How to Help Someone Who Is Suicidal 🧡 I Struggled with Suicidal Thoughts for Six Years

Jellis Vaes

If you rather like to watch the video on YouTube, you can do so here: https://youtu.be/yZJ7U9BXG10

If there is one topic in this world that I don’t mind taking a risk being judged, despised or condemned for, it is suicide. Even though it is not easy for me to talk about it publicly, I feel that the importance of talking about it outweighs everything else—knowing how easy it can happen to ANYONE.

Whoever you are, if you’re reading this text or listening to this episode, you have my deepest respect. Thank you for keeping yourself informed about suicide and how to help someone who is suicidal.

Suicide is a heavy topic. It is a confusing topic. And it is a topic that is hard to understand. Yet, it is real. It happens every day. But it is people like you who can help to decrease these numbers.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you again for being here.

Timestamps:

Intro [00:00]

Top 3 Questions People Ask Me About Suicide

• Why did you feel suicidal? [9:01]
• Do you feel happy today? [26:25]
• Do you still think about suicide? [29:06]

How to Help Someone with Suicidal Thoughts

• The Lessons I Learned Working at the Suicide Hotline [30:37]
• The Do's and Don'ts of Suicide Prevention

DO NOT:

• Trivialize [36:45]
• Inflict guilt [37:55]
• Say it will be fine [39:01]

DO:

• Listen with the intent to understand [40:02]
• Have/Show empathy [42:00]
  
• Conclusion on How to Help Someone with Suicidal Thoughts [45:00]

Questions:

It is important to ask questions that cannot merely be answered with a simple yes or no. To learn more about this and how to have more meaningful conversations, check out the video we made and posted on the YouTube channel of The IPS Project: “Three Golden Rules for More Meaningful Conversations”.

https://youtu.be/lfTpHkhM490

Phase 1: Questions to measure the acuteness/seriousness of the situation

• Do you often think about suicide? How often?
• Do you feel you lose control sometimes?
• Do you have concrete plans for the future?
• Does thinking about your own death reduce you to tears?
• How soon would you want to commit suicide?
• Have you ever talked with anyone about this?
• How have the past months been for you?

Phase 2: Questions to better understand their ‘why’

• What do you seek in suicide?
• What does suicide mean for you?
• What hurts the most in your life right now?
• How does it feel to talk about suicide?
• What is the most difficult thing you are struggling with right now?

Phase 3: Questions to work towards a solution—Reason for Living

• What is stopping you from committing suicide?
• Why do you think suicide is the only solution?
• Could it be that somehow you do not want to commit suicide?
• What changes would you like to see in your life?