S18 E06/07: Hometowns baby! Our remaining 3 show Matt a little taste of their roots (I.e. bike riding, sky diving, off roading, and Canadian trivia?) and he meets a few of the people who raised these lovely ladies. We’re nearing the finish line and boy oh boy here come fantasy suites everyone ready or not!…

S18 E04/05: Hey there couchers! We’re summing up the past two weeks in the pod and you know it includes Victoria’s VERY questionable fashion “choices,” the ladies erotica (brought to you by Chris Harrison’s erotica) and everything in between! Let’s get into it.

S18 E02/03: We cover some ground this week with two one on ones and two group dates. We saw the girls run through the woods in tattered wedding dresses and heard some NSFW renditions of what they’d *ahem* do with Matt (Same tho baby girls). Of course we cover the Sarah drama, is it real or is it for attention we may never know and for god sakes Mat…

S25 E01: We’ve got new blood on the bachelor scene and the sharks are circling. So far so good as Matt welcomes the largest incoming class of bachelor women yet! Let’s just say there are a few choices that should be easy...

S17 E12: You know what, we’re happy for these crazy kids. Zac really won us all over in the end who would have thought! I hope he wasn’t lying about wanting kids and they live happily ever after! Now give us Matt.

S17 E10-11: Hometowns people!! One of our favorite weeks of the season. We will catch up with the final four fams as well as the men’s tell all which was just the right amount of brief. Families were flown in and the herd is further culled. Fantasy Suites here we come!

S17 E09: Let us just say on the record, if ya girl and her friend pull out a polygraph machine, it’s time to see yourself out. This episode was about telling some tough truths my god! But it just showed us what a refreshingly complex group of men entered this season. We’ve got two weeks and four episodes until the finale on the 22nd and with 8 guys…

S17 E07/08: This week we covered a lot of grown with the past two episodes. Ivan is a king and Bennet is loosing us with his petty. Remember gentlemen, Tayshia is looking for a “grown ass man!” We are two-ish weeks from the end and there are still so many dudes left!! This is about to be a wild ride without a doubt (as if it weren’t already). Hold …

S17 E06: This week you could cut the tension with a knife as no neck Ed and Chasen went after it. Turns out Ed is all bark and no bite. Chronically dislocating shoulders my ass. We also learned the important lesson that if you’re going to serve yourself as breakfast in bed, you better be hiding some bacon and eggs somewhere! Periodt.…

S17 E05: Listen, we finally have the bachelorette we wanted and needed. Tayshia is a delight to watch and the interlude with Dale and Clare was uncalled for and unnecessary. Bring on this season it is reborn!

S17 E04: Ring the church bells and get your glad rags! Dale and Clare are engaged!! Jk we couldn’t care less honestly. It’s episode 4 people this thing is far from over. We’ve got a new president and a new bachelorette this week and things are looking up!

S17 E03: We began this week SPECTACULARLY with Yosef condemning Clare on her choice (?) to have the other men play strip dodgeball. Their conversation only got worse from there. Clare spends the rest of the episode locking lips with Dale at every opportunity and doing her best to forget she’s the bachelorette.…

S17 E2: Two group dates and a one on one oh my! This week we had some juicy moments no doubt. Between everyone feeling up Clare (and Clare feeling up Dale), pissed off men in just a jockstrap, and Jason screaming into the desert then helping to burn her dress from Juan Pablos season, there’s something for the whole family!…

S17 E1: Boy oh boy are we in for it ladies and gentlemen. We got a bleak glimpse into the men’s quarantine while Clare squared her shoulders to find the man of her dreams only to instantly fall for the hottest contender on the block. Like we get it but...cmon.

S17 E0: WOW. How far we’ve come since Peter. We’re different people now. It’s a different world. What am I? Who are we? What is the Bachelorette? Let’s rediscover ourselves in what could actually be the most dramatic season ever.

S16 E12-13: Ladies and gentleman, we bring Peter’s season to a close this week. And what have we learned? Peter is a boy, not yet a man and needs to get away from BARB. Blink twice Pete. Now we wait and see how producers handle a Bachelorette season during a global pandemic. It could actually be the most dramatic season yet.…

S16 E11: Keep your arms and legs in the ride at all times bc this tell all is a rollercoaster. We start with a rose ceremony, Chris gets into champagne gate 2020 and point blank asks Victoria if she’s broken up marriages. We also get a glimpse into the depth of human depravity with the reading of hate mail to the women of the bachelor and CFTC was …

S16 E10: Webster’s Dictionary defines Fantasy as “the power or process of creating especially unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to psychological need.” Used in a sentence, Peter’s relationship with Victoria F is a fantasy.

S16 E09: it’s back to the homestead for our girls. 3 go great and one goes awful. But guess who he still gives a rose to? I think you can figure it out. Long story short, turns out Pete’s a messy bitch who loves drama!

S16 E08: Howdy do we’re in Peru! It’s getting down to wire folks and Peter has some tough decisions to make. What may have been obvious choices to some were confounding to our leading man. Will he regret what he’s done? We hope so.

S16 E06/07 - 5 hours of Bachelor later and what even happened everyone? This past week really separated the men from the boys when it came to viewing commitment. But don’t worry, we relived it all for you guys because lord knows we needed to refresher!

S16 E05: The producers this week are in fact just sitting back and watching their evil plans unfold before them. Victoria F’s ex, country artist Chase Rice, serenades her and Peter as he vibes blissfully unaware. Alayah comes back to “set the record straight” and ends up staying after which the girls practically have an uprising. To Be Continued...…

S16 Ep03: Feminism took an L this Monday with a lingerie pillow fight however Peter gets down to business to sniff out who in the house is FAKE! Surprise it’s exactly who you think.

S16 E02: Nothing helps intense social anxiety like a new collection from Revolve and VABeach Vicky completes a compelling character arc on this debatably problematic group date. Can Peter see through Hannah Ann’s calculated advances? Idk she’s pretty hot. Find out this week on CFTC!

S16 E01: The time is nigh! Our boyish bachelor is on the market and the girls are hungry for some Peter. They’re giving us old flames, new flames, rivalry and some questionable insinuations. This premier had some very real turbulence and we are in fact #shooketh.

It’s time to meet our contestants! Cast bios are out and we’ve got a real diverse group of women this season with 3 flight attendants and not 1, not 2, but 6 former and current pageant queens. But can one break free from the pack and secure Peters heart? Time will tell. Get after it ladies!

During Hannah Brown’s well deserved DWTS win, we all got our first look at Peter’s upcoming season and boy oh boy we’ll have our hands full! Ladies and gentleman make sure your seats and tray tables are in their upright positions because this ride is gonna get bumpy!

S06 Ep13: There’s a nip in the air but this finale is hot hot hot! The cast drags up dead and buried drama and new love is born. PS Pilot Pete for Bachelor 2020

S06 Ep07-12: It’s the end of Paradise as we know it. No cocktail party we’re getting right to the nitty gritty. Who is all in and who is all the way gone. One more episode people!!

S06 Ep03-06: BIP can be a lovers paradise. However, it can also test you physically and stretch you to your furthest emotional lengths. This week we see Blake confront rejection, Jordan throw a grown man, JPJ recite Shakespeare almost from memory and the Bachelor Nation welcome Demi’s GF Kristian into the fold. Try to keep up!…

S15 E11 - S06 E02: Bring some water and a snack because we cover a lot of ground this episode. We’re talking Men’s Tell All, we’re talking Finale Part 1 & 2, and of course the new season of Paradise. Luke P is trash, Jed doesn’t deserve Hannah, Hannah doesn’t deserve Tyler and Blake deserves no one. Hope you got on board this crazy train is leaving…

S15 E10: It’s every woman’s fantasy! 4 separate nights with 4 separate men. A pilot, a contractor, a musician and a man trying to save your soul from your “hoe” ways. What a dream!

S15 E09: Hometowns!!! All the families of our final 4 gentlemen have the pleasure of meeting Ms. Hannah Brown. Let’s just say some are more enthusiastic than others.

S15 E8: One on ones are coming at us hard and fast this week in preparation for hometowns. We see what Amsterdam has to offer as Hannah and her crew explore it’s cuisine and culture. That means pickled herring on horseback, getting your portrait painted and lots of charcuterie.

S15 E07: This episode hit some highs and some lows. Hannah experiences the thrill of naked bungee jumping with Garrett before immediately feeling the oppressively toxic weight of Luke’s unwarranted disapproval. She’s serenaded by Jed and gets steamy with Peter in a Latvian sauna (thank you abc). What could be next!…

S15 E06: Grab a mug cause we’re steeping a hot pot of tea on the newest Bach scandal. Luke P still sucks and Tyler C is still hot as Hannah struggles with her faith in the “journey.” But don’t worry, she may be uncertain but she’s no quitter/contractually obligated.

S15 E05: Hold on to your kilts because this week the gang touches down in Scotland and immediately runs amok. We’ll rank this weeks makeouts and attempt to decipher any of what Hannah and the Lukeness Monster said to one another on those moors.

S15 E04: Hannah and her gentlemen take this show on the road to the glitz and glamor of Boston Massachusetts by way of Newport Rhode Island! **WARNING** Some egos and lobsters were harmed in the making of this episode.

S15 E3: This episode had it all. Joy, pain, jealousy, IV fluids, tailgates, and more surveillance by Demi. Had a hard time following? So did we.

S15 E02: Hannah B. and dates hit the runway, dabble in roller derby, and make some meaningful connections. Sit on down and we'll get into it!