Two film-loving friends devour entire franchises, tracing their theatrical rise, direct-to-video-fall, and occasional redemption. Banter, bits, and bad impressions follow.
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The Profitable Franchisees podcast is here to help you to run your franchise business with less stress, more flexibility in your time and of course make profit! Practical and helpful to give you the confidence and the tools and knowledge to have a profitable and successful franchise business.
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BONUS TIFF 2024 Highlights of the Prestigious and Very Important Toronto International Film Festival BONUS GLAMOUR STARS SEX FASHION BEN ALEX
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BONUS BONUS BONUS! It's a special episode for you recapping 2024's Toronto International Film Festival, the festival of festivals, the greatest cultural event in Canada, the only reason to stay alive, the glitz and glamour and stars, it's hot, it's happening, it's here for you to listen to on a Thursday and you can pretend like you were there too! …
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Bad Boys Bad Boys/Whatcha gonna do?/Whatcha gonna do when they podcast you? ayyyy what is this blank freakin' check with Griffin and frickin' David ovah heah??? No. It is The Franchisees with Ben and Alex you fucking moron. Welcome back! We're doing the first film in a brand new franchise: BAD BOYS. Michael Bay's first feature film... does he "have…
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300: Rise of an Empire (2014)
1:22:11
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Whoops! Forgot to upload this... blaming it on having a bad case of TIFF fever. I will update this description soon! UPDATE: We're back in ancient Greek, following the epic CGI sea(?) battles of Themistocles and Eva Green. Whoever wins, we the audience lose. Just kidding, it's not that bad it's just not that good either. What expectations could you…
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300 (2006) (with Katherine Vienneau)
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1:44:39
300 romans like the trojans 300 greeks fucking yeomans 300 kanye's bipolar emotions that's right baby we're back, The Franchisees are back with past and future and current guest Katherine Vienneau to discuss the second film from "vulgar auteur" Zack Snyder, 300. We're talking King Leonidas, we're talking Xerxes, we're talking Fassbender, Wenham, hu…
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Alien: Romulus (2024) (feat. Generative AI CGI Jordan)
1:48:18
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Franchises were a mistake... it's time to admit it. No matter how great the original film is, eventually the rights will be purchased by Disney and they will make slop. Will we eat the slop? Yes... because we are pigs. But will we like it? Disney and Weyland-Yutani are not concerned with the answer to that question. We're back with the latest and (…
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BONUS What We Watched On Our Summer Vacations BONUS BONUS BONSU special treat for u :)
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BONUS BONUS BONUS! Do you like the part of the episode where we talk about the movies we've watched before we get to the main movie of the week? Well strap in buddy, because that's allllllll we're doing this episode! Ben and Alex have been apart on (separate) summer vacation(s) and boy howdy do they have a lot of movies to round up. Enjoy this spec…
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Alien: Covenant (2017)
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All our chips were on ALIEN: COVENANT baby, it's all on red, it's in gods hands now... so did it pay off? Well yes and no. Ben and Alex agree: it's a step up from PROMETHEUS and Ridley's gothic horror haunted house double android surprise is awfully good fun. What a strange franchise... we've had fun though haven't we folks. During the Weekly Movie…
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The earth was young when Prometheus, the clever Titan, created all the living creatures from a mixture of earth and water. From his imagination, he fashioned birds for the air, fish for the sea and animals for the land. However, from the image of the immortal gods, he fashioned man. Bad idea! Join us we talk about Prometheus the Titan and PROMETHEU…
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Alien Resurrection (1997) (with Joel Edmiston)
1:39:00
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200 years after ALIEN 3 Brad Dourif clones Sigourney Weaver to extract an alien from her tummy. Thus sets the stage for the wackiest, goopiest, frenchiest ALIEN film yet. Revered French clown Jean-Pierre Jeunet directs and megahack Joss Whedon writes the cringe dialogue. Our good buddy and comedian extraordinaire Joel Edmiston joins us again to tal…
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ALIEN 3, from the twisted mind of David Fincher...? Well no, not really. From the twisted minds of 20th Century Fox more like it. And we're all worse off because of it! ALIEN 3 is a really interesting movie with a fascinatingly flawed production history. While Alex and Ben didn't particularly like it, they definitely recommend you watch it and then…
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James Cameron, hot off the success of THE TERMINATOR, makes one of the greatest sequels of all time: ALIEN$... and a franchise was born! What can you say... it's a classic. But do Alex and Ben like it? I know you're all waiting to hear what Alex and Ben have to say about ALIEN$. Here's a preview: we like it fine! It just is not the type of movie th…
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Alien (1979) (with Jordan Seccareccia)
1:38:38
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1:38:38
ALIEN. It's a classic, what can you say? Well that's a good question and we try to answer it with today's episode. Jordan Seccareccia joins us again to talk about just how good ALIEN is and how amazing it is that a group of talented artists came together at the exact right time to create an enduring sci-fi/horror masterpiece. But first we babble on…
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Last Days (2005) (with Katherine Vienneau)
1:38:17
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1:38:17
All great things must come to an end and here we are with the final film in Gus Van Sant's "Death Trilogy" LAST DAYS. Michael Pitt stars as not Kurt Cobain in a film not about Kurt Cobain's final days before his suicide. Katherine returns to talk all things Cobain, Nirvana, Van Sant, and depression/alienation. Sound fun? Well it actually is very fu…
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Elephant (2003) (with Katherine Vienneau and Matthew Nicholson)
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We're back discussing the 2nd film in Gus Van Sant's "Death Trilogy" ELEPHANT. Yes, this is his Columbine movie... yes, heavy subject matter is perhaps not our forte... but don't worry, we can still have fun right? Of course we can! Joining us for said fun is returning guest Katherine Vienneau and first time guest, longtime listener and even longer…
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Gerry (2002) (with Jerry Seinfeld, Gerry Dee, and Geri Halliwell)
1:28:21
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1:28:21
We're back with a slow jam for you, the first in Gus Van Sant's acclaimed Death Trilogy, GERRY. We love Gerry, we all love Gerry, and soon you too will love Gerry, it's only a matter of time. Two friends go for a walk in the desert, what's the worst that could happen... sure would be terrible if they became lost and unmoored in a constantly changin…
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Super Size Me 2: Holy Chicken! (2017)
1:16:12
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1:16:12
SUPER SIZE ME 2: HOLY CHICKEN! what a terrible title good god heinous title yucky very bad! And the movie's no good either, trust us. I can't imagine many of you Fanchisees out there have seen this obscure doc, seeing as how it sucks and was overshadowed by the director's self-cancellation. We always encourage playing along here but if you do, plea…
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Super Size Me (2004)
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1:45:06
RIP Immorgan Spurlock The Franchisees are paying our respects to one of the giants of documentary filmmaking, the 6' 2" Morgan Spurlock. Today we're revisiting the hot doc that put him on the map: SUPER SIZE ME. There was a time when eating McDonalds for 30 days and filming it could be a hit documentary... nowadays its a frickin' Mr. Beast video! T…
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Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) (with "Praetorian" Chantel)
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The Mad Max Saga comes to a close (for now) with FURIOSA, the highly anticipated action epic that serves as a prequel and world-building expansion to 2015's FURY ROAD. Does it live up to its predecessor or fall short of expectations? Does it add much to the Mad Max universe or is it merely Fury Road DLC? How does it stack up to the sickest of all D…
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Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (with "Imperator" Chantel)
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1:41:34
WITNESS ME! (listen to the pod) PLEASE WITNESS ME! The Mad Max Saga continues with what may be the greatest long-gap/legacy sequel of all time: MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. Max is back to begrudgingly help save the day with some new friends... Imperator Furiosa, Toast the Knowing, Cheedo the Fragile, Nux... we have all these characters. Furiosa must free th…
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BONUS: Unfrosted (2024) (with Gwen and Valerie)
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2:03:14
Surprise! A very special... or should I say Jerry special bonus episode because we're talking Jerry Seinfeld's feature directorial debut UNFROSTED. Should I say that? Should I say "or should I say Jerry special bonus episode? Email us at thefranchiseespod@gmail.com (and follow us @thefranchisees on Instagram and Twitter) We are joined by two very s…
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Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) (with Zack "Mad Max Also" Kotzer)
1:50:47
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1:50:47
Thunderdome: Two men enter, one man leaves. But today it's more like two men enter, one man already inside, three men talk into microphones, two men exit, one man stays where he is because special guest Zack Kotzer joins us to talk about MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOMEhe third and, for a time, final Mad Max movie. Aunty Entity, Master Blaster, Pig Kille…
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Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981) (with Jordan 'Mad Max Rockatansky' Seccareccia)
1:32:39
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1:32:39
My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos, ruined dreams, this wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Franchisees, the men we called Alex and Ben and special guest Jordan 'Mad Max Rockatansky' Seccareccia. Mad Max 2. The Road Warrior. One of the greatest and most influential movies of all time. …
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Mad Max (1979) (with 'Mad' Maxim Gertler-Jaffe)
1:56:15
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Ladies and gentlemen, rev your engines! All the way from post-apocalyptic London, England it's 'Mad' Maxim Gertler-Jaffe, joining Benno and Lexo for a poddo about the original MAD MAX film by director George Miller. Throw a shrimp on the barbie, Australia dingo koala Malcolm Turnbull. It's a classic of independent action cinema and the beginning of…
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The Christ Quadrilogy Part IV: Antichrist (2009)
1:51:37
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1:51:37
Chaos reigns †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††♱††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††♱††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††♱††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††♱††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††♱†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††…
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The Christ Quadrilogy Part III: The Passion of the Christ (2004) (with Jordan Seccareccia and Katherine Vienneau)
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[loud beating and flogging noises] ahhh! ohhh ouch ohhh nooo! ow! owww! We’re back ahhh stop oh god ow! With a new episode on a film from the twisted mind of Mel Gibson ouch! Joined ahh ohhh ow owwww by returning guests AHHH Jordan and Katherine. [flogging continues] We talk about ow ouch oh god why have you forsaken me owww the life and career of …
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The Christ Quadrilogy Part II: The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) (with Jordan Seccareccia and Lucas)
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He has risen again! He being Jesus Christ of course, our lord and saviour and friend of the pod. Alex and Ben are back with Part II of the epic Christ Quadrilogy where they explore weighty themes like religion, resurrection, sin, and salvation. This week we're covering Martin Scorsese's (and Paul Schrader's) THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST. Joining u…
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The Christ Quadrilogy Part I: Jesus Christ Superstar (1973) (with Devin Shears)
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2:06:23
I loooove you Jeeeesus Chriiiiist. Jesus Christ I loooove you, yesss I dooooo. Happy April everybody! We here at The Franchisees are good, honest, god-fearing folk and have decided to celebrate the death and resurrection of friend of the pod and future guest, Jesus of Nazareth. We've picked a quartet, a tetralogy, or (much more stupidly) a quadrilo…
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Ted has risen! Ted 2 unto others as you would have Ted 2 to uh yourself. We're back with the sequel to Seth MacFarlane's lovable children's film TED, the appropriately titled TED 2. Ben was lukewarm on the first Ted film and Alex remembers disliking Ted 2 when he watched it on a plane many years ago... how will the lads feel about Ted 2 now? Well, …
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We're back this week with a new franchise, TED. Everyone's favourite Seth MacFarlane project behind Family Guy but ahead of everything else he's done. Since there's a new Ted TV series we thought we'd revisit the lovable foul-mouthed bear and see if he's still funny (or if he ever was in the first place...) We start the episode by discussing the li…
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Dune: Part Two (2024) (with Alex Baigent)
2:09:51
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2:09:51
The spice continues to flow on our latest episode: DUNE: PART TWO, the epic conclusion to Denis Villeneuve's adaptation of one book. We have a very special guest joining us this week, fellow sandman and spicelover Alex Baigent! This brings us 3/4 of the way to having the entirety of the band Westelaken on the show. Soon we shall collect them all! B…
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Dune (2021) [aka Dune: Part One] (with Aren Bergstrom)
2:08:50
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It's DUNE time again, the spice must flow, the podcast must uhhh ummmm be recorded and released. What a wonderful, special episode we have for you. Joining us is major spice-head Aren Bergstrom, a huge Dune fan, cinephile and fellow movie podcaster. We do talk about Dune, don't worry, but first we have an extended riff on hot button film criticism …
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Beer is the mind killer, the sleeper has awakened from a drunken nap. And many more Dune-related jokes I’m sure! We’re back with an exciting and relevant franchise: the DUNE films. This week we start by discussing (eventually) David Lynch’s 1984 adaptation. Is it a failure or a secret success… or something in between? We also touch on Alejandro Jod…
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BONUS Official Martin Scorsese Filmography Ranking BONUS
2:36:19
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Listen up you rat fucks, Ben has now seen all 26 of cinema god Martin Scorsese's fiction feature films. He and Alex have cooked you up a nice-a bonus episode, just like our mother's used to make. It's long, epic even... just like one of Marty's pictures. We talk about every Martin Scorsese film here, from MEAN STREETS to TAXI DRIVER to GOODFELLAS t…
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The Color of Money (1986)
1:16:09
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1:16:09
Martin Scorsese baby. The god! We're back with his 1986 cool guy classic, THE COLOR OF MONEY. Paul Newman is back as Fast Eddie Felcher, older and wiser (?), not playing pool but anymore but still hustling. He meets a young, hot shot hot shit pool prodigy Tom Cruise and takes him and his streetwise girlfriend under his wing. Can Fast Eddie show the…
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We're back and squeezing in a short "franchise" before DUNE unto others as we'd have DUNE unto ourselves. We chose something good for a bit of a change of pace: THE HUSTLER. Directed by Robert Rossen (who joins the Elia Kazan club of Communist name namers who also made some great films), THE HUSTLER is a film about having that grindset, the money m…
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Jurassic World Dominion (2022) (with Rob McLay)
2:09:40
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2:09:40
Jurassic World Dominion NO COLON You don't have to watch this movie! You could go outside! You don't have to have seen this movie to enjoy this podcast, we don't even talk about it until an hour in! Don't do this to yourself, you're better than that! I'm serious, don't bother! Do some chores, call your mom, get a start on your taxes for god's sake.…
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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) (with Rob McLay)
1:43:08
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We're back to discuss the 2nd film in the JURASSIC WORLD series, JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM. It's a real doozy so thank god we're joined by our special guest Rob McLay, a musician and passionate dinosaur rights advocate. Rob raises an important question: we agree dinosaurs should be granted rights... but should they also receive the right to vo…
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BONUS: The Best Movies of 2023
2:42:30
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2:42:30
oh this is a big special extra long and rambling episode for you real Fanchisees out there, we love you and if you listen to this whole episode you will be rewarded with the knowledge of the name of the street Jordan B. Peterson lives on. we promise that next year we will figure out a better format for this but until then: listen or die!…
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Jurassic World (2015)
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1:24:45
It's Jurassic's World, we're just living in it. That doesn't really make sense I guess. But maybe there was a time when rebooting the Jurassic franchise didn't make sense either... makes you think. I'm sure glad they decided to make more swell dino movies for us that don't suck! We discuss legacy sequels and Chris Pratt and Colin Trevorrow and all …
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Jurassic Park III (2001)
1:37:01
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1:37:01
Ben eats a bagel, the boys respond to legitimate fan mail, and discuss the stirring final chapter of the Jurassic Park trilogy.The Franchisees tarafından oluşturuldu
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The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
1:43:05
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1:43:05
Something Survived... that's right, The Franchisees are back with the dino-tastic sequel to Jurassic Park. There's little debate around whether this second entry is "dino-tastic"... but is it any good? Does Sammy Fabelman recapture some of the magic of the original We offer up some lukewarm takes! Before we eventually talk about The Lost World: Jur…
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Jurassic Park (1993) [aka Billy and the Cloneasaurus]
1:35:56
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1:35:56
We're back! New year, new us. Looking to the future, and the future's gonna be bright. That's why we chose to go back 65 million years to bring you some gargantuan dino content. Our first franchise of 2024: Jurassic Park/World. It brings me immeasurable displeasure to include /World... I really don't want to watch any of those three films again but…
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Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
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55:44
Last episode of the year! Happy New Year! Hypergremlinization! See you on the other side!
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The Franchisees Christmas Carol
52:35
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Bah! Humbug!The Franchisees tarafından oluşturuldu
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'Twas the night before Christmas if you listen to this immediately or maybe next year on December 24th it could become a tradition for you why not? We're coming to you from the North Pole with a special Christmas-themed double bill: the Gremlins franchise! We've recorded two short and sloppy episodes for you this holiday season, may you enjoy them …
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Wonka (2023)/Jordan's Top Ten (with Jordan Seccareccia)
2:10:00
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2:10:00
I’m making chocolate of course! We’re back to check in with the latest screen version of the beloved character Willy Wonka. What’s he been up to? What was he like before the first film? And before that? And before that? And before that? What was he like as a little sperm? All our questions are finally answered. Friend of the pod and famous Fanchise…
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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
1:45:56
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1:45:56
What a fucking drag! This week we revisited a real piece of crap, Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Does Burton's pure imagination combined with a delicious performance by Joni Dripp result in a confection you'll go crazy for? I certainly hope not! Revisiting this a week after rediscovering the joy of the original did not do it any fa…
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Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
1:43:38
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1:43:38
"Help! Help! Somebody help me! If you can read this, send help! I'm a fat little German boy and I'm stuck in the chocolate pipe! Please for the love of god help me, I've been here for days! I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs! Oh my god I'm going to die here! I'm going to die like this! Oh god! Oh god save me, please! I can't eat anymore cho…
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The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023) (with Mary Jane)
2:02:29
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2:02:29
Hello listeners, we've got a ballad to sing to you, I hope you don't find that cringe! Special guest Mary Jane joins us again to talk about the latest instalment of the popular young adult dystopian sci-fi series The Hunger Games. It's a prequel so we've got a whole new cast of characters and fresh faces. Does this film justify its own existence? E…
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Parts 1 & 2 (2014-2015) (with Mary Jane)
1:59:47
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Another double feature for all you weirdo arrested development YA freaks! That's right, The Franchisees are back with HG: MJ 1+2 with very special guest and Hunger Games aficionado, Mary Jane. MJ suggested this series in the first place, so it's great to have her guide us through the latter half of this dystopian franchise. Should they have split t…
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