When Jesus Was A Kid

Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

WHEN JESUS WAS A KID

It’s Christmas time again D

And the mall is really weird.

Everyone gets stressed out

Christmas shopping every year. D-A7

I have to stop and wonder,

Looking at my Christmas list

When Jesus was a kid,

Would He be doing this? A7-D

I know He was a baby,

But did He ever cry?

Did Jesus wet His diapers,

Or were they always dry?

Did He use a bottle

Before He used a cup?

Did Jesus throw things on the floor

For Mary to pick up?

Did Mary ever spank him? G

Ahh, does the Bible say? D

Did Jesus scream and holler G

When things didn’t go His way? Em-A7

I know He was a baby, D

But I wonder what He did

When He was about, my age, A7

When Jesus was a kid? A7-D

Did He have birthday parties?

I like to think He might

But then I have to wonder,

Well, like, who did He invite?

Were there other kids in bathrobes

Who played tag the way we do?

Was He bummed out when His birthday gifts

Said “Merry Christmas” too!?

Did Jesus put on sunscreen,

Or did He wear a floppy hat?

Living in a desert, you can sunburn,

(snap!) Just like that!

And He prob’ly hated eating

‘Camel milk with mushy peas’

Or can Saviors just get out of

Eating gross things when They please?

N’He prob’ly hoped His Dad would let Him

Have a B-B gun

I mean His father Joseph,

You know, not the other One

It’s not like it’s a war toy,

Jesus wouldn’t hurt a flea.

And He’d never point at anyone,

He’d be as safe as me!

And if His mother found it,

She wouldn’t make a scene

She’d NEVER hide it in the attic,

No, she was NOT that mean!

He wanted “Peace On Earth”

And “Good Will” to kids

I mean He was a kid Himself,

So I’m sure He really did

We fight wars and we spill oil.

We mess up the sand.

I bet a kid like Jesus

Prob’ly wouldn’t understand

He’d see us Christmas shoppers

Trying hard to close our eyes

To the homeless people sleeping

Near expensive stuff we buy

I might be wrong,

But I’m a kid too, so I might be right

If we asked that kid Jesus,

“Is all this stuff all right?

Can we buy Christmas spirit

If we spend lots of dough?”

Well I think that kid Jesus,

Would just say “No!”

Christmas isn’t about shopping,

It’s about the way we care

It’s thinking “What would that kid Jesus

Do if He was here?”

So if some kid you know,

Messes up something they did,

Remember, Jesus was a human too,

When He was a kid

Acting like a kid at Christmas,

Should not be a sin

So remember when we do it,

We’re only acting just like Him!

So this Christmas, let’s just BE NICE

To each other, don’t you see?

When Jesus was a kid,

He was a lot like you and me!

When Jesus was a kid,

He needed love like you and me!

Written by Peter Alsop, ©1991, Moose School Music (BMI)

Illustration by Bill Buerge. Check it out on Bandcamp!

The idea for this song came to me in the late ‘80s driving to San Diego to train school teachers how to use music to help kids with drug and child abuse prevention. I’d just finished a song for kids about how we can set healthy boundaries and how to just say ‘No!’, when something doesn't feel safe, or when it feels like someone is lying to us or trying to manipulate us.

I happened to tune in on a conservative Christian talk show. The host was making some pretty mean-spirited comments telling us that we are all sinners. He said pretty soon Jesus was coming back again from where-ever He’d gone, … and He was really upset with us sinners! The host asked us to pray and send money to his station. He was going to count to three, and the he wanted us all together to say “Yes!” at the same time!

And right at that minute I thought “If Jesus came back right now, … I’m sure He would ‘Just Say NO!’ to you! He’d set a big healthy boundary about all the shame and guilt stuff you’re handing out to everyone!”

I majored in ‘Religion’ at Trinity College in Connecticut, because the world has a wide assortment of people with powerful beliefs about their religions, and I love hearing about all of them.

This radio host got me thinking about what thoughts Jesus would have had about all this stuff we do every year, when he was just a kid. Maybe if we pay closer attention the kids in our lives today, ‘listen’ to them more closely instead of telling them what we think they ‘should’ do.

We might rediscover our sense of holiness that seems to be missing. Being alive together here on this planet, we get occasional glimpses of our very special sacredness. Where does that awareness go? Can we simply make an effort to work harder on caring about and loving each other? Will that make it come back? Can we simply make a conscious effort to open our own hearts, whenever we hug a loved one or when we see beauty around us or in others? I hear the songs from the people of the world, full of joy and sadness, fear and anger, and their feelings touch me with their music. How about you? I’d love to hear how you feel and what you think about this.

And ‘Yes’, … if we open our hearts, we become vulnerable, but when we do, we also make room to feel love that can guide us through the challenges we will meet as we face this new, exciting year ahead of us.

Now we’re here.

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