Adam recounts his three month experience trying to have an unsightly growth removed from his person

The Omaha Bugle-Global News Network

A fan of Dr. Pimple Popper, Adam shares his recent experience having a fatty growth removed so that he can resume his training for the U.S. Track and Field Championships. The similarities between hamburgers and fatty growths are discussed. Adam wonders why doctors never seem to know why patients are in their office because they always ask "Why are you here?" Adam then describes the carousel of referrals that he had to obtain to get clearance for his surgery (including blood work, x-rays, and EKGs) in order be deemed worthy of a 10-minute topical surgical procedure. Adam also points out that due to the delays in being able to schedule these preliminary appointments, he had to visit these offices more than once because these tests all had 30-day expiration periods and his surgeon was often not available due to pre-existing obligations (e.g., golf tournaments, weekend trips to Monaco). Adam also wondered if he should be worried when he see a sign in the waiting room stating that the doctor does not carry malpractice insurance (e.g., perhaps the doctor never makes mistakes?). Jeff points out that medicals costs in the United States have vastly outstripped all other costs except for college tuition--due in large part to high labor costs and the widespread use of expensive machines that make all sorts of pinging sounds. Because the average per night stay in a hospital averages $20,000.00, Jeff wonders if it would be better to use that money to rent a luxury hotel penthouse suite in New York or Paris and then just have a concierge doctor swing by to perform the procedure on his lunch hour.