Episode 72 - More White Boy Shit

Great And Spacious Podcast

Send us a Cellular Epistle

In this episode of the "Great and Spacious Podcast," we kick off with a deep dive into the world of Olympic-sized controversy, where we dissect the great American pastime of getting offended. This time, the target is the French and their opening ceremony that some Christians found a tad too "woke." Never ones to shy away from mockery, we take shots at the critics and even manage to rope Jesus into the mix—imagining him turning water into wine at a Bacchanalian bash.
Oh, and in true chaotic fashion, there’s a household disaster involving a broken fridge that somehow becomes a running gag. The solution? The "Lama-Nasty" cocktail—a little something we whipped up to numb the pain. Cheers to that!
Scriptures+: [00:16:23]
Welcome to our "Scriptures & Church Teachings" segment, where reverence takes a backseat and sarcasm drives. This time, we're diving into Doctrine and Covenants sections 30 to 32, where God seems to have handed out revelation like participation trophies. We question why David Whitmer gets chewed out for being too worldly, while Peter Whitmer Jr. is basically told to obey his brother like some ancient sibling rivalry never quite resolved. John Whitmer gets the divine equivalent of a GPS, and Thomas B. Marsh is reassured that his family's eventual conversion is in the bag.
And then there’s Philip Burroughs—who was literally just some guy who was a landmark. We top it off with a look at a church video trying to define "Lamanites" today, which is as clear as mud. Expect some major eye-rolling.
History: [00:46:31]
In our history segment, Abigail imagines the unfiltered chaos of live podcasting. From there, we tear into a hymn by W.W. Phelps, titled "Oh, Stop and Tell Me, Red Man." Let’s just say, it doesn’t exactly pass the vibe check.
Next, we delve into the heavy history of Native American suffering during the 1830s, courtesy of the Indian Removal Act and the Trail of Tears. Naturally, the early Mormon missionaries saw this as prime real estate for proselytizing. We critique their misguided zeal as they tried to spin genocide as some kind of divine gathering of Israel. Classy.
But it gets better. We recount the so-called "Lamanite Mission," where the missionaries eagerly approach the Seneca tribe, only to get politely dismissed—because, shocker, they weren’t interested. The real kicker? The mission’s success comes from converting a bunch of white settlers in Kirtland, while the Native Americans essentially told them to take a hike.
The segment wraps up with the missionaries’ continued misadventures, including their awkward encounters with the Wyandot tribe. They didn’t convert a single Native American but sure made a lot of friends among the white settlers. Mission accomplished? Not quite.

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