The classic novel, the playground of literary greats such as Austen, Dickens, the Brontë sisters... but have you actually READ these books? Sisters Katy and Marsha take a closer look at classical texts, expect feminist rants, funny anecdotes, coarse language and general silliness! Needless to say, this isn’t a podcast you want to reference in your coursework!
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Hello! This is the podcast empowering the new generation of classical musicians to take risks and live a meaningful life.
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5. The Catcher in the Rye - Fire Guardians
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It is here! The final instalment of The Catcher in the Rye, and, I think we're all owed an apology, oh and Marsha should apologise for attempting screamo, this episode is a bit fever dreamy tbh. Enjoy! We'll be back in a few weeks with a more wholesome read to see out the summer!
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4. The Catcher in the Rye - Holden Summer
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You've heard of hot girl summer, well it's time for Holden Summer! (You're gonna hate it). But stay tuned for some truly iconic insults, and the most cringeworthy night you will ever bear witness too. Oh, and who thinks Katy's partner James is a sneaky snake?
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3. The Catcher in the Rye - Ear laps?
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Part 3, Holden has arrived in NYC and he is ready to paaarrrtttaaayyyyy! Only, no one else wants to party with him on account if him being a child and a tosser, which is fair enough! Main takeaways: Make sure you're following @mistermainer1 on Instagram Learn there are certain things that should be kept out of reach of children Get fully on board w…
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2. Catcher in the Rye - See ya later Stradlater!
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We reconnect with Hold a Cauliflower as he gets back to school and meet some of his friends. Of course, Holden doesn't think of them as being friends, on account of them being phonies!! (And having questionable hygiene). Get ready for the ickiest of boys and how not to deliver a witty comeback...
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1. The Catcher in the Rye - Madman
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We are back!! Sorry it's been too long, apparently moving house and losing your job is quite time consuming! But out with the old and in with the new, and boy, do we have a book in store for you! We are taking a look at Catcher in the Rye, the book that has been linked with multiple violent attacks, teenage angst, and rebellion against "phonies". G…
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Pet Sematary pt 5 - He woke up and chose violence
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Right, wow, I mean, I think we can all kind of predict what's going to happen, but wow, there are some real surprises in this final instalment. Jude goes weird, we discover some new napping positions, and can anyone tell me what an idiot shape is? Don't say us!
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Pet Sematary pt 4 - Disney Doctors
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Gage is dead. Yep. Dead. Will Lewis be able to accept it? Will he ever get to Disneyland? Will Jude do anything remotely useful? It's all happening this week in part 4 of Stephen King's Pet Sematary.
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Pet Sematary pt 3 – Family trauma
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Join us as we find out we have more similarities with thecharacters in Pet Sematary than we previously thought. We see Louis and hisfamily for their last great day… discuss how we should all have more lassos tohand, and also unpack what the f3ck was going on with those horses runningaround London?!
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Pet Sematary pt 2 - Bear Hunt
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Things are getting sinister, sinisterer than a student dying on the first day of term, and that... relaxing bath we bore witness to last time. Get you're hiking boots o, we're going for a climb!
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Pet Sematary pt 1 - Full of stroganoff and trauma
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We're back guys! Sorry it's a bit late, lots of life changes at the moment! But we're stoked to be bringing you a new season looking at the the crazy world of Stephen King. Just, take a deep breath, and get ready to meet some very questionable protagonists...
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 5 - Final Part- Queen's Toe
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Will Phileas win his bet? Will Aouda grow a personality? Will Passepartout punch Fix? Will they even make it out of America??!! Join us for the final part - it gets wild! Vote now, who would punch Fix? I know Katy would! We will be back after Easter with Pet Samatary, spooOOOooOoky! Have a great Easter guys! We hope you enjoyed this season! Thank y…
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 4 - Maths, dates and trauma
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Full blown TW on this episode, we explain it in the episode before we get to the horrid bit and tell you what you need to know for the last episode if you'd rather skip it. But apart from that! Tune in to learn the power of 'no' from Passepartout, relive one of the best internet moments, and marvel at how much dates and times confuse Katy and Marsh…
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 3 - Too Tory to be allowed
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I mean, I know the characters are on a literal journey but damn! What a journey this episode is! Betrayal, confusion, twists, turns and tumbles! Takeaways:Can you pronounce orangery like a civilised human?How many more ways can Marsha get 'Passepartout' wrong?And, how the f0(k do you say Yokohama?!
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 2 - Figaro Wiggle
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We're back! And Fix is in hot pursuit of Passepartout and Fogg! What obstacles will they tackle his week?We have a hymn singalong, and there are some high dramas! And we find out that rail travel has largely stayed the same!
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 1 - Pass the Poo
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Welcome back one and all! We hope you are all well and ready for our holibobs - because we are embarking on the most futile trip in literature! Get ready to burn those fossil fuels as we splash the cash and infuriate Consuls. Get in b1tches we're going racing!
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The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe pt 5 - Definitely are two sides
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Welcome to the concluding part of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe! And wow, what a ride, shut up Susan, shut up Aslan, and damn! Narnian battles are next level! Put the rabbits and squirrels down!
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The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe pt 4 - Katy's Greatest Achievement
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Sorry for the radio silence, but Marsha has been actually silent, the 100 day cough is a real bitch. But we're back and we've got big news and an Aslan as you've never heard him!
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The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe pt 3 - A little less snacking, a little more packing
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Merry Christmas to one and all! - unless we don't like you, then you can fork off. But we like everyone here so whayyyy! Welcome to our Christmas episode, I'm just going to list some key quotes from this episode: - Egg grog (genius) - Tongue twister of the week; "To say which way the witch's sledge went" - Very glad and also, very solemn - Fire fir…
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The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe pt 2 - Not very Narnian
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Get ready for perhaps the best life advice ever from our eccentric, dear professor. Find out the lengths we'll go to to avoid going on boring tours. And really question how trusting these children are - as if they're from war time London with "Mum's the word!" plastered all over the streets - Ed is the only one with his head half screwed on and he'…
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The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe pt 1 - Rub a fur
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Join us for an unseasonably hot Christmas. Apologies, for munching sounds, we're only human! But welcome, to the winter wonderland, that is Narnia, and... is Mr Tumnus alright? Shall we kick Edmund? And... does 'foreword' confuse anyone as much as it does Katy?
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Jekyll and Hyde Ep 3 - Lung Butter or Toe Jam
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Is anyone else as gross as us? And back to the story, just saying Jekyll, well, he's not that good is he? And get cosy, because this gets sppoooooooky! We've really enjoyed this read by the way and hope you have too, and we can't wait for our Christmas series!
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Jekyll and Hyde Ep 2 - It was the Hyde!
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Part 2 of our spooky Halloween read! Are you feeling romantic? Is Jekyll? Is there more to the mysterious Hyde character? And who's working late in the lab one night?
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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde Ep 1 - Scrambled Children
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It's spooky season, so perfect timing to check out this Scottish classic - who is the monster and who is the man??!!! (Seriously, the Hunchback of Notre Damn is very quotable in this). Expect extreme ableism (tw) and terrible Scottish accents, and of course dastardly deeds! It's about to get dark...
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One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Ep 4 - Stab the Rats
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Last episode of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, we were happy to see the back of this book, and gave it a send off we've never done before. We also have a long tangent about how to kill lots of different types of animals...sorry... do you know how to kill any animals? Hey, just making conversation! (But no, only stroke animals, they're nice!)…
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One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Ep 3 - Votes and Lifting
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But Ratchet is, well, ratching up the heat? That's definitely not a saying, sorry, it's nearly 1am, enjoy the carnage, and a carnival is a terrible idea right?
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One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Ep 2 - Like a Soggy Pamphlet
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Part two is here. There's raging, there's bold departures from logic. And oh my god, someone give us a dictionary, because the English language is hard!Serious trigger warnings for r*pe, r*cism, s*xism, basically, this book is a steaming pile of offence.
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One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest - Ep 1 In a Confused Frog
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This episode is a lot of set up, as this book needs a lot of trigger warning and context, and we're nattery noos of course! We hope the comforting words of our father "We all die alone" help you at this tumultuous time, and that you're not too traumatised after this episode. Remember, don't chat out of open windows and check what your bra looks lik…
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Animal Farm part 4 - He Tried
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Oh my god, this episode, we all need a minute. Jesus HAlso, trying to improve our sound quality without hiring a studio, it's a work in progress guys, sorry but bear with, hope it's not too jarring. And let us know if there's anything you'd like us to discuss in our debrief! (And are two types of potato on a roast excessive?)…
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Animal Farm part 3 - Duckling
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Are these little piggies in over their heads? Do you know what a cloaca is? And is duckling just a shltIing after all? It's all falling apart (literally) in this week's return to Animal Farm.
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Animal Farm Ep 2 - Greedy Little Piggies
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Well the humans are gone, but is Animal Farm the eutopia that Old Major envisioned? And who will lead now that Jones is gone? Apart from tuning in for this gripping tale, tune in for 'Katy - The Eighth Wonder of the World - The Most Pointless Psychic You'll Ever Hear!' No but, seriously, it's a little creepy! Also, what do we think of Mollie? We've…
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Animal Farm Ep 1 - It's a boob not a bread
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We'rrreeeeee back! Guys, we're buzzing to get back to recording us cackling for you to hear in your ears! As you know, it's been nuts, so what better way to start a new chapter (hehe - pun!) than diving into an Orwellian nightmare - but don't tell Katy! She's still hoping for a wholesome cottagecore tale... let's see how long that lasts!…
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A Little Princess part 5 - And you know everything!
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:( it's our last episode with little Sarah! Will Sarah remain a servant at Miss Minchin's school forever? Will Ramdas carry on staring through her window? Will Becky finally be recognised as a vulnerable child? And most importantly, is Sarah's attic on the left or right? We'll be having a short break while we work on the next season, but also we ha…
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A Little Princes part 4 - Hungry Crusty Fuck
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This week - how about we set fire to it all? Set fire to your enemies houses? Set fire to the schools? Burn the lot! (Can you tell Marsha is a little antsy this week?) And! We cool with grown men sneaking into little girl's rooms? Why does Santa get a free pass? No. Doesn't sit well with us at ALL! But most importantly, the fact we must put ahead o…
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A little Princess part 3 - Little Mrs
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Sorry it's late - but here it is! Part 3 of A Little Princess! Find out how servant life is treating Sarah, why are we all Oliver Twist? And does the new revelation about Sarah's dad really bum you out? TW: Turns out Becky and Lottie are hella racist, I wouldn't have predicted it from those characters, but there you are.…
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A Little Princess part 2 - Salad? In a bakery?
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So if you didn't complete last week's homework of watching the 1995 film version of A Little Princess - what are you doing here? Shoo, shoo! Go watch it! We're back with Sarah and her whimsical fancies and it's party time! Sarah is turning 11 years old (does that mean she hasn't seen her dad for 4 years? Savage), all the girls are excited for what …
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A Little Princess part 1 - You're a monster
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We'rrrrrreeeeee back!! And what a book to kick off 2023 with! Get ready from some 18th century 90s vibes - you read that right! We're reading A Little Princess! We're hoping you've seen the 1995 film (if not, go do your assigned homework of watching that now) and come along on this enchanting (sometimes disturbing) adventure. Meet Sarah, dear Papa …
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The Nutcracker part 3 - A Tale of Christmas Grooming
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Here it is! The final part of Nutcracker is here just in time for Christmas, so cosy up by the fireside, dim those Christmas lights and listen to the tale of a grown nutcracker grooming a child by showing her a lot of sweeties. Nutcracker? More like cradle snatcher. Cradle Snatcher Nutcracker.
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The Nutcracker part 2 - Hickory Dickory
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Want to hear more inappropriate rhymes? Well you came to the right place! Why does everyone speak in rhyme? Also, you can find out why you should never ask an Astronomer for directions. Why do old books have so much beef about green eyes? And how many breaks is too many breaks in a bedtime story? Further, there is an important message in here about…
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The Nutcracker part 1 - Rat Kings?!
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I'm not even going to address the title of this episode, you'll just have to listen and be horrified like we were. I will ask though, if anyone else's mums cut corners off tables? Just us? Probably just us. And also, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Come join us for some fantastic festive vibes, and very lax safeguarding of minors!…
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Dracula part 7 - Can you hear me Major Tom?
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The final part of Dracula is here! Will the boys get their act together and forget about bloody breakfast, or will Dracula out wit them yet again? What will become of dear Mina? And we meet the new characters of Bowie and Kukri, what mischief will befall them?
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Dracula part 6 - Why is it spicy?
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Lots of fun this week, who wants to hear more about Cladinbac? Dracula's Scottish cousin, and who would like to invest in The Boys - The Board-game, and oh yeah, Mina doesn't look great and Dracula gets real cranky!
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Dracula part 5B - Look at my bum
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What a roller-coaster! We pick up where we left of, looking at the general audacity of men, but things are kicking off in the asylum, and maybe there's more to this bro eating flies. That is straight up grim though, don't eat flies, of course people will judge you if you eat flies, come on man...
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Dracula part 5A - Mother Bosom
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TW! Massive trigger warning for suicide this week. If you're struggling, please reach out, and if you do listen to this episode but want to skip the suicide chat, I say skip 10 seconds, make it two minutes to be on the safe side. <3 Also - decided to split this week's episode in half as it was a bit on the long side, second half will be out in a co…
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Dracula part 4 - Round wheat
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This is what happens when you eat copious amounts of macaroni cheese, followed by lots of Halloween chocolate, no regrets though. Find out what a round wheat is - courtesy of Papa Bevan, get the latest hot tips on how to keep draughts and Vampires out, and learn some skills in tenderness and tact from Van Helsing as he guides Arthur through his ber…
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Dracula part 3 - That's a big bat
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Professor Van Helsing is trying his best to make sure Lucy doesn't succumb to Dracula's dark desires, but will he succeed or is Dracula just too dastardly for this fast travelling Dutch (or German?) man?
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Dracula part 2 - Muddy Tits
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It's part 2 of Dracula! And what a ride! Time to hear from someone else's perspective, perhaps a woman, oh wait, it's a woman written by a man, that could only be a good idea right? Get cosy and settle in to see what befalls poor Jonathan after he decides he must escape from Dracula's lair, and perhaps things at home aren't going so well either...…
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Dracula part 1 - You bug me
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We are back!!!! And what a way to kick off Spooky Season! This book is fucking tense! And who would have thought it would be so easily linkable to Friends!
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Squeefest 4 - Unclassical Selkies and Mermaids
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Join us for a very early morning edition of Unclassical and The Doctor Squee Show! This was at this years Squeefest which is always so much fun, tune in to hear us natter on about some mythical sea creatures and some complications around the myths...
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Final part of Emma! And I think I hear wedding bells! Lovely vague wedding bells, and if you can bear someone's difficult moods, and general mistreatment, maybe one day, you could get married too <3 And sorry this is late! Work got busy, blame the kids!
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Emma part 5 - You are getting a spanking
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We had lots of fun recording this one! Scottish angst, and everyone being sassy bitches, and who knew strawberry picking could be so eventful? And please! Has anyone kicked someone in the shins? Asking for a friend...
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