23: How to Partner with your T1D Teen so Nights are Easier

Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes

Nighttime alarms for your T1D teen’s blood sugar levels are difficult. They bring fear and stress, besides robbing the family of good sleep. How much should the parent be involved in nighttime dosing, and how much ownership should the T1D teen take? Join us for today’s listener question about how that partnership might work.

Show Highlights:

• Guest: Alaina, the mother of Jesse (17) who was diagnosed at age 13
• Their struggles are not in diabetes management but in the social and emotional areas.
• Alaina tries to handle nighttime duties to allow him to get as much sleep as possible so he can be his best for school.
• Alaina’s Question: “How much should I share with him about how much sleep I am losing in managing his care during the night? I don’t want to make him feel guilty, but I do need some sleep!”
• JoAnne’s Answer: “I think every T1D teen is aware that their diagnosis has a huge impact on their parents. I think we can do a better or worse job in managing this and using strategies. Diabetes is a family disease that affects everyone. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with him, and you need to identify what worries you have in being clear with him about the impact his nighttime care is having on you and your sleep. It is good to give him a chance to respond honestly about how this conversation lands with him; it’s fine that it brings discomfort to him, but it’s important to have this assessment. Approach the situation from the viewpoint that you want to partner with him in better nighttime management regarding late-night snacks, etc. Since you have a budding adult on your hands, it might be good for him to suffer the consequences of his blood sugar highs, including overnight. He needs to learn how that feels and affects him so he can make better choices for late-night snacks. You could even set the ‘high’ alarm even higher so that you can get some sleep but be aware if his numbers go above a certain level. When he’s in college, he will have to handle this on his own, so it is good for him to know why it’s good to make better choices. In the conversation, it’s OK to let him know that, even though not intentional, his late-night snack choices are currently robbing you of sleep. Use the language about ‘thinking together about being partners’ in this issue. If he lets you know what he has eaten at night, you can make different responses to the high alarms based on what he has eaten. If dinnertime is the issue (or certain dinner meals), you can discuss how to partner with him to think through his dinner dosing–because of the impact on your sleep later. Another piece of the conversation with him is whether or not he still wants nighttime support. You have to ask him how he imagines self-management for himself when he goes to college. It’s time for you to feel out that conversation with him.”

Resources:

Visit my website for available resources and upcoming courses/webinars: www.diabetessweettalk.com

*Visit my website to get my Self-Care Kit to bring more ease and balance into your diabetes management routine!

*For help with the emotional and parenting challenges of facing T1D management, join one of our live recording sessions by clicking the banner at the top of the website homepage.

*For help in diabetes management, check out Sweet Talk’s Put Diabetes In Its Place coaching course. This is the course I wish I’d had when my kids were diagnosed.

*For a more hopeful future for you and your T1D child, consider the After Diagnosis coaching course. It’s designed specifically for parents whose child was diagnosed within the last year. Let me help you find a faster path to calm.