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Delusions Of Grandeur

Emily Gadek & Kelly Jones

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Emily and Kelly grew up before Star Wars returned to the big screen—when novels were fans' only hope. Now, they're re-reading them with fresh eyes for plot twists, new characters, and surprisingly apt socio-political themes. Delusions of Grandeur is a podcast about the good, the bad, and the truly bizarre stories of the Star Wars novels. delusionspod.com
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First blogged on Movies Galore of Milwaukee, then morphed into a podcast/ review channel called Inside Movies Galore realized i had a stronger voice than the group I found intellectuals with and created Delusions of Grandeur I enjoy movies of all genres so enjoy the reviews... Cover art photo provided by Adam Birkett on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/@abrkett
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Delusions of Grandeur is a weirdo best friend art collective from Canada, established by Janet and Carmen in 2013. We write, we draw, we paint, we dance, we dick…around. We’ve been podcasting since 2020. The concept is simple: two bi-coastal besties, two microphones, a topic, and a little weed. War. Climate change. COVID-19. The culture wars. You will find none of that here. Delusions of Grandeur is a podcast of lighthearted philosophical banter. Join Carmen and Janet as they explore topics ...
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Fair warning: if you identify as a woman or a Mon Calamari, there's not much to appreciate about these chapters. Leia finally gets to go out with her family — to eat a salad. Admiral Ackbar can't even make it past the Corneria mission in Star Fox 64 — despite being a revered war vet. Qwi Xux is supposedly a brilliant scientist — but more importantl…
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This is really a book about getting the gang back together if you think about it! Luke asks the New Republic for some PTO to head off with Callista to find the Force on an ice resort for rich people (we don't get it either). Kyp Durran is allowed to graduate to full Jedi and just...peace out to go after a vague hunch (talk about the Luke Skywalker …
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Now that we're done with the Dune stuff, things are getting stranger. The Hutts raid Coruscant's central computer with the help of slapstick weasels. Luke decides to graduate three students who just "feel ready" - including tipped turbolaser Kyp Durron, so that he can get the New Republic to approve his PTO. No one on Yavin 4 acknowledges the total…
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With great personal bravery, we continue with the "Callista Trilogy" and crack open Kevin J. Anderson's Darksaber: a book that would like you to find fellow Star Wars Fans on the World Wide Web. Although the cover would suggest that an Empire era Luke Skywalker is embracing life as a bisexual icon alongside his devoted friend Kurt Russell, most of …
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What is there to say about these chapters? Our intrepid hosts take a cue from Lando, light up a metaphorical cigarette with our electronic space jackets, and lie down on a cosmic people mover to be passively borne towards an unsatisfying conclusion. In the end, Vuffi Raa abandons his brief career as a fashion accessory to chose true love over being…
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Patreon's prompt for this description is, "Why do you create?" And honestly, when the source material is this bad, it's a great question. Mostly to yell about someone else's art, I guess? Anyway: join us as we traipse from sabacc table to sabacc table — from tapcafé to tapcafé — at the whim of a threatening magician, to discover what the actual hec…
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Don't you just wish, though. Don't you just wish in your heart of hearts that some Skywalker would come up in here trying something froggy...and then two very intelligent women would stun him right in the face? In the exciting conclusion to this mostly incredible novel: Luke's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week comes to a close and he gets …
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Luke Skywalker, whose leg is about to fall off, processes his trauma by banging it out on the astral plane. Leia Organa of the Alderaanian Organas leans on her training in royal eyelash batting to avoid execution and spends a night in white-collar prison curled up with a good book. This week's chapters are full of $5 words...including ones made up …
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Another valiant battle to make it through four chapters of this fine novel! Luke and Callista come up with a plan to distract the Gamorreans holding Cray. While they're building it, they lie around on the office floor having deep freshman year conversations about their childhoods and why the Force is just like, the best. Threepio uses the power of …
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Luke Skywalker's no good, very bad day continues as he and Threepio amp up their search for Cray (now on trial for treason) and he runs into some old Tatooine acquaintances. It becomes more and more clear that the Will has absolutely noticed what Luke's up to and is trying its best to ensure he has a convenient accident. But there's another, more h…
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We're not entirely sure what it says about us or him, but we love a concussed Luke Skywalker. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you thought the trauma of needing his bones replaced in Truce at Bakura was bad, wait til you get a load of this Luke: he's got migraines, he's got collapsing lungs, he's taken an axe to his Achilles...and somehow he's still exploring an enormous …
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Sometimes, you simply cannot get through five chapters of a Star Wars because there is TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. A cover that gives Luke Skywalker an insane glow-up (and a normal haircut for once), and shows the Falcon at her best (flying off into a romantic sunset). A book that's unafraid to begin with the number one scourge of the 90s (ACID RAIN) a…
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Our intrepid hosts finish this best-selling book! Before we dive into the action, we undertake a wide ranging investigation into Corran Horn's height, and whether or not he qualifies not only as Best Boy, but also Short King. Then it's back to Black(moon), baby, for a rollercoaster of emotion as Wedge does what Wedge does best and Corran hides in a…
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How come they always read like fan fic except in the ways you want them to?! These chapters are full of horniness and a big ol' flirt triangle...but have absolutely no making out whatsoever for incredibly convoluted reasons we just can't parse. Wedge (aka "Veggie") leads most of the gang back to Blackmoon (except for Erisi who is pining for Corran …
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We could call this Ch. 26-30 of Rogue Squadron but it's maybe more accurate to say we're diving in to How To Blow Up A Pipeline by Horton Salm? Rogue Squadron et al. get their shit rocked at Blackmoon thanks to Bothan overconfidence. Corran dreams of making out with Erisi in a Windows '95 desktop image. Just as he's on his way to getting well and t…
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Corran Horn pulls off a bonkers maneuver that saves the whole Squadron — and also gets him accused of Lite Treason (TM) / confined to his quarters. The rest of the crew feels sorry for him, but not so sorry that they refrain from either making out with each other in said quarters...or trying to make out with him due to battle victory horniness. Mir…
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Buckle up as our hosts follow Rogue Squadron into combat once more! First, there's some very fancy flying, followed by much unfancy drinking out of what one can only assume are space Solo cups (is Han Solo secret heir to a cup fortune? Is this where the $ for his teen swoop racing career came from?). The drinking leads to some extremely complex emo…
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Our intrepid hosts survive their first space battle alongside Corran Horn (with heavy assist from patrons who explained how gravity actually works). Wedge engages in a battle of bureaucracy and gets his ass handed to him. We learn more about Ysanne "Iceheart" Isard's background and her mysterious ability to be both middle aged and attractive AT THE…
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Okay so you know how we've talked before about the lack of sex in Star Wars...well, that doesn't mean that there's a total lack of intimacy, as evidenced by Wedge Antilles' VERY HOT, VERY PUBLIC relationship with his X-Wing. A lot of stuff happens in these chapters (solid legal counsel, team bonding, Han Solo hot goss, a terrifying journey through …
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WEDGE WATCH! By super popular demand, it's time to embark on our epic one-book* foray into the X-Wing Series with Rogue Squadron by Michael A. Stackpole. Right away, we've got a simulated space battle (because of course), some highly questionable military decision-making (slash: war crimes), and a bad guy who fancies himself a taller, hotter Grand …
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Coming at you with a quick palate cleanser between Shadows of the Empire and Rogue Squadron — and a kind of literal one, too, since one of these stories involves the madcap adventures of Jabba's classically-trained chef as he tries to clear his name in the wake of a slew of murders-by-beignet. We've also got a story from a Canadian-American husband…
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In the final chapters of this saga, a book that started off at a jewelry-making retreat before taking a hard left into sexual assault finally resolves in full-out slapstick comedy. Our heroes trek through a sewer and douse themselves in literal shit. Chewie, bless his heart, goes sprawling in the middle of an ambush following a Looney Tunes-style s…
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We're back, baby! What's going on again? Ah, yes: Xizor's recovering from getting kicked in the balls by eating some rare and exotic fruit. No sooner do Luke and Lando park the Falcon in Coruscant’s famed frozen shrimps district than they are joined somewhat inexplicably by Dash Rendar. Leia brushes off her old gymnastics routine. Vader painstaking…
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Hey, all! We'll be back from an unanticipated break with the last two episodes of Shadows soon. But we wanted to let you know that our patrons have selected our next book: we'll be diving into Michael A. Stackpole's Rogue Squadron, the first X-Wing novel (as soon as we wrap things up with Xizor and co., that is). If you want to read along, you'll h…
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We know some of our listeners are reading along with your kids, so a content warning: these chapters includes discussion of an extended sexual assault scene that’s probably not appropriate for younger listeners (and maybe not a choice for all adults, either). Before we dive in, Kelly reports back from the 25th anniversary screening of The Phantom M…
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Did something finally happen in these chapters or do Kelly and Emily just have space Stockholm syndrome?? The action is finally picking up: Xizor contemplates creating some deepfake nudes of Leia and then trims his bonsai (not a metaphor). Vader gets real mad his boss sent him to pick up his son from jail. Threepio commits a felony with a cheerful …
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Vader and Xizor ratchet up their game of mutual spying and lying. Leia waits around a casino until Guri’s busy schedule of murdering unruly Black Sun associates clears up. Luke and Dash intercept a message from a Bothan spy who may or may not be just a human guy (?) and end up hijacking a load of literal bullshit. And we are left asking what a Twi’…
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Some things happen in these chapters! Vader stares down a midlife crisis, wondering why being an all-powerful middle manager is not sparking more joy. Xizor and Vader engage in a battle of wits both IRL and over Zoom. Our hosts wonder if schemes are indeed like plants. We find out the basis of the Emperor and Xizor’s friendship (competing over weir…
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We start off with some very important Han Mail as we defend the honor of a woman who definitely did NOT write us a nuanced and thorough review on Audible. And after a digression into the net worth of two of literature's greatest manic pixie dream bosses (Talon Karrde and Mr. Darcy), we dive into Shadows again. We get some insight into our villains …
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We are finally diving into Shadows of the Empire, by which we mean Lucasfilm's Death Star sized 90's marketing machine. For this is no mere book: it is a weird conglomerate of a novel, several comic books, a video game, collectable figurines, an original soundtrack (!) and probably something else we missed. Before we dive into the book itself, Kell…
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Ok, here is the actual show for this week! Apooglies from your very tired delulu crew. It's time for some Han Mail! Plus, a sneak peak of our Patreon bonus episode, A Forest Apart. Listen to chapter one here, or head to our Patreon for the thrilling conclusion: https://www.patreon.com/DelusionsofGrandeurPod. Join us on an adventure where we actuall…
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It's the last set of chapters for Tatooine Ghost! Han Solo finally has a topic for his art history project and it's: "Why My Wife and Her Entire Culture Is Wrong and I Am Right: A Han Solo Thesis." In probably their most relatable moment to date, stormtroopers complain about nepotism (whew brother, wait 'til they learn the truth about the Skywalker…
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Our intrepid heroes finally catch up to the Jawas' sandcrawler only to discover a massive droids' rights violation (and a lot of dead Jawas), but no Kitster. Leia has to pause her grandma's diary to rescue Han from certain death (with a key assist from the Squibs). We find out what stormtrooper armor is actually good for (that sweet built in AC). H…
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Capitalism and corporatism. Capitalism’s nemesis. The shift to the right as you age. The dystopian hell of Communism. Competition. The utopian myth. Capitalism equals freedom, socialism equals poverty. Freedom as a basic human right. The middle path. Universal basic income. The rat race vs. serfdom toil. Ballooning bureaucracies. Loose Larry David.…
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INT. TATOOINE'S FINEST HOTEL AND DAY SPA — MID-MORNING Leia discovers the Tatooine Dream of a Hutt-style jacuzzi. Han unceremoniously rips an IV from his arm for some very dehydrated but only strongly implied sexy times. Shmi's diary entries continue to reveal her inner life, despite how much podracing recaps try to interrupt. Stormtroopers — led b…
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Now that Han Solo is alone with this swoop, things are gonna get more explicit between him and this glorified motorcycle than they ever have with him and Leia. Unfortunately, he does crash and spends the rest of these chapters trying to wring three drops of water out of Tatooine's atmosphere. Leia, Chewie, 3PO, and the Squibs mount a rescue campaig…
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Acceptance over love. Old, gross, and free. The body dysmorphic days of youth. Utilitarian bodies. Has the body positive movement gone too far? Extremely extreme. The Ozempic epidemic. The obsession with skinny. Margarine, bagels, skim milk, and Jane Fonda. Hot dad bods. If Stephen Hawking had been a woman. BMI = Bogus Measurement Index. The microb…
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Our heroes engage in *some* light espionage and *much* dramatic removal of hoods as they chase Killik Twilight and Kitster Banai across Mos Espa. Kitster isn’t home, but they do find the love of C-3P0’s life (Par Ontham’s Guide to Etiquette). And they meet not one, but two of Kitster’s wives, leading to a very tense happy hour. Chewbacca struggles …
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