Mary Stancavage: Don't Forget the Joy

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Death? That's one of her favorite topics! This is what Mary Stancavage (https://marystancavage.org/) told me, as she joyfully agreed to speak to me.

Understanding that there is death is different than navigating grief. It is dealing with grief that challenges so many of us. And each loss we grieve is different.

Mary shares a story about sitting with family and friends after her brother's funeral and sharing stories and lots of laughter. She wondered, "How is this part of sadness?" Now, she understands that there is not just one emotion that represents grief.

As we sit and move beyond the idle chatter, deeper insights will come. And if you thought that you had put something away, perhaps stuffed down your feelings around the loss of a loved one, don't worry it will find you. And don't worry - because this is a good thing, and part of your practice.

You do not have to do anything, just be with what arises for you. Grief does not have to overtake you. You are not striving for oneness. This is not a competitive event.

And like Mary and her friends and family at her brother's wake, do not forget the joy. There is joy everywhere. And recognizing that joy while you grieve, helps to make you stronger.

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