent gas stations their coffee.
• Yacht Man Cologne.
• Stuff You're Not Allowed To Eat dot com.
• Arguing with GPT-4 until it agrees that your Garfield dating sim idea is ethical.
• Putting on your face shoes.
• This Is Cake Bread!
• Tholen vs. Tholen.

Support Topic Lords