3: When Being a Healthy Mom Has Nothing To Do With Your Kids

Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast

Find the full transcript for this episode at www.healthymomafterdivorce.com/3.

Ok so maybe you already know this about me … or maybe you don’t. I am a health nut. And the reason I am so passionate about health is because it feels like an untapped resource for most of us. Let me explain.

When you ask most people about what it means to be a good mom, you usually get the same sort of answers:

• Being a good mom means putting your kids first.
• Being a good mom means showing up to every game.
• Being a good mom means being available to your kids.
• Being a good mom means giving them healthy food.

All fine. All true.

BUT … do you notice a common theme there? Most of the typical responses have to do with what moms are doing directly FOR their kids.

As divorced moms, this tendency to just focus on what the kids need is amplified. We are wearing so many hats that doing anything for ourselves feels selfish and wrong.

And there’s nothing wrong with focusing on the kids. In fact, we should all endeavour to do these things.

But what I am here to talk about is how to be a good mom in a way that is not directly FOR your kids, but instead, directly for YOU and, consequently, indirectly for your kids.

We hear over and over: put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.

When’s the last time you thought about looking after your kids in the framework of looking after you first?

When we are running around, putting out fires, packing lunches (every. single. day.), racing kids around to practices and games, bringing in a paycheck to buy groceries and pay the bills, wiping their tears when they are struggling at school, we are taking care of them in a direct way. We are putting on their oxygen mask.

But are you wearing YOUR oxygen mask?

I’d like to share with you what my mask looks like. It looks like this:

• healthy eating
• regular exercise
• at least 7 hours of sleep/night
• daily reading
• lots of water
• meditation
• taking the time to decompress when needed
• just sitting down for a few minutes and being with my thoughts

If I don’t do these things for myself, I have no fuel left. Nothing else to give. I have low energy, I feel uncomfortable, my patience is low … and my fuse is short. I don’t know about you but that’s not how I want to show up for my kids.

I feel like most moms agree with this in general. They see the merits of looking after themselves and know it’s a good idea. But where most people get tripped up is having the time.

If I ask just about anyone why they aren’t doing these healthy habits, the answer is almost always: I don’t have the time.

On this episode, I will share with you how I overcome this barrier and how you can too.

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