Tammy (Child Custody Coach) shares her experience and insights gained from her own divorce and subsequent step family. She also worked alongside her late husband, Attorney Thomas D. Ferreira, for over 15 years as a paralegal and mediator before beginning her child custody coaching practice in 2019. Thomas passed away on May 1, 2023 and Tammy continues to share the wisdom she gained from Thomas through the years as well as her own perspective. Tammy specializes in helping parents who are deal ...
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Fighting a Corrupt Child Custody System
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Fighting a Corrupt Child Custody System – Episode 316 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you walk out of Court over and over and are not happy with the outcome, it can start to feel like the system is rigged or that you’re dealing with bias. And, that may be true. But, whether it’s true or not, in order to succeed, you need to know how …
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Child Custody Is Never Fair
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Child Custody Is Never Fair – Episode 315 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Fairness is our inherent expectation from the justice system. Anyone new to the child custody process quickly becomes disillusioned when they realize that fairness is nowhere in the equation. And how you conduct yourself in light of this realization can make or brea…
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Your Attorney’s Agenda in Child Custody
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Your Attorney’s Agenda in Child Custody – Episode 314 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Complaints about attorney’s frequently come up in conversations about child custody. Some of this is because attorneys are inherently bad at explaining things in simple easy to understand language for clients. And some of it is because clients are so uni…
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The Power of Poise – Episode 313 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Maintaining poise is an overlooked advantage in child custody. The ability to maintain poise can give you credibility with the Court, help you to gain a mental advantage over your ex, and help you feel more empowered in the process. You never get a second chance to make a go…
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Pacing When Communicating with a Narcissist
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Pacing When Communicating with a Narcissist – Episode 312 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Pacing is a great technique that I rarely hear talked about in communicating with a narcissist. It can slow their attacks, stop the incessant arguing and best of all, put you back in control of the conversation. Pacing can also bring peace to the cha…
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Should I or Shouldn’t I – Episode 311 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I often get asked by clients if they should or shouldn’t bring up a concern or something they are worried about regarding their coparent. Does it make them look difficult? Does it matter? Will the Court care? In this episode, I’ll give you some criteria to help you know…
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When the Narcissist Texts You: The Anxiety and Chaos Inside
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When the Narcissist Texts You: The Anxiety and Chaos Inside – Episode 310 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all know that feeling, when you see your narcissist’s name pop up on your phone or when you get a message notice and you are immediately triggered. Your emotional world starts spinning out of control and you haven’t even opened the…
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My Ex Is the Problem – Episode 309 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I get it, I have an ex too and yes, many times our ex causes all kinds of drama and problems that effect the kids. But, if you go into Court trying to convince your Judge that your ex is the problem, things probably will not go well for you. Often, after about five minutes…
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Legal Custody Disagreements
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Legal Custody Disagreements – Episode 308 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, legal custody issues are often difficult to navigate. If you are unable to reach agreement then filing in Court becomes the necessary step to resolve issues. But, that obviously gets very expensive and very stressf…
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It Takes A Village – Episode 307 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We’ve all heard this expression especially when it comes to the physical labor of raising children. But your village is just as important to the emotional support of both you and your children. So, who should be part of your village? And how can you ensure that you are lever…
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What Is Your Priority? – Episode 306 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your priority your ex or your kids? Now, I think any parent would say, the kids of course. But we often, unintentionally, communicate to the court and other experts that our ex is the priority. This happens through the behaviors we exhibit and the language we use not …
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It's the Little Things – Episode 305 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, it’s often the little things that become the most frustrating. I’ve seen many clients who come out of Court and realize many of the details of their situation did not get addressed. And even when they do get addressed,…
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When Your Child Refuses To Go
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When Your Child Refuses to Go – Episode 304 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Children refusing to transition to the other parent can become a very problematic issue in child custody. We tend to see this more frequently in the teenage years but I have seen it happen even with young children. Sometimes, it can be so severe that a child will …
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How to Feel Certain in Child Custody
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How to Feel Certain in Child Custody – Episode 303 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel certain about things that are familiar. But the entire child custody process is full of unfamiliar things. And, to boot, if you’re coming out of a narcissistic relationship, you’ve probably been stripped of the ability to trust yourself, whi…
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The Enormity of the Tedium
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The Enormity of the Tedium – Episode 302 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time. I’m sure you’ve heard that joke before but it’s no joke when you are dealing with the overwhelm that comes from the family court process. In this episode, I’ll help you understand some of the tedious aspects of court and…
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Determining What Is Important in Child Custody
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Determining What Is Important in Child Custody – Episode 301 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the biggest struggles I see for parents is understanding what is and isn’t important to the Court in your child custody case. What seems logical to us is not always what is important to the Court. Parents often focus on whether they are a b…
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The Narcissist is the Key
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The Narcissist is the Key – Episode 300 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I know, you’re thinking the key to what? We often think of all the negatives that come from having been in a narcissistic relationship: the trauma, the frustration, the ongoing parenting conflict, and the list goes on. But like any trial in life, there are also positi…
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Custody is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
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Custody is a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Episode 299 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The Courts have both short-term and long-term issues to resolve in custody cases. When cases start of with a “bang” like a domestic violence filing or emergency orders, the Court is looking at short-term issues. When the outcome is unfavorable to us, we ofte…
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You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case
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You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case – Episode 298 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re in Court it’s easy to feel like everyone else is in control, your attorney, the judge, the experts and that you have no say. You actually have the option to advocate for yourself, even if you have an attorney, if you know how to navigate…
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Trust the Process – Episode 297 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trusting the process can be very difficult, especially when you have a negative outcome in your first interaction with the Court. Many times, our own emotional patterns work against us in trusting the process. There are reasons that the Court does things in particular order a…
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Expectations vs Reality in Child Custody
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Expectations vs Reality in Child Custody – Episode 296 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are dealing with child custody issues, we have expectations of our children, our co-parent and most of all the Court. But when our expectations don’t match reality, we end up feeling all kinds of negative emotions like frustration, anxiety, depr…
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Finding a Narcissist’s Kryptonite
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Finding a Narcissist’s Kryptonite – Episode 295 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with a narcissist is all about regaining the emotional power. There are ways that you can do this, even if it feels impossible. In this episode, I’ll give you my top three tips to accomplish this and one of them you will be able to start immediately! T…
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What You Say vs What You Do
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What You Say vs What You Do – Episode 294 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you consistent? Consistency creates credibility with the Court. Often, we recognize inconsistency in our ex, the Courts, or other professionals but it’s easy to miss your own inconsistent behavior. When the Court feels that your words match your actions, you hav…
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The Power of Doing Nothing
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The Power of Doing Nothing – Episode 293 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you m…
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Early Decisions Are the Most Impactful
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Early Decisions Are the Most Impactful – Episode 292 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The dec…
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