INCOMING! Something different on the pod this week? Jake & Trey wake up to find they have a WIN to celebrate and deconstruct, and some actual NYCFC momentum to analyze and ballyhoo. Your boys in blue talk Agustin Ojeda's nasty little account opener, a deepening defensive fight, Big Bird's bedrock balls, and much more. Plus: Open Cup prognostication…

Draw 2, back in the habit, and Jake and Trey are here to make it sacreligious with a savvy and incisive recap of a 1-1 draw against a threatening Atlanta at home. We talk stretched midfields, Katy Perrys, whiffs of goals and wiffs at goals, and so much more. Plus: tales from the press box, mumbles around Mijatovic, and of course a prompt precap of …

Blue Ballers, this one's for you. New York City FC returns this week having stolen a point from the big pink menace in Miami, featuring a first MLS goal and first MLS start for Alonso Martinez and some more-or-less remarkable performances elsewhere. Jake & Trey break down how the team stacks up against noted psychopath Luis Suarez and whether the m…

Blue ballers, we won't lie to you — there's no lipstick available for this pig! A mighty but ultimately outmatched effort from New York City FC left us with zero points away at a highly dominant Cincinnati. Jake and Trey break down the conflicted feelings following this match — was it good? was it shit? was it both? — and talk what we can learn abo…

After a gratifying 2-1 victory against visiting Toronto, your Blue Ballers are feeling Hot N' Ready to breakdown some good news, for once. Jake and Trey slice up the first victory of the season, including Santi's centrality, Bakrar's hunger and panic for goal, stud Keaton Parks' studs-up challenge, and more. Then: a check-in with Gotham FC as the N…

Back in the saddle and twice as pissed, your boys in blue are back to recap the degradation kink demo that was New York City FC’s first ever home opener loss to the very Portland Timbers. One goal from Santi Rodriguez was not enough for the boys to bask in, and scared coaching left us scratching our heads as the Timbers knocked two past our timbs t…

Welcome back Blue Ballers. You're not gonna like the way we looked — I guarantee it. Our second match of the season yielded no points and no goals, continuing an abysmal streak away and resetting a sense of dread that will surely remain until at least one ball finds the back of the net. Will that happen this week at home? Jake and Trey break down t…

Welcome to the end of the blue decade, Blue Ballers, and the beginning of SEASON TEN of NYCFC madness, brought to you by your own Boys in Blue. A special salute to the ballers who've been with us since the Obama Era, through thick and thin, from Kreis to Cup -- this one's for you. But that's about as triumphant as we're getting this time around, be…

Shake off those blue suede shoes and get ready for action -- because it's very nearly Season Ten and Blue Balls is BACK! Jake & Trey tie a bow onto a banner preseason featuring some of the most exciting new blues in YEARS. We chat J's three ways, with Jovan, Ojeda, and Jones all getting the Blue Balls treatment. And then: glory of glories, it's the…

Just when you thought we were out, they pull us back in again! The season is hot incoming and at long last there's some NYCFC news to report on, piece apart, celebrate, and bitch about -- so you know your Boys in Blue are hunting down the scoops as transfer rumors become transfer realities. Jake and Trey break down one confirmed signing and two lik…

(alt. title: Madame B-Over-y & One H-Under-ed Years Of Solitude) We made it, folks. We staggered our way through this rocky season, careening from road loss to road loss, searching always for some sliver of hope. And in doing so, we saw a lot. Trades, sales, ups, downs, debuts and departures -- wretched record or not, this was an eventful ninth NYC…

Blue Ballers, we've been in better moods. We're staring down the end of an ignominious season and wondering where it all went wrong. SO we called in the experts. The Sports Expert, in fact! Max Reinhardsen joins the podcast to unpack the season and give his wisdom and perspective on the state of MLS today. Then: we deep dive on Trey's profound mora…

A brutal return to unfortunate form has Jake and Trey in their cups unpacking what went wrong, what stayed right, and who’s to blame for a lackluster and largely toothless performance against a DC United that should have easily been untied. Plus, to get us out of the doldrums, some USMNT and NWSL chat. And finally, what we can do against Chicago to…

Your blue-balled fellas are back at it again, taking you down the green mile to playoff ignominy. Jake and Trey talk about a trying evening of soccer, from the wizardry of DP Santi Rodriguez to the unfinished business of Mounsef Bakrar, to the head-scratching header that cost NYCFC both the three points it looked on track to earn AND control of its…

We're not foolin' around. After a brutal summer, NYCFC is officially above the playoff line and your Boys in Blue are here to break down exactly how it happened. Jake and Trey do another three-prong thriller covering an anodyne Hudson River derby, and two shock blitz wins totaling five nasty goals. We hit the new boys, the old boys, and all the blu…

(or: Wake me up, before Chanot Go) Blue Ballers, we know it can be painful to listen to this podcast when things are going so wrong, but your boys in blue pulled it together to sit down and recap the last three matches and all associated dramas, and so you can do your part and give us the play count. Jake and Trey run through themes and thoughts on…

This is a temporary episode blurb while jake writes the real one, farts farts farts and such and such but MINNESOTA, WWC, CINCY, MORE

The heat's broken, Blue Ballers, and so has the news: your FO has been busy after all and NYCFC is adding a slate of new talent. Will it be enough to rescue the 2023 season? Only time will tell -- but in the meantime, Jake and Trey break down the Leagues Cup play so far, including a 5-0 defeat of Toronto that made us cry "stop, stop, he's already d…

Blue Ballers, something stinks! And it's not just the stench of the dead mouse Jake stepped on while going to record. No folks, it's the VIBES. They stink to high heaven and Jake and Trey are digging through the odor trying to figure out why. What's happening on and off the bench? Where is the $12 million dollar man? What went so wrong in Philadelp…

Shabbat shalom, Blue Ballers! Two draws and a win to recap is still significantly better than could have been anticipated -- and yet, we're far from out of the Mad Forest of Midseason. Jake and Trey break it all down for you, taking the hot points from Montreal, Charlotte, and Columbus. We talk officiating, brand new signings, Haaktivism, past live…

It’s more or less the same in Blue Balls land as Jake and Trey recap — what else — another streak of draws. We talk Freese’s pieces, unlikely CB successes, and the various b teams we squeezed points from this week. Plus USMNT and USWNT check-ins, vibe checks on the culture, and the casualest of Montreal precaps. Plug the Vornado in honey — you’ve g…

Folks, we won't lie to you. It's a rough week. Okay show though. Trey and Jake kill some time so that you can kill some time with us and dream of better days on the horizon. We talk what to do with the time we're slowly burning until the transfer window opens, the surprise bright spots of the week, and then a whole bunch of USMNT action that we mis…

Jake & Trey barrel through the smog to give YOU a non-hazardous level of Blue Balls this morning. And what's on the docket? Frustrating scorelines! Testy supporters section exchanges! Mystery slurs! Knee surgeries! Major deals in the league, and the lack thereof at NYCFC! The vibes, friends, are not on -- and your cohorsts are on the ground talking…

Blue Boys got you covered this week to break down three straight NYCFC road losses -- including an early-stage crash out of the Open Cup, and some groan-worthy losses to both Toronto and Charlotte. It's not a good week, blue ballers -- but Trey and Jake get into it anyway, discussing what we learned from minutes snatched by some rarely-seen NYCFC'e…

Your boys in blue break down a massive win at home against FC Dallas and the rise of the Santi Rodriguez False Nine in what feels like a paradigm-shifting mid-season match. Jake and Trey take to the booth to break down this 3-1 victory, Ledezma on the push and the press, and how NYCFC finally found a system that optimizes its talent. Plus: James Sa…

Your boys in blue have a treat for you this week — Jake and Trey are joined by the illustrious DAN AVIDAN (Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party) who flexes his bonafides as an OG fan of NYNJ soccer and a stalwart NYCFC supporter from season one. Your starstruck hosts cannot help but get into full-on interview mode with Dan, but worry not: the threesome als…

A 1-1 draw has our boys feeling more chafed than chuffed, reflecting on a point at home against Atlanta that by all rights should have been a cakewalk. Jake and Trey break down the morale morass that might have kept us from glory, then chat Cushing coordinative creativity and consequences. Mal Pugh is out of the Women’s World Cup — is this summer g…

Hey blue ballers Jake didn't get around to writing a blurb on this one so I'll blah blah blee blah my way through it hmm let's see we talk Houston, New England, ThiaGone, NWSL, NYCFC II, Atlanta, GOLF for some reason, blah blah blah. YOU GET IT, YOU KNOW US BY NOW. WE LOVE YOU. Chag Sameach, you've got Blue Balls.…

Gorgeous work from the Pigeons this week has your boys in blue BUZZING after the 3-2 victory at home over DC United. Jake & Trey tackle absolute darts from Keaton Parks, Santi Rodriguez' true homecoming, and the eternal agony of foolish set piece goals in a short and sweet recap of a game that is slowly becoming typical of your 2023 NYCFC squad. Th…

Ya blue boys is at it again, and this time in PERSON as Jake returns to the Major Metropolitan Area to break down a three point win at NYCFC's glorious home opener. A raucous crowd saw our boys put in a game-winning goal off a set piece, thanks to some charitable support by Miami's McVey. We talk the return of James Sands and the very attractive ac…

It's season nine, bitches!! Your Blue Balls Boys are Back in Action for the ninth season of the perennial blue bruisers at the New York City Football Club. And what a season we have lined up -- full of twists, turns, and sisyphean tasks as New York embarks on its quest to keep a talented roster and a franchise-favorite coach from suffering the indi…

Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? We're days away from the kickoff of NYCFC's historic inaugural ninth season and your boys in blue are BUZZING. Jake and Trey chat the latest in NYCFC news - new jerseys, new rumors, new celebrities repping our new merch - and then set some NEW lines for the season to come in our perennial OVER/UNDER EPISODE. Grab a penci…

The preseason is in full swing as Jake & Trey follow up their mournful departures ep with a cracking roundup of acquisitions, rumored or not. Your boys in blue go back to front, discussing the perks and pitfalls of all the names you’ve seen bandied about on social media, scouring the side for something to get psyched about. Will Mitja upgrade our w…

Welcome back Blue Ballers old and new -- for your patience, in this half season, we're giving you an extra half to our episode this week! Trey and Jake spend ninety big ass minutes running down NYCFC's remarkable 8th season -- and how better to do it than settling the score on Season Eight's Over/Under totals?! THEN: As Sondheim said (i think), the…

Y'all know what we're here to talk about. Jake & Trey dig into a meal nine years in the slow cooker. NYCFC has announced a stadium and we're gettin' into it, baybee. Plus: roster talk and a little World Cup wink before next episode's season-in-review. Don't freak out: Queens has Blue Balls.