The Life We’re Looking For

The Art of Manliness

In the quiet moments of our lives, we can all sense that our hearts long for something, though we often don’t know what that something is. We seek an answer in our phones, and while they can provide some sense of extension and fulfillment — a feeling of magic — the use of technology also comes with significant costs in individual development and interpersonal connection that we typically don’t fully understand and consider.

My guest today will unpack what it is we really yearn for, how technology, when misused, can direct us away from the path to fulfilling those yearnings, and how we can find true human flourishing in a world in which so much works against it. His name is Andy Crouch and he’s the author of The Life We’re Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World. Today on the show we talk about the tradeoffs you make when you seek magic without mastery, and how we can understand our desires better once we understand ourselves as heart, soul, mind, and strength complexes who want to be loved and known. We discuss the difference between interactions that are personal versus personalized, as well as the difference between devices and instruments, and how to use your phone as the latter instead of the former. We end our conversation with why Andy thinks we need to redesign the architecture of our relational lives and create something he calls “households.”

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
• Wendell Berry
• AoM article on Plato’s idea of the tripartite nature of the soul
• AoM Podcast #723: Men Without Chests
• AoM Article: The Tool Works on Both Ends
• AoM Article: Communities vs. Networks — To Which Do You Belong?

Connect With Andy Crouch

• Andy’s Website
• Praxis Labs