Send us a Text Message. I know what you're thinking--are these the people Jim grew up with or was one of them bitten by a radioactive spider. The jury is still out on that one. We celebrate Jim's mom's birthday with some laughs and just the right amount of brotherly angst. **Because we had 5 people and only 4 microphones, Jim decided to sit between…

Send us a Text Message. We finally persuade Mark's wife, Dianne, to sit in on an episode. We told her she didn't have to talk or anything--just check it out and she could chime in if she wanted to. Basically, the podcast version of just the tip. Well, we got more than we bargained for as she did chime in, and she was awesome! Meatloaf again Newt's-…

Send us a Text Message. If you ever wanted to know how Jim would react to winning the Radio Game--this episode is for you. What started innocently as a second episode of the night turned into some pretty good laughs and a good time overall. Mark really liked this one. Multi-media exposure Grab bag redux OG Newt's Kiss Army Mark's grooming tips The …

Send us a Text Message. New concept tonight. We're not pointing any fingers here, but everyone knew Mark and Jim would run out of topics sooner or later. So tonight, we break out the Grab Bag. Might be a worthy concept, but who's kidding who? Newt's shoutouts Mark and Jim leave fashionably late Thank goodness we're not political RIP Bill Walton Tea…

Send us a Text Message. As the title indicates, we could use some of YOUR input on music topics. I mean it's not like we talk about any topic for more than 1/4 of any episode (although there is some juicy Molly Hatchet and Jethro Tull stuff in the radio game today). Thanks for the theme music, feegee (@feegeeband) Mark shot a 50 and he's going to S…

Send us a Text Message. In the spirit of the new golf season, we had to use a Mulligan on this one. We recorded on our usual night, and it turned out even less good/more bad than usual. We added Jim's wife for support and got a much better result. Golf recap We put the suck in seersucker Mark's Bird Island-Lake Lillian glory days story Puckered has…

Send us a Text Message. Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good. What does say about you for listening? Newt's is HOPPING New car to Mark Size concerns Movie Reviews: Clerks and Blade Runner 2049 Radio Game Bee Gees Documentary Eff Jimmy Fallon Timberwolves--can they do it? Sprewell's financial prowess Kentucky Derby update Errors & Omiss…

Send us a Text Message. We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports. Reunted and it feels so good International listeners Wedding recap--guy style Jim's cool friends New Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointed Beyond…

Send us a Text Message. May was rough on us schedule-wise. We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released. In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel. Careful--we don't know how strong it is. No matter how you spell it... Earth's gonna earth The European Model Iman and other one-named cel…

Send us a Text Message. Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf. It was this, or canned peaches. Hey German listener... The Subaru of sandals Jim's milestone birthday Old guy stuff Uncle Milty's is bigger Newt's--The We'll S…

Send us a Text Message. Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode. He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode. Be like Pat. The Rain the Park and Other Things South Park Randy Shoutout CSI: Jim's Basement Vikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star? Still no Ascertainers Burger …

Send us a Text Message. For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode. Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55. I bet he also knows Joey Browner. In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter. Well, my broker is EF Hutton Newt's--yum--you should go…

Send us a Text Message. We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one). Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut. What would you say you do here? Gramma's Boy Introducing Mrs Jim Mancini's shoutout Girl drinks Fancy Ray sighting Newt's: Featuring the All-New Ascertainers Burger Errors & omissions Radio Game 1976 songs, pop c…

Send us a Text Message. The sophomore slump hit your boys hard. We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you. What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were... Listener shout outs Prospective guests Newt's and ho…

Send us a Text Message. That couple is Mark and Jim. During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal. Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out. Extra Kleenex for this one..... Another new fr…

Send us a Text Message. One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast. This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers.... The TDD people probably knew that one already). If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen. Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD) What's with all t…

Send us a Text Message. Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit. Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while. With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs. What The Ascertainers …

Send us a Text Message. We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows.... Thick glasses? Choose positivity, damn it! Have to or get to? Cheat day Ice Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalis Newt's is delicious Where the heck is Sara??? John Cameron Swayze Mark's new neighbor Fake meat during Lent …

Send us a Text Message. We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro. As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it. The other half will hate it. Enjoy! Big Shots Newts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee! Is it hot out there or is it just us? The two Parris's Think twice ab…

Send us a Text Message. After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan. 1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening. This one was challenging to spice up. Knee Job Newt's you say? Symbiosis Who bites gum? Paging our German listener 1973--The rise of Heavy Music? Ki…

Send us a Text Message. Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title. One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure. Another way is to questio…

Send us a Text Message. It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute). Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different. We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All…

Send us a Text Message. Just Mark and Jim on this one. Feeling guilty about not giving his guest/brother much of a chance to speak on Episode 43, Jim vows to do better on this one--and pretty much succeeds. The bar is set pretty low for him. Smiley face emoji Mark's visit to Como Park Zoo Conservatory No gibbons for you today Chuck Foreman When to …

Send us a Text Message. Unusual night in that in addition to our typical pre-game visit to Newt's (in Apple Valley--ever heard of it?), we then went into St Paul to catch a live set from the band Feegee (@feegeeband)--who is the technically the artist that recorded the Ascertainers theme. We had a designated driver, our guest for the evening, Jim's…

Send us a Text Message. At this point, I feel a little bad putting a topic in the title, because we end up getting to the topic in the waning minutes (spoiler alert). Today, we fry some bigger fish with Broadcast Legend and across the street neighbor--Roy! Jim's anatomy Get to know Roy Deep dive into sportscasting, play be play and color commentary…

Send us a Text Message. Special/recurring guest Jason from the 'hood joins us to kick off 2024. After the usual chit chat, we get around to discussing Ballads. Yes, we can see the bottom of the topic bucket--please send in your suggestions to TheAscertainers@gmail.com Also, to help you with the visual, the conversation before the theme music kicks …

Send us a Text Message. This is technically our 40th episode (our Special Holiday Episode was not numbered). Jim had to be up early the next morning, so we only recorded one episode. However, we still hit our normal hydration quota, so I don't think we gained much. Also, we decided to try without a topic. Sorry Ma--Forgot to Plug in Your Headphones…

Send us a Text Message. To help you better understand why Jim is the way he is, we invited his Mom, Ellie, to join us for a special episode. As you will see, she held her own and in spite of a technical blunder--she told us she couldn't hear anything through the headphones, and only after it was over did Mark discover her headphones weren't plugged…

Send us a Text Message. It's the most wonderful time of the year--and I don't mean Honda Days. It's Christmas and we are here to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Freaky Festivus--whatever you celebrate. Hope you get what you wanted. Will Santa get us a new mixing board? We tease an upcoming special episode release Mark's a Chri…

Send us a Text Message. Big treat for everyone as we are joined by neighbor and broadcast professional, Roy! We laughed, we learned and we give Roy the business pretty good/well. Fun Hibbing MN facts Roy runs, Marks runs and Jim ran Newt's promo--mostly uninterrupted but a bit dull as a result Shout out Roy's baseball buddies Brad and Charlie Radio…

Send us a Text Message. This is a second recording of the night, and we attempt to not make any date/season references so we can potentially release it at a later date. Spoiler alert--we are bad at this. Jim's brother Jeff joins us again. For fans of Mark pushing Jim's buttons. Shoutout to the creators of our theme music Newt's promo--can I get tha…

Send us a Text Message. As some already know--don't read too much into the title. We didn't really have a topic going into this one, so if you like the Ascertainers for our ability to rapidly shift from topic to topic with limited redeeming value on any of them--you're going to like this one. If not, maybe sit this one out. Now you want to listen o…

Send us a Text Message. A little nostalgia. Mark's red shirt Episode confusion Newspaper article Have you guys heard of Newt's? Table vs Booth Casual Pescatarianism Errors and Omissions Killed a guy International waters Radio Game Air Force self-deprication Newt's has coupons Bath Robe TV theme songs Aaaand it's over #Newts #whatareyouhiding…

Send us a Text Message. If you're tuning in just for the Friday Night stuff (our original topic), go ahead and fast forward to about 10 minutes left. We still can't budget our time.... Attempts were also made to do a "tight" intro and Newt's promo. We were not successful there either. But hey--you're already here, so give this a listen! Shout out t…

Send us a Text Message. If you can hear this episode, then we haven't been sued yet (check out Ep 31: Jim's Invention). Jim's Bachelor week That one Johnny Depp movie Radio Game Dave Mustaine update Fascinating grammar finds Please stop emailing us! Mark's candy fantasy Weather report Debut Albums Mark sings / T Rex Errors and Omissions Newt's! Sca…

Send us a Text Message. Buckle up kids. This episode could be considered pretty relaxed by Ascertainer's standards, but there are two bona fide big laughs. I hope we don't need a legal defense fund after this one. How we got our name Thanks to last guests, Chantz and Alex Deadlocked at the golf course Errors and Omissions Last Supper correction Rad…

Send us a Text Message. Tough episode to title, but candy seemed to be the common thread. Second episode of the night with Chantz and Alex (Mark's son and his buddy). Fiance: It's just a funny word with a little accent thrown in Alex's cry for help Plea for social media followers Radio Game Update Patty Smyth? Milk Duds Sock Theory Mark's new dryer…

Send us a Text Message. We've evolved to a 4 microphone enterprise and the debut of 4 voices actually went OK. Tonight, we are joined by Chantz (Mark's oldest son) and Alex (Chantz's buddy and top Ascertainers fan), We have gone over 1,000 downloads! Who knew?? Thanks to all who've listened Introducing our guests Chantz takes the wheel Crazy Lead S…

Send us a Text Message. This one starts with an unusually winding introduction including our first female voice. Jim swears way less. Farmer's Almanac Mark's Wife Cameo Why we regret doing Movie Soundtracks as a topic Moonlight Mile Swear Jar Radio Game Josh Duhamel Movie Soundtracks Newt's Promo--Sara is MVP and New Special Waning or Waxing Moon P…

Send us a Text Message. First and foremost--Jim swore way too much on this episode. He (I) counted the F bombs and the sum is either impressive or embarrassing. Shield your kids from this one. It's not even good, quality swearing. It's gratuitous, like every 80's movie showing boobs--whether it added to the story or not. Bad example. I'll do better…

Send us a Text Message. We bring back our first ever guest, Jason a/k/a The Flip Flop Wearing Weed Whipper! Mark puts the mock in mock turtleneck Jim sucks at golf Vikings off to horrible start Wedding talk Tattoo talk MARK's PROFESSION FINALLY REVEALED More tattoo talk Newt's promo--including the best alternate word for pescatarian yet! Ketchup Fi…

Send us a Text Message. Episode 25 already? As mentioned previously, you'd think we'd be better at this, but we forge ahead. This episode is one of those where we record two in one night because of a scheduling conflict down the road. Translation: Words will be slurred. Mark Makes his wife mad at "the" Newt's Mark's new neighbor not impressed Sound…

Send us a Text Message. Listen closely and you will hear that the theme music has been re-recorded and sounds a little more warm and natural. Shout out to Audie AD and PW! Gotta be honest, this episode is very under control "in control." Some may find it boring, others soothing. Maybe don't operate heavy machinery while listening. That's what our l…

Send us a Text Message. We get to the Beatles eventually, but before that, we have other important items like: Mark's new shirt color: Vitamin Piss (that better be a band name already) Two weeks of golf recaps 911--what's your emergency? Audie Pat stiffs Mark--again! RIP Audie CN "N" How to mispronounce Mea Culpa Jim's childhood goal--Ornathology G…

Send us a Text Message. Apparently, people who listen to this have too many T-shirts, because we didn't have to send any out this week! Is this thing even on (see what I did there with the title)? Pretty standard episode: Mark beat Jim in golf again (and gets a little cocky--stay tuned to see how that works out) We talk Newt's--including, "The Sara…

Send us a Text Message. This one was recorded as a bonus episode that we could have on the shelf for a rainy day--then we realized we needed it right away, so it's literally being released in the order it was recorded.... For those that still think we are a music podcast, buckle up, because there's plenty of that ahead--as well as some very, very r…

Send us a Text Message. What in the world?? 20 episodes already? When we began this folly, I'm not sure either of us thought we'd make it to 20! You'd think we'd be so much better with that much practice... Because this episode was recorded after 2 previously recorded episodes were aired, there was a lot of time needed for Mark to correct/analyze/d…

Send us a Text Message. As you will discover early on, this is the second episode of the night and we have remained well hydrated on account of the hot weather... Typical episode with no real intellectual value, but a few laughs are there for the taking. Tom Hanks, Super Roadie MN Weather and Weather Personalities Are they really a Dr? When to leav…

Send us a Text Message. Episode 18 is a case study in ADHD. We are all over the map--even more than usual... Mark's salmon shirt Crayons--specifically Burnt Orange Mark sends Jim back to Episode 1 Ascertainers Facebook page excuses Quarterback Shout out to You Betcha Guy The most obscure Radio Game to date Quadriceps Contusion Phil Collins controve…

Send us a Text Message. As the title indicates, bit of a mixed bag. We get into music a little later, but you have to battle your way to the prize. Jim's Community Service Mark Beats Jim at Golf (a/k/a Blind squirrel finds nut) Errors and Omissions Big night at Newt's Mark gets snubbed by an Audie! Blue Swede or Blue Suede? Radio Game: Pablo Cruise…