169 - Give Me Stock Buybacks or Give Me Death

Heat Death of the Universe

Competitive grave digging in "vampiric" Eastern Europe. The world's tallest jail—who dare says the US can't still aspire to greatness? In China, fifty year old "Uncle Chen" can beat the average marathon time—while chain-smoking the whole way. The constellation of handlers, pharmacists, and groper-conversion-therapists that comprise "Joe Biden" asked the "Presidential Emergency Board" to weigh in on the nightmarish and recently revisited railroad union "negotiations," only to discover the irrefutable fact that "capital investment and risk are the reasons for their profits, not any contributions from labor". There's an epidemic-level population of enraged upper-class nose-biters out there. Heroic man in Japan harasses cops every 6 minutes for 9 days straight. US continues to steal 80% of Syria's oil supply while occupying 1/3 of its landmass. Rightwing lunatics continue to get angry at LGBT books while enlisting their daughters in pedo-parades.
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General Recommendations

• JD's Recommendation: Weak Hero Class 1
• JNM's Recommendations: 1) Pepsi, Where's My Jet? 2) 'Union Joe' Biden sells out railworkers

Further Reading, Viewing, Listening

• Grave Diggers Get Down And Dirty At International Competition
• The Jailscraper vs. Chinatown: NYC Residents Fight Construction of World’s Tallest Jail
• Chain-Smoking Marathoner Finishes In Under 3.5 Hours And He's Done It Before
• The socialist response to US railroads’ false claim that “labor does not contribute to profits”
• Golfer bit off man’s nose in argument over game
• Saitama man arrested for calling police 2,060 times in 9 days to yell at them
• US stealing Syrian national treasure is a long-time crime
• The Cradle (search: Syrian oil)
• Louisiana Launches Tip Line to Accuse Librarians of ‘Sexualizing Children’

Locationless Locations

• heatdeathpod.com
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• Twitter: @heatdeathpod
• Please send all Letters of Derision, Indifference, Inquiry, Mild Elation, et cetera to: [e-mail]

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