93. GOING THROUGH THE TANTRUM PHASE? WHAT TO DO AND WHY IT'S HAPPENING - LISTENER Q&A #4

The Nurturing Parent: Respectful Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Toddler Behavior, Big Feelings, Regulate Emotions

Hi,
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old baby. Both are girls. My oldest daughter is going through the tantrum phase and at times it’s literally for anything - she wants to pour her own water even though the cup is filled to the rim, her father went to walk the dog, she wants to eat on my lap, she wants something else to eat, doesn’t want the car seat belt, etc - and they just spiral.
I try to connect with her, we do breathing exercises and I reinforce feelings and “using our words.”

I won’t lie, when the tantrums continue to spiral - meaning it’s 30 mins of tantruming - I have to walk away at times. I feel like my chest is tightening and I’m overwhelmed.

Also, my 4 month old has been very jumpy especially every time her big sister has a tantrum. The baby will start crying, wake up crying, or be easily startled. At times I feel like she’s scared by her older sister. Is my younger child becoming overwhelmed or traumatised by all the yelling? I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them to resent each other or have a bad relationship.

Thank you,

Edmary (a mama who just trying)

Episodes Referenced
Episode #15 - BABY # 2 ON THE WAY! HOW TO HELP THE TRANSITION FOR OUR LITTLE ONES
Episode #17 - SIBLING STRUGGLES
Episode #31 - TERRIBLE OR TERRIFIC TWOS?
Episode #63 - STRUGGLING TO GET MY LITTLE IN THE CAR SEAT! WHAT CAN I DO?
Episode #67 A Holistic Approach to Healthy Eating Habits for our Littles

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Original music ©Lisa K Sigurgeirson 1986