How to: Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce with Therapist Oona Metz

Divorce Happens

In this insightful episode, we tackle one of the most challenging conversations a parent can face during a divorce: telling your children. Therapist Oona Metz joins us to share expert advice on how to approach this delicate subject with honesty and sensitivity. Oona emphasizes the importance of being both vulnerable and resilient, modeling these qualities for your children. She explains that while every parent wants to protect their kids, it is crucial to communicate honestly about family changes, providing a balance between acknowledging sadness and reassuring them that the family will navigate through this together. Oona advises that the timing of the conversation should be considered carefully, with older children being told sooner due to their ability to sense household tension, while much younger children should be informed closer to any major changes, like a parent moving out.

Oona also stresses the importance of using a calm, unified approach when delivering the news. Ideally, both parents should work together to create a set of agreed-upon statements to guide the conversation, ensuring consistency and avoiding potential conflicts in front of the children. For parents who must deliver the news alone, Oona reassures that it is better to have one thoughtful, composed parent communicate the message than two parents who disagree. The first conversation should be kept brief and focus on the decision to separate, using the term "separation" initially to introduce the concept of divorce gently. While avoiding intricate details about the reasons for the separation, it’s crucial to offer a simple explanation like “We haven’t been getting along” and reassure your children that efforts were made to resolve issues. Emphasize that while some aspects of their lives might change, your love and commitment to them remain constant. Finally, encourage your children to express their feelings and assure them that they can approach you with any questions or concerns as everyone adjusts to the new family dynamics.

Learn more about Oona Metz: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/oona-metz-licsw

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Join the Fastest Growing Network of Divorce Professionals TODAY!

The Fresh Starts Expert Membership is a comprehensive business membership designed for entrepreneurs, experts, and small business owners to enhance their business development, marketing, public relations, networking, and community engagement. For just $55 a month, members receive a wealth of resources, including a standalone profile on the Fresh Starts Registry website, weekly virtual coworking sessions, business coaching, and accountability groups. Additionally, members have access to exclusive press and media opportunities, workshops, seminars, and a content and video library of resources, along with a dedicated podcast episode. Fresh Starts Registry, founded in 2021 by sisters Olivia Dreizen Howell and Genevieve Dreizen, is the first and only support registry platform for people navigating life transitions. It has gained recognition from major publications like The New York Times, Time Magazine, Forbes, and The Wall Street Journal, cementing its reputation as a trusted resource. The Fresh Starts Expert Membership is particularly beneficial for divorce experts, providing them with the tools and support needed to guide individuals through challenging life transitions. The membership's SEO-optimized profiles ensure that experts can easily connect with clients seeking their services. Members benefit from a dynamic community that offers valuable networking opportunities, business development support, and marketing tools to help grow their practice. The exclusive press and media exposure further enhances visibility and credibility, while workshops and events offer continuous learning and professional development. By joining this vibrant community, divorce experts gain access to a robust support system that empowers them to make a meaningful impact on their clients' lives and build a successful practice.

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