God-Empowered Families - Part 1 - An overview of Biblical Parenting

Victory Christian Centre, Hutt City, New Zealand

Outline: https://bit.ly/347zD3R

Subtitle: An overview of Biblical Parenting

Today we shift our focus and attention away from "God in Politics" toward "God in the Family".

1. Opening Statements

The basic building block of any society or nation is the family unit

If the family unit is strong then the nation will be strong

If the family unit is weak or broken down, the nation will be weak and broken down

When God counted the nation of Israel, he counted them by their families (Numbers 26:1-5 >)

Numbers 1:2 (NCV)You and Aaron must count all the people of Israel by families and family groups , listing the name of each man.

• To (re)build a nation, God's focusses on (re)building the family, and in particular, the individual within the family
• The seeds of family breakdown are many times sown in people's lives during their childhood, through:
  - Observing dysfunctional family dynamics
  - Lack of proper child training
  - Wrong child training

Proverbs 22:6 (NKJVTrain up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

1. The Goal of your Parenting Efforts

Malachi 2:15 (NLT) Didnt the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And _ what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

• The goal of your parenting efforts is to raise up godly children
• Godly children will eventually become godly adults

As Christian parents, we desire to bring our children up:

To know and serve Jesus Christ as their own personal Lord & Saviour

To become law-abiding citizens and serve their generation

To be contributors to society, rather than takers from society

1. "Google-style" parenting cannot produce "Bible-style" children

Our parenting style shouldn't be a mixture of biblical & worldly parenting philosophies, as this would result in a mixture of godly & ungodly children.

Ephesians 6:4 (NCV) Fathers, do not make your children angry, but raise them with the training and teaching of the Lord.

• Once again, Bible-based parenting will produce bible-based results
  - Make the Word of God the basis of your parenting philosophy
  - Teach your children the Word of God
• Child-centred parenting is a worldly parenting philosophy and will produce self-centred children

Deuteronomy 6:6–9 (NKJV) And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. _ 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children , and_ _ shall talk of them when you sit in your house ,_ _ when you walk by the way, when you lie down , and_ _ when you rise up._ _ 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes._ _ 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates._

Teach the Word of God to your children:

• Talk of them (God's Word) when you sit in your house
• When you walk by the way
• When you lie down
• When you rise up
• In other words, teach them the Word of God at every opportunity

Ephesians 6:1–3 (NCV) _ Children, obey your parents _ as the Lord wants, because this is the right thing to do. _ 2 The command says, " Honor your father and mother." _ This is _ the first command that has a promise with it — 3 _"Then everything will be well with you, and you will have a long life on the earth."

Your most basic task as a Christian parent is to:

• To get your children to obey you
• To get your children to honour and respect you

Honour for father & mother speaks primarily about honour for authority.

• Initially, as a parent, you are your children's Nurturer & Protector
• Then you become their Trainer, Teacher & Coach
• You are their Authority figure
• As they get older, you become their Friend, advisor & counsellor

If you try to be a friend to your children before they recognise you as their authority figure, you will lose all authority and they will see you as their equal.

Of course, you can and should be friend-ly with your children, but you shouldn't try to be their friend until after you have established yourself as their authority.

1. Introducing the tree of the knowledge of good & evil

Genesis 2:8–9 (NIV) Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. _ 9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees _ _grow out of the ground— trees that were pleasing to the eye _ and _ good for food ._ _In the middle of the garden were the tree of life _ and _ the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. _

God made and placed 3 main categories of trees in the Garden of Eden:

1. Beautiful trees including fruit trees everywhere
2. The tree of life middle of the Garden
3. The tree of the knowledge of good & evil middle of the Garden

God gave Adam & Eve permission to partake of all the fruit trees, including the tree of life (vs. 16), but at the same time He forbade them to partake of the tree of the knowledge of good & evil.

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil represents:

• Rules & Boundaries
• NO

Whilst obvious, dangerous and harmful temptation should be removed from children to keep them safe & keep them from getting into trouble, it is very healthy establish rules, boundaries and NO early in their childhood.

If children disobey & partake of the "forbidden tree", there have to be consequences!

• Children may learn from your disapproving words
• But children will really learn from the unpleasant consequences of their disobedience
• Of course, consequences should be:
  - in proportion to their disobedience
  - in keeping with their age
• Parents who constantly shield their children from any consequences of their disobedience will perpetuate disobedience in their children

Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV)Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;__the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV)He who spares his rod hates his son, __but _ he who loves him disciplines him _ _ promptly__ . _

Proverbs 23:13–14 (NLT)_ Don't fail to discipline your children. _ The rod of punishment won't kill them. _ 14 _Physical discipline may well save them from death.

Types of consequences:

• Loss of privilege
• Loss of certain enjoyments

1. Compliance vs Obedience

Compliance is external, obedience is internal.

• Obedience is the joyful carrying out of expectations & requests
• Compliance is the grudging carrying out of expectations & requests.

1. The 7 R's of successful parenting

• Repetition is the mother of all learning
• Routine children thrive in routine
• Rules boundaries
• Reinforcement (positive & negative)
• Recognition catch them doing the right thing
• Re-direction redirect them before they get into trouble
• Rewards reward good behaviour & extraordinary efforts
• Relationships bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor. 15:33)

Be consistent.