Ep:11 Rosemarie Blakeston - IVF twins, Postnatal Depression and Breast Cancer

The Full Life Podcast with Melanie Lynam

IVF, Twins, Postnatal depression, Breast cancer, Faith.
Hey friend, I’m so glad you’re listening. As you may be aware, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. Today I sit down and chat with my friend Rosemarie, a survivor of Breast Cancer - twice. We talk about what that journey looked like for her and we also talk about infertility, how it took Rosemarie and her husband Tony 4 years to have their twins who were conceived through IVF, and we talk about her postnatal depression that she went through after having them. There is so much in here and I know that this episode is going to be insightful, inspiring and encouraging to you. Also just a heads up, about 45 min in we are interrupted by a popping beetle. I was tempted to edit it out but I chose to leave it in. Just keeping it a bit real. We had a few interruptions when we recorded this. My fridge banged loudly, there was a popping beetle in the light above us, my microphone cord started playing up making a buzzing noise and of course there were bats outside our window. But such is the life of podcasting and the show must go on! And don’t worry, I edited most of that out. So here’s my conversation with Rosemarie Blakeston.

Rosemarie felt guilty admitting to her friends that she wasn’t coping after having her babies, because of how much she had gone through to have them. She felt like she was sounding ungrateful.

Rosemarie’s advice to herself looking back over the first few months of her sons’ lives, would be to not have expectations of what it should be like. She feels that she “over read” books in preparation for their birth and even once they were born. Her husband said she just needed to stop reading. Also to be more open to support and to speaking honestly about how she was really doing. The guilt and expectation of ‘I should know what I’m doing and I should be able to handle this.’ Due to sleep deprivation her coping strategies weren’t there. Because they were premie and because they were IVF she put too much pressure on herself to do things perfectly.

Rosemarie’s advice for how to be a support to someone who is going through post-natal depression or struggling to cope with a baby:

Time is always important. Just talking to someone on a phone even, breaks up the day so that you’re not feeling trapped and alone. Come over, make a tea, hold the baby while she had a shower. Any connection to an adult is a lifeline to a new Mum.

Going to a mothers group was really good.

Her Breast Cancer Journey:
At the age of 33, when the boys were 15 months old and with no family history, Rosemarie was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Some scriptures we referenced:
Proverbs 3:5

James 1:2-4

2 Corinthians 4:16

“I learned that I need to rely on God’s strength.”

When reflecting on supporting other people along their journeys Rosemarie says, “The journey is longer than the crisis…These are life journeys, they’re not just moments in time journeys…Sew in long term, not just short term.”

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