SDP 022 FRIENDSHIP | A paradigm shift and a new perspective

Socially Disabled Podcast

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SDP 022 FRIENDSHIP | A paradigm shift and a new perspective
Mantra for the week. No friendship is an accident. - O. Henry (William Sydney Porter)
Today we are going to put Friendship into perspective. There seems to be a lot of misinformation about what actually constitutes a friend. Of course, this is just my opinion and this criterion will change for everyone but I think that there are definitely some constants that remain across the board.
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This is likely to be a paradigm shift for you concerning what is a friend. We have been conditioned to think that a friend is someone that is always there for you when you need them and especially when you are at your lowest.
What is friendship and how do you build and maintain one?

I don’t think that a friend is some unconditional supporter that is there for you in your dark times. All the MEMES say something to that effect. About you know who your true friends are when you are at your worst etc. I think that is one sided BS. To me that is such a selfish statement that if that is the requirement very few people would live up to that litmus test.

Here are some points to consider:
1 You are only the centre of your universe, not everyone else’s.
2 No one is plotting against you and you are not the topic of every conversation.
3 Friendship is a give and take that cannot exist one sided.
4 Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is give you space to figure your own shit out.
5 Friends listen they don’t lecture; with free advice you get what you pay for.
6 Friends are not at your beckon call, do expect them to drop everything because you need them.
7 Sometimes true friends don’t actually talk to each other for a very long time.
8 Friends communicate open and honest. Sugar is poison.
9 Friends are grateful and reciprocal but not indebted to each other.
10 Above all, A real friend will not put you in a position that makes you uncomfortable.
Here are five things to do with a false friend or toxic relationship:
1 Create distance
2 Limit entanglements
3 Don’t create a tit for tat situation, let it go when you are one up.
4 Don’t share your problems with people you don’t fully trust.
5 Avoid any conversation that has the potential to instigate strong emotional reactions.
BONUS TIP: The enemy of my friend is not my enemy. If I lived by that rule I would have no friends at all. Besides what happens when you snub someone because they had a falling out with one of your friends. Then those two make up and now neither of them wants to talk to you? This has happened to me more than I care to remember. If two friends are falling out then I suggest you just step back let them solve the issue on their own, remain friends with both but keep your distance so as not to appear to have taken a side. And most important, don’t be a double agent. You will be tried and found guilty as a traitor by both sides.