The Assault I Don't Discuss - A Personal Story

Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape.
Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an extra layer of shame and stigma that survivors of anal rape face on their path to healing. I hope that by sharing this story I can help others feel less alone.
The Episode Cover
The episode cover is an actual photo of me and my abuser that was taken the year this assault took place. It is run through a filter to protect identities. Without context the photo looks innocent enough, but within the context of an abusive relationship the image changes. I was standing tall and confident and he is seen pulling at my arm to spin me around, or pull me to him. It was a moment I know must have appeared charming or romantic to outsiders.
Episode Notes:
Resource for Survivors
https://www.rainn.org/
The Myths
http://www.consented.ca/myths/perpetrators-cant-help-themselves/
TW: This article contains graphic details of sexual assault
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/01/my-own-rape-shows-how-badly-we-stereotype-perps-and-victims/

Support the show