SDP 010 REGRET has a secret mission that we should all be aware of | if you feel regret you have work to do
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Manage episode 281537722 series 2849926
#avoideregret #regret #livebold
We all have regret; it is an unavoidable part of the human condition.
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Dwelling on our mistakes and bad decisions will only make the problem hang around and torment us. They prevent us from moving forward and learning from our mistakes. Often it leads us into a cycle of self-doubt and even self-loathing, as a result of our bad decisions. If we can’t directly pin that event to a choice that we made then we internalize the blame. And say things like, I am just a bad person, I deserve what happened to me, I don’t deserve to be happy.
DEALING WITH REGRET
o Regret is a physical and mental response to a unwise or uninformed decision
o Regret makes everything extremely personal
o I can’t regret an incident
o I can only regret my choices leading to the incident
o If there is regret then there was a choice
o Regret is an important emotion
o You feel it mentally – self worth
o You feel it physically – pit of the stomach feels like anxiety
o It exists to help us make better decisions in the future
o Regret leads to better memory
AVOIDING REGRET FOR BEHAVIORAL INTERVENTION
o Anticipation of regret leads to better decisions
o What are the consequences
o Two types of regret
o Things that you did or things you failed to do
o Things that you did, weeks to months of regret
o Trust your instincts
o Things you did not do, up to a lifetime of regret
o Be willing to be bold and take a chance
o Ask for what you want, if you don’t ask the answer is always no
o Give example of letter to the board for Gunnery Sergeant
REGRET AS A SALES TECHNIQUE
o Fear of missing out
o Limited time offer
o Fear of not even trying
o Don’t be the one who missed out
o Insurance salesman
o What if…. You will regret not….
COPING WITH REGRET
o Get through it, not over it
o It requires bold choices to get through it
o Your only two options are change or living with regret
o Regret is automatic and change requires a decision
o Tell the story of Rob leaving the mountain
o Both are painful but the pain of change is temporary
o We are not clairvoyant; we act and we deal with those actions in order to grow
o Hindsight is 2020, but not realistic or valuable
o Don’t let regret shift into shame
o Know that it is forever over and done with
o Am I a bad person…? Not, if you regret what you have done
o What can your regret teach you?
o If you can learn from it then it has served its purpose and you can let it go.
o Your brain wants you see your mistakes so you can make better decisions moving forward
o So make better decisions moving forward.
o Move forward don’t get sucked into the past
o Be better than that ass hole you were yesterday, and make sure that tomorrow you are better than today.
o If you can do that, then regret is just another tool that you can use to grow and dominate.
GRATITUDE IS THE ANTIDOTE TO REGRET
o Be grateful for what you have and what you have done right
o Don’t be remorseful for the things that you do not have and the mistakes that you make along the way.
o Decide to let it go
o Keep the lesson and leave the trauma behind