How to Survive Middle School with Jessica Speer

Helping Families Be Happy

In today’s episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a practicing Clinical Psychologist, Wellness Advocate, and Author based in Sonoma County, California talks with guest Jessica Speer, an author focused on helping kids and families thrive. She talks about her new book ‘Middle School Safety Goggles Advised’. This is a deep dive into the middle school experience in a way that's fun, but also honest and filled with the voices of students.

Episode Highlight

• 01:07 – Dr. Carla says that she loves Jessica’s subject matter because it's all about kids, all about helping children and their parents.
• 03:22 – Jessica mentions that she spent a lot of time in seventh-grade classrooms because she really wanted to understand what is it like to be a middle-schooler today.
• 05:00 - It's not about blaming, shaming, should or shouldn't, it’s about waiting, slowing down, taking a look at what works for us, and what would create a healthy positive outcome, states Jessica.
• 07:02 – Dr. Carla states about Jessica’s book that the book helps prevent some of the things from happening. We can’t control everything but this book gives really solid tips and tools for self-awareness.
• 09:04 - It was a joy to work with kids and Jessica added as much as she could. She included a lot of their insights and wisdom in this book because kids have a ton and that makes it so real.
• 11: 35 – Dr. Carla enquires when we look at the book - ‘Middle School Safety Goggles Advised’, how is this book going to help make families happier?
• 14:23 – Jessica says, being in the classroom was so fun, and she loves getting to know the kids over the course of the year.
• 16:12 - Dr. Carla enquires from Jessica about what would she say to the parents who say, “What stress our child possibly could have as they are provided with food, clothing, shelter, and all of these luxury items?”
• 18:01 – Jessica shares, what parents can do to mitigate some of that stress in each of those three areas.
• 20:15 - People think middle schoolers need seven or eight hours of sleep, but as per research it is around 10-12 hours instead.
• 22:04 – Dr. Carla says, she is a firm believer in phone technology out of the bedroom and it's important for parents to have the same rules.
• 24:00 – If we do notice overtime that they're struggling more than they should be maybe not wanting to go to school and starting to complain and using gigs and things like that, that might be a time where we do need to step in and get some extra help.
• 25:38 – Dr. Carla enquires from Jessica if a parent notices that something's wrong and suspects that a child's being bullied, what would she say to such parent, and how does a parent proceed?
• 27:08 – Jessica states that kids need to lead the charge as to how we're going to fix it and how we're going to create this change.
• 29:20 – Jessica mentions they’ve done a great job of bullying awareness in this book.
• 31:00 - In all these situations, as parents staying as calm and grounded as possible and trying to get as much information and understanding as we can be a great place to start, mentions Jessica.
• 33:22 – Dr. Carla says that for a parent, it really helps them understand a little bit more what today's struggles are like, for that middle schooler.
• 36:00 - Jessica says, it was fun to write those and they're really thought-provoking for kids and adults.

Three Key Points

1. Jessica says about the book that it's kind of a gentle but fun way to help kids, think through common but difficult situations. So yeah, it's got beautiful illustrations that she’s super excited about, she thinks it's going to be a fun read for kids and a read that will help parents get their head back in the middle school game, what middle school was really like. This book will quickly bring them right back into their middle school years.
2. Jessica explains how this book is going to make families happier from the parent’s perspective, it's helpful to get their head in that space when their kids are about to enter or are in middle school, and then for kids, just the chance to kind of learn and grow and know that there are resources out there and there are resources within themselves and they've got choices. So, it's written in a way like they're reading what their friend might be telling them because there are tons of stories and quotes from peers.
3. Dr. Carla says - another one of the pieces that she really loves about Jessica’s book is that educators can read it and can take a lot of insights from the book. Parents can read it, better understand their children and have a better idea of how to help their middle school years. Not be perfect, nothing's perfect, but be healthy and fun.

Tweetable Quotes

• “This book is super interactive, filled with humor and fun and stories.” - Jessica Speer
• “The best insights I heard kids which I incorporated in the book is ‘choose your own ending story.” - Jessica Speer

• “It just gives a sneak preview into middle school for kids entering or like right in the thick of it.” - Jessica Speer
• “If they read it, they will tap into the tricky part of middle school.” - Jessica Speer
• “Some of the best insights I got when I had little slips of paper and just asked a simple question.” - Jessica Speer
• “The trickiest things that they named were, the social media is tricky” - Jessica Speer
• “There are three different kinds of stress.” - Jessica Speer
• “Parents can do a lot taking the pressure off that academic stress.” - Jessica Speer
• “We need to get those stress levels back down to a healthy level.” - Jessica Speer
• “It's okay to let go of activities.” - Jessica Speer
• “The kids I was talking to they were pretty clear they were not getting enough sleep.” - Jessica Speer
• “As humans sometimes have to learn how to deal with mean people, how to stand up for ourselves, how to not take things personally, and how to just move on.” - Jessica Speer
• “It's important for parents to understand that difference too because we don't want to go off the handle if it's not a situation of bullying.” - Jessica Speer
• “We all are on these journeys to figure out, what are our strengths, what are our weaknesses, where are opportunities to grow.” - Jessica Speer

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
• Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website LinkedIn Twitter Instagram
• Jessica Speer: Website
• Podcast Editing